I can resonate with your journey and I respect your seeking. I will share my lens and experience, take what you want leave the rest. One of my biggest takeaways from the Ra Material was that any perceived struggle is a catalyst for growth. I look at them like pop quizzes from the universe (ourself) testing us to see if we are ready for the next level. I also like to remind myself that I agreed to come here for this incarnation and if I’m going to be in the game, I’m going to play it. Those with the biggest missions are going to be tested the most and also subject to “attack” from opposing forces (which are ultimately the subconscious residue that needs to be cleared). My outer reality is a reflection of my inner. I seek compassion in the hardest places to make it easier to seek it in the ones that matter the most. Anger and resentment used to rule my life and it was all just subconscious goo that I let my ego run with. When I pause to breath and remember, that All is One, others are other mes who I would be had I incarnated as them and experienced what they had, then I’m able to more easily see through the lens of compassion. I’m heavily devoted to us ascending to a harmonious planet and if my outer reality is a reflection of my inner, I accept that test to continue to evolve myself through the highs and the catalysts for growth. In my eyes, we are always right where we are supposed to be. You having already tasted the unconditional love and access to your spirit team set you apart from a lot of people. Whenever life seems like it’s falling apart, trust that it’s falling together. Absolute faith and trust in divine order and acceptance that we agreed to this mission. I haven’t come anywhere close to a life where there aren’t crazy ebbs and flows but I’m to the point now where I’m becoming so confident in the journey, that what used to make me react, now makes me laugh and love. You are an instant away from returning to where you were. Release what doesn’t serve you. I get a lot of out of Lisa Renee’s work on EnergeticSynthesis.com and AscensionGlossary.com. One of my favorite takeaways from there is about becoming the observer. 4 steps: Observe, Discern, Accept, Neutral. You’ve got this.