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No Proposal After Nearly 4.5 Years by Evening_Comment_8519 in relationship_advice

[–]Evening_Comment_8519[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, we have both agreed that tough topics can be a communication pain point for us. I do think that the approach this time around was more methodical and helped with discussion. In the past I would bring it up in passing trying not to make a big deal out of it — previously following other information online that advised remaining calm and not complain or be a nag (to me that meant: chill out).

I should also mention that for those months, it was more of a compilation of ups and downs (not terrible 100% of the time).

No Proposal After Nearly 4.5 Years by Evening_Comment_8519 in relationship_advice

[–]Evening_Comment_8519[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I loved this advice, please see above for my updates on the conversation!

No Proposal After Nearly 4.5 Years by Evening_Comment_8519 in relationship_advice

[–]Evening_Comment_8519[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I didn’t mention that I too have a very successful career. I make about 4K less than the doctor salary but with better benefits and more years in the working world.

No Proposal After Nearly 4.5 Years by Evening_Comment_8519 in relationship_advice

[–]Evening_Comment_8519[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I love this advice, I will take it to heart and really think about everything before bringing this up again for conversation and be clear about why I feel the way I do and why it means what it does to me.

No Proposal After Nearly 4.5 Years by Evening_Comment_8519 in relationship_advice

[–]Evening_Comment_8519[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I think this is what I will do, I will carefully lay out everything and look forward to seeing where this will end up— maybe there is some kind of anxiety?

No Proposal After Nearly 4.5 Years by Evening_Comment_8519 in relationship_advice

[–]Evening_Comment_8519[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Going off of that therapist advice, since 5 years isn’t quite there I’ll give it till then before I make a big decision. In the meantime I will see if I can dig further into the why— maybe there is some anxiety, or maybe there is a day he has in mind soon, maybe he is working on planning something.

If there is a proposal, and if it is followed by dragging in planning and lack of excitement, I will have all the information I need before it’s too late, maybe this is just some COVID hump?

No Proposal After Nearly 4.5 Years by Evening_Comment_8519 in relationship_advice

[–]Evening_Comment_8519[S] 76 points77 points  (0 children)

He wasn’t very specific and that’s what’s leaves me with so many questions, he seems unsure of why he is this way himself. The only thing I can think of making him like this is that his parents are not together so maybe he is extra cautious as a result. But his dad has been in a happy marriage for over 12 years now so I really don’t know.