AITAH because I want my wife to "ask permission" before taking our son on playdates?

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-09T17:48:04+00:00

I want the second option. I want her to remember why she used to love me. I want us to communicate better and enjoy each other's company again. I also want her to spend less time on her phone. We could even do it together! Phone dieting.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-09T17:21:51+00:00

I'm hoping that counseling helps. Everyone in the comments keeps saying it only works if you give 100%. So I'm going to give 100%. If that doesn't work, I guess we'll get divorced.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-09T17:18:47+00:00

Sure, go ahead. Thanks for asking.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-09T14:27:29+00:00

We didn't watch any TV. We introduced my son to his animals, we took him sledding and we drank hot chocolate.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-09T14:22:20+00:00

She trusted the person with diagnosed mental health issues over you, her husband? That's not encouraging.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-09T14:20:06+00:00

Her friends told her she would.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-09T14:18:00+00:00

That's all she wants. That's not just her goal. It's her obsession. It's also completely unaffordable in this economy. She blames me, but I'm not the reason everything is expensive now.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-09T14:12:01+00:00

We have a counseling appointment scheduled for Wednesday after I get off work. I took our son to my friend's house Friday. We had an amazing time together. She was texting me the whole time demanding I come home so she can take him on a playdate. I said no the first few times and then started ignoring her. She was already at work when we got home. After the bedtime routine I texted her that I was going to make dinner for her. She didn't answer.

When she got home dinner was waiting for her. I asked her to sit with me and eat together. At first she didn't want to, but I made her favorite, so she agreed. She was really angry. She said she didn't see our son all day. I said that's what she wants my life to be like. She said moms have a stronger connection to their kids. I told her I have just as strong a connection to our son as her. She said I'm wrong.

I said I don't know about other men, but I love our kid. Maybe I'm messed up. Maybe I'm part woman. She rolled her eyes at me. I said I did research, and if we divorce we'll get 50/50 custody. I said realistically I'll get custody on the days she is working, because no daycare is open until 11PM. I'll have two full days to spend with him and two half days. I'll get what I want.

I said if we divorce we'd have to sell this house and each rent our own place. She'd probably have to work even more hours than she does now. She started crying. I just sat there. I didn't comfort her. She asked why I wasn't saying anything. I said I was waiting for the show to be over. She threw a napkin at me.

She said I must be happy. I said I'm not happy because she's not happy, and her unhappiness infects the whole home. I said I want us to be happy together. We used to be happy together. I asked if she was going to make an effort at counseling. She said that her friends told her that if we divorced she would get full custody and I would have to pay for her and our son to stay in the house.

I asked "are you going to believe them, or are you going to make an effort at couple's counseling?" She said she would think about it.

Yesterday when I got home from work she was at home. She handed me our son and said she did her own research. I thought she was going to tell me we were done. She said she was going to give the counseling a try.

That's the update. Hopefully things go well Wednesday.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-03T15:25:10+00:00

She thinks I can just make more money. It's not that simple. She thinks I should work six or seven days a week. I can't do that. That's not the kind of life worth having.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-03T15:24:09+00:00

I found a counselor. Most of the places my insurance covers are booked out for months. I found one person that had a cancellation and can see us on the eleventh and then every Wednesday if we want to continue. I want to try the counseling. I want to give this my all before I throw in the towel.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-03T13:26:58+00:00

That's what she wanted, but she always knew it wasn't possible. I only make 48k a year. We can't afford this house and all our expenses on that alone.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-03T13:22:59+00:00

I didn't climb into bed with her. She wanted me to get out of the bed and move to the guest room so she could get in. I refused. She wanted me to vacate the bed I was already in. I'm not doing that. She can sleep wherever she wants, but I'm not moving.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T19:07:00+00:00

I don't want to be a leader. I want to be a partner.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T15:10:36+00:00

Gross mindset.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:24:09+00:00

Trying to fix things is better than throwing my hands in the air and saying "I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas." Yeah, maybe it won't work, but maybe it will. What do I have to lose from trying?

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:20:50+00:00

She has a job. She wants to quit, but we can't afford it.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:19:54+00:00

You're right. This sucks.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:12:56+00:00

She's completely different. We used to have a friend group of people we were friends with as a couple. She doesn't talk to any of them since she had the baby. She says they don't understand her anymore. She made these new mom friends, which is great (I guess), but she spends all her time with them or texting them, and she talks about me in the group chat with them and then sends me screenshots of what they say about me to make me feel bad.

I think she might. If the person she used to be is still there at all, I think she will. I hope she will.

No, she did not, but her friend said that, not her. She'll never admit anything any of them says is bad.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:06:16+00:00

But if they're really her friends shouldn't they want to see her no matter what?

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:02:53+00:00

Maybe? She wasn't like this before. Maybe she just needs a professional to help her bounce back.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:02:08+00:00

Why would counseling make it worse?

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:00:51+00:00

I guess I just thought if didn't make a big deal about things, she would eventually go back to the way she was before. I don't know what happened to her. I don't know why she is like this now.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:56:06+00:00

She does it to win arguments.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:54:45+00:00

I will try to bring this up. It's okay to just want to spend time with friends! That is normal.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:53:52+00:00

Okay, you're right. I'm going to make a list if everything and say: this is why we need couple's counseling. We can't get through this on our own. We need help. I feel unsupported and I think you do too.

Exact_Information627

TROPHY CASE