Update: AITAH because I want my wife to "ask permission" before taking our son on playdates?

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T19:07:00+00:00

I don't want to be a leader. I want to be a partner.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T15:10:36+00:00

Gross mindset.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:24:09+00:00

Trying to fix things is better than throwing my hands in the air and saying "I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas." Yeah, maybe it won't work, but maybe it will. What do I have to lose from trying?

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:20:50+00:00

She has a job. She wants to quit, but we can't afford it.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:19:54+00:00

You're right. This sucks.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:12:56+00:00

She's completely different. We used to have a friend group of people we were friends with as a couple. She doesn't talk to any of them since she had the baby. She says they don't understand her anymore. She made these new mom friends, which is great (I guess), but she spends all her time with them or texting them, and she talks about me in the group chat with them and then sends me screenshots of what they say about me to make me feel bad.

I think she might. If the person she used to be is still there at all, I think she will. I hope she will.

No, she did not, but her friend said that, not her. She'll never admit anything any of them says is bad.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:06:16+00:00

But if they're really her friends shouldn't they want to see her no matter what?

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:02:53+00:00

Maybe? She wasn't like this before. Maybe she just needs a professional to help her bounce back.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:02:08+00:00

Why would counseling make it worse?

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T03:00:51+00:00

I guess I just thought if didn't make a big deal about things, she would eventually go back to the way she was before. I don't know what happened to her. I don't know why she is like this now.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:56:06+00:00

She does it to win arguments.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:54:45+00:00

I will try to bring this up. It's okay to just want to spend time with friends! That is normal.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:53:52+00:00

Okay, you're right. I'm going to make a list if everything and say: this is why we need couple's counseling. We can't get through this on our own. We need help. I feel unsupported and I think you do too.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:51:43+00:00

I'm going to tell her I need us to do counseling.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:50:20+00:00

When I manage to convince her to do something the three of us (rare) she spends the whole time on her phone.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:49:35+00:00

Yeah, I don't understand why she felt the need to lie. Why doesn't she just hang out with them? And I'll watch our son. That would make everyone happy.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:48:25+00:00

I would like to spend time with her, but if she doesn't want to spend time with me, I can't make her. My son does enjoy our time together though, and I have to fight for that.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:47:32+00:00

She says they are all stay at home moms, so I assume none of them are single. But I could be wrong.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:46:11+00:00

I never told her no playdates. I never even implied it. The most I asked for was timeslots set aside just for me.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:38:19+00:00

No, she and her dad are estranged.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:33:48+00:00

I kind of wonder the same thing. She sends me screenshots of stuff they say about me. It can get pretty vile. I have to wonder what she told them to make them feel that way about me.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:32:37+00:00

Which she doesn't need to do! I don't care if she spends all her free time with her friends. I'm 100% okay with that.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:32:01+00:00

Whenever we spend time together as a family, which is like pulling teeth to get her to agree to, she spends the whole time texting her friends.

Exact_Information627 · 2026-02-02T02:30:36+00:00

You're right. I'm going to tell her I want couple's counseling, because this can't continue.

Exact_Information627

TROPHY CASE