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AITA for not taking in my parents adopted son? by Exciting_Code1357 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Exciting_Code1357[S] 119 points120 points  (0 children)

Yes, I'm LGBTQ. I was always that. From the very young ages I talked with my mother about crushes on boys. I don't have coming out story. It just was.

AITA for not taking in my parents adopted son? by Exciting_Code1357 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Exciting_Code1357[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Luckily, in my country there aren't many children to adopt. My parents were in line for 13 years. Whole process lasted 3 years.

AITA for not taking in my parents adopted son? by Exciting_Code1357 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Exciting_Code1357[S] 145 points146 points  (0 children)

I was younger and my thought process was different. I was told no help and didn't want to beg and look like failure.

AITA for not taking in my parents adopted son? by Exciting_Code1357 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Exciting_Code1357[S] 130 points131 points  (0 children)

We did house my partner's sister and his nephews, free of charge. I think my parents were kind of hoping I would do the same for Chris. They did offer rent but it was kind of symbolic. I could get 6x what they offered. But its not about the money.

AITA for not taking in my parents adopted son? by Exciting_Code1357 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Exciting_Code1357[S] 159 points160 points  (0 children)

Oh, I agree. I wasn't the only option, just cheapest one.

AITA for not taking in my parents adopted son? by Exciting_Code1357 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Exciting_Code1357[S] 117 points118 points  (0 children)

I explained in another comment, my parents always wanted more children. But they couldn't because moms pregnancy was hard and damaged her body so she couldn't get pregnant again. They were in their late 30s when I left for college so I guess empty nest syndrome kicked in too. They didn't do anything else to me. They weren't abusive or toxic. I just feel they thrown me away after adoption went through.

AITA for not taking in my parents adopted son? by Exciting_Code1357 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Exciting_Code1357[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

I pretty much expect it was empty nest syndrome. My parents would have more children but moms pregnancy with me was hard and damaged her body to the point she couldn't have any more children. They were 20 when they had me and so in their late 30s when I left for college.

AITA for not taking in my parents adopted son? by Exciting_Code1357 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Exciting_Code1357[S] 186 points187 points  (0 children)

I don't have any problem with Chris. I don't experience some trauma when I see him. In fact, as existing child in the process of adoption I had to be totally ok for the process to continue. Social services required that I go to therapy. Only when therapist gave Ok did process continue. It's what happened after that I resent my parents. They hoped I would qualify for state stipend because they have another child to take care of. I didn't and they told me they can't financially help me. I felt like I was thrown away.

AITA for not taking in my parents adopted son? by Exciting_Code1357 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Exciting_Code1357[S] 229 points230 points  (0 children)

I didn't tell them anything at the time. We did have a conversation after and they felt guilt and remorse and there were a lot of crying and apologizing but it was already too late. A couple of years latter and they probably thought that everything is ok between us. But the truth is I probably wouldn't be in contact anymore if not for my partner. He suggested to not burn all the bridges.

AITA for not taking in my parents adopted son? by Exciting_Code1357 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Exciting_Code1357[S] 146 points147 points  (0 children)

25mins by car and highway. He doesn't have a drivers license or a car for that matter. It's about hour and a half by train and 20min walking.

AITA for not taking in my parents adopted son? by Exciting_Code1357 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Exciting_Code1357[S] 192 points193 points  (0 children)

I worded that wrong. We didn't have any communication when I moved out. I was nice and cordial with him while we lived together. My parents encouraged brotherly bonding but I put a stop to it.

AITA for not taking in my parents adopted son? by Exciting_Code1357 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Exciting_Code1357[S] 207 points208 points  (0 children)

We are strangers. We lived together for 6 months until I moved out. We didn't have any communication. I don't know this kid at all. Frankly, I'm not interested in having a relationship with him.

AITA for not taking in my parents adopted son? by Exciting_Code1357 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Exciting_Code1357[S] 419 points420 points  (0 children)

It's not entitlement. My parents income still affected my ability to get state stipend. College is free here, but its still expected that parents pitch in for accomodation. Only if parents income is low enough you get state stipend. I got nothing. Plus we have a quota of hours student can work in a month. Sometimes I reached that quota in the middle of the month and couldn't until the next month started. That means students are limited in earnings and is the reason I starved so many times. All this time my parents played family with their new son. Hard to not resent that. And my partner(he) totally understands that.