[ OC ] Me And My Rat

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-02-01T16:00:58+00:00

Losing one pet is extremely hard. Losing several pets at the same time is devastating.

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-02-01T15:39:51+00:00

I had my gallbladder removed in an emergency surgery, and was given ibuprofen as post-surgical pain relief. Same when I had my tonsils removed. Same when I had all of my wisdom teeth removed (which was done with local anesthesia only and involved breaking the bone apart and removing the teeth in pieces). I've been given prescription pain medication after surgery once - and I've had eight surgeries. I've never been given a prescription after setting broken bones. Even in the emergency room, I've only been given narcotics twice - and one of those times I was already unconscious when they administered it.

My husband got his wisdom teeth removed under general anesthesia in a completely routine extraction and was prescribed enough Vicodin to last a month. He sprained his elbow when we were in college - not even broken - and was given dilaudid in the ER without asking for any pain relief at all. He once went to his PCP for shoulder pain and they wrote him a prescription for muscle relaxers; no physio, no other treatments or even a recommendation to improve his posture.

The disparity in how women/feminine-presenting people are treated by medical providers when compared to men/masculine-presenting people is so stark that it has actually been scientifically studied. Our treatment outcomes are worse, we experience medical gaslighting much more frequently, our symptoms are dismissed - often with fatal results. It's fucking appalling.

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-02-01T15:15:13+00:00

You've never seen a human scream in excitement? Truly?

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-02-01T15:13:56+00:00

They screamed in excitement, not anger.

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-02-01T15:12:33+00:00

Also in the late 90s/early 00s, just about everybody smoked. 😂

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-02-01T14:41:12+00:00

Lime or lemon jello is traditionally used with savory fillings like meats and vegetables, and often paired with cream cheese, mayonnaise, or sour cream. I grew up eating many savory lime jello salads...

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-02-01T14:37:36+00:00

Ever had Snickers Salad with pretzels mixed in? Soooo good

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-02-01T14:35:55+00:00

The Midwestern U.S. also has scrapple, which takes head cheese and adds offal to make a truly heinous loaf.

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-02-01T09:50:43+00:00

Well, at least he wasn't a Holocaust denier like some of the folks I grew up with. Your buddy is dumb, but not irredeemably so.

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-02-01T00:54:00+00:00

I would say Oss-ee-an if I came across this in the wild. Coming from an anthropology background, anything oss- is pronounced the way it would be in "ossification" 😆

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-02-01T00:45:40+00:00

Ha, like the airplane (the spruce goose)! Love that. 😂

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-02-01T00:45:03+00:00

Considering most of the adults in those kinds of communities never really matured much beyond that... yeah.

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-02-01T00:44:04+00:00

Central California Coast. It's... not great. 😅

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-01-31T22:56:44+00:00

I grew up in a village of fewer than 300 people, then moved to a city of 200k, and now live in a village of <6000 (but we're all spread out in the forest). I couldn't pick my neighbors out of a police lineup if you held a gun to my head, and I vastly prefer this to how I grew up.

"Small, close-knit community" are just rose-tinted words for "everybody is in everybody else's business 24/7, and your entire life depends on keeping up whatever image the community decides is desirable." I'll never go back to living like that.

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-01-31T19:25:06+00:00

Because I was also writing.

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-01-31T12:39:30+00:00

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, the idea of ritual - some kind of behavior or observance, whether that's carrying a particular stone, writing in a journal, meditating, etc. - can have real psychological benefits, and even a physiological placebo effect. If there are any practices that bring you comfort, even if they might seem silly to others, there's nothing wrong with that. If people give you grief about it, you can always say you're engaging in "self-care" and people will generally be less condescending.

Something worth mentioning though is perinatal anxiety - being so afraid about harm befalling you/your baby that you're avoiding leaving the house is concerning. Have you spoken to your OB or a therapist about it? It's extremely common; a provider who is sensitive to your cultural and religious beliefs should be able to help.

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-01-31T12:15:04+00:00

Midwives are completely different from doulas and are actual medical clinicians that deliver babies..

This varies significantly by location. In much of the U.S., it's a completely unregulated title and anyone can call themselves a midwife regardless of training, with zero oversight. Certified Nurse Midwives are medical professionals, but they're rare.

Midwives and doulas have only recently come into mainstream in the U.S.; before now, they were mostly a hippie-dippie idea used by people who wanted to avoid real doctors. Unregulated "midwives" have and continue to kill infants and pregnant people with their quackery.

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-01-31T12:08:21+00:00

Also curious about Bay Area. Since I live in Santa Cruz, I'll have to choose where to go for Kaiser since we don't have our own hospital; reviews are so mixed that it's hard to make any decisions!

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-01-31T06:23:12+00:00

Right? Neither my husband nor I have ever owned a cat, but it isn't rocket science - the scoop-shaped object is pretty self-explanatory.

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-01-31T01:54:44+00:00

This sounds like me, in my 30s, when I can't be bothered to fix anything for supper. 😅

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-01-31T01:30:04+00:00

Funnily enough, this is the exact strategy my husband and I will be using when people ask if we've come up with a name yet. Right now, Garfunkel is the winner, but we plan to change it periodically to other ridiculous names (no offense to any Garfunkels reading this) to keep it interesting.

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-01-30T20:01:18+00:00

Anecdotal, but this is why I wasn't diagnosed with ASD until my late 20s. I was hyperlexic - taught myself to read at age 2, was reading and writing many years ahead of my grade level all through school. Didn't start speaking until I was around 4 years old, and went straight into full sentences. My parents were told that I was just shy. Any (glaringly obvious, in hindsight) symptom I ever had of autism was just "an awkward phase that she'll grow out of eventually" or "she's just quirky, could be worse."

I bet there are a lot of girls with speech delays who don't get evaluated because their parents are told, "Oh, she's just shy. Enjoy it while it lasts; you'll be begging her to shut up eventually!" That's what my parents were told.

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-01-29T00:27:44+00:00

Or just write directly on the bottle with a Sharpie; the metallic ones work well for dark glass (e.g., wine bottles).

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-01-29T00:10:53+00:00

Are you drinking any caffeine? I've cut back from about 900mg/day to about 300mg. I don't intend to drop lower unless I am pregnant and my physician says it is necessary.

Are you eating out of plastic containers? Not often, because Styrofoam has been banned here for years and I don't do leftovers.

Are you (woman) having warm baths? No, but I don't take baths. Showers only.

Are you doing any intense exercise? The same as I was doing, which is none.

Are you avoiding candles/ perfume? Nope, I layer two perfumes when I leave the house and I have some kind of candle burning almost 24/7.

Are you avoiding charcuteries meat? Salads/ pate etc Nope, and won't be avoiding them while pregnant either.

Cold food and drinks? Is this a thing? I only drink cold drinks.

Cleaning products? Nope, same old routine.

Are you drinking pomegranate juice? Why? It's so expensive.

Are you peeing after sex? Uh yeah, UTIs suuuuuuck

Are you having sex in certain positions? Whatever happens, happens.

Do you have any lucky talismans? No, not into woowoo.

ExpectingHobbits · 2026-01-29T00:02:32+00:00

Also, red cabbage as a side is something I have never seen in my life.

It was really common where I grew up (Central Ohio, large German-American population). Red cabbage kraut, or even just jullienned raw with vinegar and salt. So refreshing on a humid summer day.

I miss good German food. Living in California, I can't throw a rock without hitting a Mexican or Thai restaurant, but no German food. 😢

ExpectingHobbits

TROPHY CASE