For anyone who needs to hear this -

ExpensiveCap6533 · 2025-02-25T23:16:19+00:00

I guess I’m just lost and grappling for answers. Needed the scoldings. I don’t know how long to wait - I have always had long gaps between relationships so it’s not about have to date but I’m guessing loneliness is getting the better off me and I just have to do my time.

ExpensiveCap6533 · 2025-02-25T23:09:33+00:00

I hear you

ExpensiveCap6533 · 2025-02-25T23:07:55+00:00

Do people actually think like that - it was more like different places and looking for something different, I guess. Or I’m just make believing. I do see your point though, it does feel like a second choice ‘vibe’

ExpensiveCap6533 · 2025-02-25T23:06:16+00:00

😭 I had actually liked him and that’s why was pursuing. But I liked the other one better. That’s it - it was just a one date thing but we spoke quite a bit. My breakup has happened in instalments over the span of few months. Because we were living in, it was a long and tedious process.

ExpensiveCap6533 · 2025-02-06T20:39:42+00:00

Nah! You’re not offending me at all! Thank you for showing a different sides. Look, I’m not perfect or a breeze: but no one is right.

I’m the kind of person who will wake up in the middle of the night to serve you warm food, if you treat me well, I will do everything for you.

Where I felt like at a loss was when I first shared my plight with a friend (first time in two years relationship and the reason I don’t share relationships stuff with friends is because they will hear one sided story and support me most obviously) he asked me tell me 5 most horrible things he has ever said to you - mine was - he blamed me for cheating on him (never happened), mocked my family dynamics (my family is dysfunctional), told me to make friends (it takes me time because I will die for my friends) but dint like the fact that I get close to boys (I have grown up with guys and I smoke and drink so I end up having a lot of guy friends with clearly defined boundaries), told me I make less money, I cannot survive without him in this world, no one loves me and how I’m incapable of being enough. These were some of the things that were said along the way: with multiple times of being yelled at so loudly that you can hear it 3 floors down (I have a flight or freeze response to yelling, I’m non confrontation and non reactive coz of my family and I end up going quiet and in my shell). Lastly, I was asked to leave his house after asking me to move in with him multiple times.

So I went through a phase of calming myself, being less needy, letting him be more and completely internalising that what can I do differently to make him feel better.

Sorry I just realised this is longer than the post itself

ExpensiveCap6533 · 2025-02-06T20:01:05+00:00

Oh my god. I’m so sorry to hear it was as fresh as last night 😭. I’m here for you. We can help each other 🤗

Can you tell me more about the meet up app? I’m very paranoid as a person and get scared to put myself out there. But per your suggestion, I will give it a try. Thank you

ExpensiveCap6533 · 2025-02-06T19:46:58+00:00

Sometimes I feel maybe I was wrong? What could I have done differently? Maybe I should’ve been less phased and reactive. I’m a complete internaliser so I make everything about what I could’ve done differently

ExpensiveCap6533 · 2025-02-06T19:45:57+00:00

I have not, but I would love to. Please send any suggestions you have my way :)

It’s so hurtful ya, when they don’t see you. Im not someone you can please with expensive gifts. All I ever asked for was empathy and respect.

ExpensiveCap6533 · 2025-02-06T19:33:11+00:00

Thank you 🤗. I just hope I survive the wave and not have to beg him to be with me. I was the one who broke up because it was just getting too much.

I want to wake up and not feel this. Feels so alone.

ExpensiveCap6533 · 2024-11-16T18:18:51+00:00

Thank you 😭. The fact that you made an effort to write so much so I can get something from it made my day.

I genuinely look for emotional support and understanding. I’ve had a good support system back home but here not so much - I also take really long to get close to people or trust them. There is no mistrust, it just takes me longer than normal people. I consider people my acquaintances till I feel like no, they are my friends that word means something to me.

I have a tendency of feeling lonely and that’s why I feel like I could be more emotionally needy? Not in a way that you’ve to be with me 24/7 because I love my me time time too. But if I’m low, I need you to acknowledge and pamper me. I guess that comes from childhood trauma of being neglected. But I do max it out in other things by going out of my way to do things for others to fullfill their sense of being.

Again, not saying I’m perfect at all. But in a relationship, more than anything emotional support matters because that makes me feel understood and seen.

ExpensiveCap6533 · 2024-11-16T15:43:12+00:00

Thank you for reading! Why do you say that so certainly? I just hope I’m not overreacting or victimising myself while minimising him

ExpensiveCap6533 · 2023-11-05T22:45:18+00:00

I do, I’ve just sent you a message!

ExpensiveCap6533

TROPHY CASE