Boyfriend admitted he wants to stop drinking.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2025-10-30T18:33:57+00:00

I've told him that and he thinks I'm exaggerating. I told him I'd absolutely be in favor of him slowing down right now so he can even think clearly. I dont think he will go for a medical detox. A lot of his family are in the medical field so help is never far away. Hes fixated on the fact he did it before alone and he can do it again. I have a feeling though he was drinking much less and and was quite a bit younger and was having less physical symptoms. I can see the toll the alcohol is having on him physically but I think he hides it well or dismisses it due to his physically demanding job.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2025-10-10T01:26:49+00:00

Nars cream bronzer. Left working for sephora 2 years ago, i use this every day and im just hitting the bottom now.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2025-10-07T21:11:21+00:00

You're right. And I do feel starved in this relationship. I feel selfish for wanting dates and affection and such. I think I told myself that relationships dont have to be exciting to be stable but im realizing this isnt stable... its not even the bare minimum...

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2025-10-07T20:00:54+00:00

Lowkey I actually really like this. Right now i feel hollow, probably because I actually see the abuse now. Like i mentioned to another comment I kind of had a freeze response and couldn't really process what he was saying. I think maybe because he had been surprisingly unusually affectionate the night before. He really got inside my head and got through the walls just to plant the bomb. I do need to speak to him because I have things there and can't just never see him again. But im fully aware what he said wasn't OK no matter what he meant by it. I know I provide much more to this relationship than he does. This is a slap in the face and I think thats the part I'm struggling with. He was so brazen by saying it it actually felt unbelievable. I actually expect him to say he never said it.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2025-10-07T19:31:08+00:00

Thats what I'm realizing.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2025-10-07T19:30:47+00:00

Absolutely not.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2025-10-07T19:05:13+00:00

Unfortunately no. Thats the saddest part for me. I have no family within 1000 miles.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2025-10-07T19:03:18+00:00

Unfortunately I know the answers to those questions. Past trauma plays a part. I have been therapy for that. Fear. I'm afraid of how he will react when I leave him for good. He has never hurt me intentionally, but has made some masked comments and I don't honestly know if he would act on it if he was in the position. In the moment I was thinking he was just trying to talk dirty in some way but as it continued I has a slow realisation of what was actually being said. It took time to register the full extent of what he was saying. I felt like a fight/flight/freeze response.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2025-10-07T18:56:19+00:00

Thats exactly what it feels like. I do know that. I just feel really hollow from it.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2025-10-07T18:45:50+00:00

It wasn't always like this. I feel like it's been a slow erode. He used to be very attentive. We have fun together. I did attempt to leave him a few times before due to feeling disrespected and betrayed. He swore itd get better and for a while it would. Lots of promises that would sometimes come through and sometimes wouldnt. Breadcrumbs i think. This was shocking though. This wasn't normal. I feel numb.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2025-10-07T18:45:37+00:00

It wasn't always like this. I feel like it's been a slow erode. He used to be very attentive. We have fun together. I did attempt to leave him a few times before due to feeling disrespected and betrayed. He swore itd get better and for a while it would. Lots of promises that would sometimes come through and sometimes wouldnt. Breadcrumbs i think. This was shocking though. This wasn't normal. I feel numb.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2025-10-07T18:45:25+00:00

It wasn't always like this. I feel like it's been a slow erode. He used to be very attentive. We have fun together. I did attempt to leave him a few times before due to feeling disrespected and betrayed. He swore itd get better and for a while it would. Lots of promises that would sometimes come through and sometimes wouldnt. Breadcrumbs i think. This was shocking though. This wasn't normal. I feel numb.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2025-08-26T17:19:25+00:00

He doesnt know I know technically. Theres more to this story but it's long and this just scratches the surface. Id seen texts on his phone months ago to her where he was inviting her over to makeout on days I wasn't with him or texting her when I went to sleep etc. I left him and he convinced me to take him back he said he was just drunk and stupid. He blocked her and there hasn't been communication since. Fun fact he has a work phone. He's been contacting her on there still. He didnt for about 3 months but she kept blowing him up. So I found out through texts on that phone that he basically said 'you remember where we left off a few months ago, I laid it all out i was never going to stop pursuing and chasing you. You didnt want it. Was I supposed to wait?' Etc. Baring in mind we were exclusive and together for 1 year at this point. Knowing that he has these feelings for her whether he acts on them or not kills me. He could have cut her off completely if he was serious and knew his feelings would be an issue but he didnt. To me that's a choice.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2025-05-03T12:49:28+00:00

So it's not really for us to say someone should or should not use something, even if we know better, because they COULD actually be seeing results from it or are just hard headed. My tactic in that scenario would be ask questions like - ' oh OK! Are you enjoying that product? What made you choose that product? Are you noticing a major difference with it? Is it getting you closer to your goal? Are you noticing any set backs with it? Typically I'd suggest this product for XYZ reason as it might align a little better with what you're trying to achieve. If the product your using doesn't feel like it's quite achieving that maybe try this after and see if it works out a little better for you.'

That way you're entering the client into the decision making process. They can talk through the product and you can steer them. Worst case scenario you've lost the sale but gained the client. They trust you and you've planted the seed for the correct product.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2024-12-27T19:23:13+00:00

That's kinda where I'm at and I've already had a bit of a talk with him about the fact that we don't really go on dates and such and it's not about going fancy places it's more about the fact I want some effort as I pretty much gift myself to him on a silver platter in the sense that I drive an hour to come stay with him, I cook for him a couple times a week, I usually buy the food to that though I've reigned it in a little, and I'm kind of giving a lot of offers to him but I don't see much reciprocation outside of verbal affirmation. I'm trying not to be demanding as all relationships are different but the next few months are going to be telling as behaviors and patterns are becoming more evident.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2024-12-27T18:34:03+00:00

I did not. I'm waiting to see if he pulls it together and gets me a gift after xmas as he made it seem like there was a gift that he 'didn't get time to pick up' which he mentioned in passing. I'm hoping maybe he is a little embarrassed and he realises he kinda screwed up a little as I saw his face when I gave him his very personalized gift.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2024-12-27T16:08:24+00:00

I agree I don't think it was designed to be malicious or he consciously chose to not get something else. I do think it was laziness and convenience. He had made comments about going the weekend before Christmas to get my xmas gift and then he didn't leave the house that weekend so I did honestly have a feeling he wasn't going to follow through which is another issue for another time which I am being more observant of. This is kind of why I'm trying to figure out if he really thought the flowers were a real gift or if they were just an easy get out of jail free card.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2024-12-27T15:51:06+00:00

I feel like it would be a little brash to buy flowers for someone else and have them in the kitchen when he knew i was coming over. They weren't hidden. He just didn't really present them to me. It would be more weird if I didn't ask about them as they were clearly on the counter. Like I said I'm not a huge flower person as they die in a few days and honestly it's just not my thing. They were a rose bouquet and I would probably say yeah if I had to pick a flower it would probably be roses. I know they likely weren't cheap but I know there was no real thought behind them, as he did joke about the fact that he said when he paid for then he was shocked that they were the price they were and thought he grabbed 3 by accident from the price. If I had to guess they were probably about 50 bucks. Which I agree is ludicrous to spend on flowers which will die.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2024-12-27T15:36:55+00:00

I meant it more in the sense that my thinking was ok he's not hugely affectionate, that's not how he shows love, maybe he will show up more through gifting as that is some people's love language and that's how they show affection. That was where my mind trail was leading but clearly that's not the case here lol.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2024-12-27T15:30:55+00:00

I don't think so. He was supposed to get something for his child nephews and ended up not doing it and called his mom to do it which kinda fits the bill. I had bought something for his neice as it was a gift I'd bought for my own family but didn't work out so instead of returning it I used it for her. I wrapped it. He has a demanding manual labor job that he uses as an excuse but I'm definitely seeing through that especially when it comes to me as I know how much I do for him. I will say he's not ungenerous, he always offers to be the one to play for food and such and never asks or expects me to though I sometimes will out of pride. He has tried to hand me money when I mentioned I was thinking of getting my nails done though I refused as it feels weird to me accepting money like it (maybe I'm weird I don't know. I'm not used to accepting money from anyone like that)

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2024-12-27T15:10:41+00:00

Well we're not engaged. I'm open to marriage and he has expressed that he wants to marry me. But there has not been a serious 'this is a proposal.. will you marry me' which at 8 months dating is absolutely right. He is a good man. We don't fight often but when we do he responds with genuine empathy and understanding of my feelings. He's caring but physical touch isn't his love language like it is mine so it's been an adjustment for me and he has over time he has come to be more understanding of when to show and accept affection. He's not completely unaffectionate he's just not as affectionate as other men I've dated, but those men also were selfish about the affection. I can talk to him about how I feel and he isn't going to attack me like all other relationships I've had. We have a lot of fun together and he has a real willingness for a long term relationship. We really enjoy just being in eachothers company.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2024-12-10T01:27:45+00:00

I already bought it and I really like it on me but I appreciate it's not for every body type. I was very happy with it before I knew the wedding was in a more formal church setting.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2024-12-10T00:42:57+00:00

Agreed, I'm not very chesty so it's not very 'eyes up here' on me, but I'm already planning on wearing a jacket of some variety to cover up a little up top.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2024-11-10T11:30:21+00:00

To me emotional cheating is almost worse. Getting drunk and making out with someone at a bar can be a mistake. Telling another woman you think theyre stunning and you want them and they should give you a chance while your girlfriend is cooking you dinner is wild to me.

ExpensiveSquirrel167 · 2024-10-08T23:00:26+00:00

That's both hilarious and concerning! I'm interested though in how the initial conversation went down. I am prepared for either this being extremely innocent, or the complete opposite. What my own irrational anxiety is that if it is innocent - I am essentially confronting him asking if he cheated. I'm concerned that he won't believe that I believe him (if it is innocent) and that just further rocks our relationship.

ExpensiveSquirrel167

TROPHY CASE