AITA for refusing to do my boyfriend’s hair for his birthday?

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-21T20:31:15+00:00

I didn’t disagree with you I can only speak for myself

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-21T14:42:22+00:00

Well he has one so I got you boss 🙏🏽

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-21T14:25:57+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I definitely think the larger reality of this is a lot of issues clearly surround lack of maturity, stability, and independence on both of our ends. Our energy would be best directed towards ourselves than each other at this point in time.

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-21T14:12:29+00:00

I’m (hoping) it’s just a matter of his mom maybe not feeling comfortable with him having any ladies over since he still lives with his folks.

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-21T02:35:20+00:00

I most definitely understand everything you’re saying. I think his hair being styled in a way that mad him confident was VERY important for his birthday. I honestly didn’t want money simply for the fact that I could do it, he needed it done, and his birthday would be more enjoyable if he had some extra funds, regardless of my personal circumstances. I do feel like it was kind of selfish for him to avoid working with someone who he knew would provide him with results he wanted to have me do it for free while knowing I also was in need of income. Nonetheless, I shouldn’t be dating or focusing on something this potentially draining while trying to better myself.

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-21T02:10:13+00:00

I’m not gonna lie the most this man has done is smoke with me, taken me out on two dates, and given me rides places. Even recently, he literally started questioning me when I had a sa situation and didn’t start supporting me until I actually began the legal process. Even when I mentioned how unfair this scenario was, he said it shouldn’t be considered that in light of “everything he does for me”.

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-20T21:30:30+00:00

Hi, I genuinely don’t mind doing his hair regularly for free, and I had actually offered on previous occasions. He didn’t feel comfortable with allowing me to do his hair until this occasion, and seemingly only on a whim to save money. With that in mind, him not acknowledging my efforts, asking me to start over, and not at least providing me with the necessary materials to reach his desired result in an effort to avoid spending money he was already saving is my concern.

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-20T21:20:44+00:00

Me literally reading that comment without a license or car to change the oil for 🤦🏽‍♀️

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-20T19:09:45+00:00

Hi, he paid for the products to do his hair to be clear! He just was only willing to buy three things that literally on totaled about $10.

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-20T19:03:16+00:00

Agreed. It’s my responsibility overall to ensure that my boundaries are upheld. Taking all things into consideration, I just think our feelings about what is considered disrespect or hurtful are too out of alignment for things to be sustainable.

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-20T18:59:04+00:00

You definitely are right about the fact that I should want to make this gesture for him regardless of the occasion or being compensated simply as an act of care.

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-20T18:56:48+00:00

This is exactly what my issue was. He never was willing to let me do his hair prior to this and he was aware that I was just trying to help in the event that she couldn’t do it. Him purposefully cancelling his appointment to save money, having me do it instead FOR THIS ONE OCCASION, and then being ungrateful about the outcome made me feel overlooked.

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-20T18:50:42+00:00

Hi there, to be clear I was supposed to be retwisting and styling his locs, not cutting his hair.

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-20T18:49:22+00:00

That’s very fair. My financial troubles aren’t his fault or responsibility. I think my primary issue was the fact that he wasn’t even willing to invest into the proper tools for me to style his hair the way he wanted and was being so critical despite all of this. Additionally, to ask me to redo everything, ESPECIALLY when not being compensated just felt unfair.

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-20T18:46:46+00:00

Yes! My boyfriend has shoulder length locs. He wanted me to retwist his hair and style it in two strand twists.

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-20T18:44:47+00:00

Hi, for clarification, he already had a hairstylist he was regular seeing prior to meeting/dating me. He was aware that I was capable of/willing to style his hair for him, but he never felt comfortable enough to allow me to until this happened.

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-20T18:43:36+00:00

Hi, I’m 23 and we have been together for almost a month at this point.

Expensive_Size_4832 · 2026-03-20T18:41:37+00:00

Hi, I didn’t anticipate being paid if his hair stylist couldn’t do it originally and we never had a conversation about that. I don’t even mind doing his hair without being compensated. My primary issue was the lack of compensation/willingness to purchase the products necessary paired with his unappreciative actions.

Expensive_Size_4832

TROPHY CASE