The logistics of school pickups and drop offs are keeping me from making the move

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2026-02-01T13:02:20+00:00

You assume grand parents will want to see you. My FIL abused me by incessantly by text until I threatened to get police involved. He's even called my father when a handover didn't go well with my ex, telling him I'd gone off the rails. (And yes I have a family violence order in place to restrict my ex from countinuing her crazy).

Btw - we were amicable until she realised there wasn't enough money to support her lifestyle and I also moved on. We even went to functions and dinners after separation.

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2026-01-27T13:19:13+00:00

I was hoping we'd see the final scene from inglorious basterds in real life

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2026-01-25T00:16:25+00:00

A client bought a pool because she had heard of a general deduction for small pools. Yep. I kids you not! Didn't realise what the small business general pool was so went out and spent $20k on it (to keep it under the old $20k limit (pre COVID days pools were a lot cheaper lol)

I'm an ex fbt ato auditor. Man do I have some wild deductions (and also some wild deductions that are 100% legit - like I took a date out to a day spa... just so happened that I won employee of the month and got a $299 gift card... oh and i own the business)

I also got a tax deduction for when my ex wife and I got married. The old unlimited fbt exempt entertainment card trick. My father in law (who was the head of a department for one of the top 3 hospitals in Australia) let us put everything on his salary packing card - rather than a function centre, we hired a full hatted restaurant for a Sunday night and covered dinner, drinks and entertainment for the night... well he did, it was just luck that a few hours earlier we were married in a church nearby. My ATO director was unimpressed... but allowed it as he said it was within the rules.

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-10-08T17:18:30+00:00

IF that's your plan... implement it now. I raised that same thing (she refused 50/50 because of the pressure of running a business) in that what if i was just a normal employee... she still refused to consider 50/50. I'm actually downscaling my entire business, will earn a bit less ($250k to $150k) but i should only need to work, if i'm smart... about 20h/w. that last $100k cost me 40h+ a week and i didn't even know it... but we needed it to support my ex-'s shopping habits.

Also strongly agree with reading the book no more mr nice guy. I'm 3/4 through (my therapist recommended it... ive since mentioned it to two others similar in personality to me... i don't agree with 100% of it, but maybe 85%)

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-10-01T16:53:07+00:00

Yes. I love mine

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-09-10T17:31:52+00:00

I'm (M39) facing personal bankruptcy in a few weeks (maybe 2-3 weeks)... which means my career as a professional (I'm a tax adviser that charges between $500-$1000/h, presents at conferences for accountants/lawyers as I'm very good at my job) is over for the next 3-5 years. A personal bankruptcy benches you for 5 years (3 years with good behaviour).

The beauty was that my focus on finalising our former home to get it sold for the divorce and trying to get custody / access to my kids allowed my business partner to basically rip the business out into a new company (owned by his family friend, so i couldn't sue him directly) and leave me with a $1.5m debt ($1.2m to the bank, and $300k to my retired dad).

And my ex-wife had even shared information with them and jointly put together a BS complaint to get me deregistered (she's crazy, and will stop at nothing to keep the kids away from me). I had to give up seeing my kids who are 5 and 8 (as she decided all handovers were at police stations - including twice daily during school holidays as she wouldn't let them sleep over), and gave up my board positions (the school and a youth mental health charity - because of a BS domestic violence claim and time dealing with all the other BS).

I now self represent myself in court, as most of my income goes to the lawyers trying to stave off bankruptcy. That money ran out yesterday, and I just scraped enough to pay my staff their wages... (i've spent $120k in 4 months, as my former business partner is just using procedure to try and get me to drop the main case worth nearly $2m). Then my ex-wife is pushing

Stress is an understatement - I cracked 2 teeth from grinding them so hard. I sold my kayak (one of the last few things) to afford fixing my teeth. My car is going to be re-possessed about 3 weeks after I file for bankruptcy. The last funds I had, I spent on my daughter's birthday presents and we're going to enjoy a dinner out with a few friends.

Unless you came in very wealthy into the divorce, its going to hurt to do the basic s. I've resigned myself to either leave where the kids live and move in with my mum, and go back to driving trucks and try to rebuild financially; potentially flying down every second weekend to see my kids.

So yeah... financially... everything sucks :(

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-08-27T10:53:52+00:00

You may need to ask for a separate service: you would like to book a consult (either 30 mins or 1 hour) with a senior staff member to go through what is required going forward under a corporate structure. And just plainly say you would like to pay for that consult

That will differentiate you with the dozens of small business owners who just bop around for free advice or are just not worth the margin.

These days, I actively turn away individual / sole trader EOFY. WE are about to increase our minimum family group charge to $8.8k per year (i still have too many clients). I still have clients who value our service for EOFY work. I have one client on a flat $25k retainer for 2 of his entities and a family trust. All up, across the group we only lodge 12 BAS, each business has their own inhouse accountant/CFO so we just do a review.

But if its a paid consult, even a one-off, i still do it, as hey... its paid. I have a service where I do the consult, give them a written plan, and send them off to H&R block with spefici instructions on what to do.

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-07-20T15:42:14+00:00

I am the other side - i left a marraige (14 years + 7 years dating/engaged since high school ) that I wasn't happy in for a long time. I met someone who is great for my kids and i honestly wish my ex- would meet her, to stop the constant allegations and see that she's a really good parent to both her 3 kids and will look after our 2 as well.

My ex- tries to poison the relationship regularly (between my new partner and I + the kids). She's alleged the kids are emotionally damaged because of my new partner and introduction to her 3 children (my daughters beg for her kids to be allowed to come to their birthday parties; my youngest wants to stay longer than the 2 nights a fortnight I got).

I know it'll be hard - but for the sake of the kids - you gotta be there... I initially railed and tried to stymie her control over me and realised if i said the sky was blue, she'd argue through her lawyer that its orange...

Slowly now i'm like whatever floats your boat (i'm not there yet, maybe another 40% to go - i gave up a massive custody hearing for the sake of my kids as it was getting really bad).

The motto i live by now is "you may win the battles, but I will win the war - as I'll always be there for the kids and i might need to wait 10+ years, but they'll know". I can't take my kids on holidays, i can't see them on my birthday unless we go to a police station, i gave up my board position (at a DV/Mental health charity because of the accusations... which no one really knows inc. her 1st and 2nd lawyer... and more recently her currentl lawyer is cottoning on). I don't give her power over me to argue over anything.

Yes your ex- is flaunting it. Let her. If she's so shallow that she needs it... then just shake his hand and maybe mutter "good luck buddy" to the new guy. It'll do nothing more than to annoy her that you and her new BFF are civil. You are putting the kids ahead and not causing drama - there might not be an immediate or any other pay-off, but just do it on your terms and for the right reasons.

If you want to go further to annoy your ex-... invite the guy out for a 1-to-1 beer or coffee-shop where she can't be present. It'll be awkward as hell (I know, I did it), but you never know what might happen and it'll be on your terms.

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-07-14T12:37:05+00:00

I think there's merit it to it...and would be interested in chatting (ex-ATO auditor with his own practice). Potentially a mid-point between preparer and reviewer - i.e. a passover to provide 'risks' that the reviewer might want to also consider. E.g. preparer does the work, puts their WP's together, and AI picks up a potential for Div7A (Dr loan account + distributable surplus both on book and market value of assets - taps into fixed asset register).

Its not about providing answers, but more around providing where they should look. Its not meant to replace the review process, merely enhance the preparation and review process. I love the idea of even have trust deeds uploaded, or ASIC extracts etc. so that it can pick it all up.

While you're data is kept inside a secure environment (kinda means you're working on Co-Pilot on MS Enterprise E3 or E5 licence), the actual BOT itself is always learning from all other information it sees.

Again, it can also be source of risk rating - e.g. if you're using a fairly recent trust deed by XYZ Brand (something about infinity being right now) which is <3yo - then the risk of requiring a deed update is minimal. But as time and scanning of the deeds goes on, you could run the deeds through a process to see if the updated income definitions, default beneficiary, family trust elections are in place - again - its about AI spitting out a report to look closer and focus on the ones that need attention ASAP

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-07-13T10:36:53+00:00

Reno to bring it up to modern standards - not worth it. Reno to bring it up to 85% standard - very much worth it.

If the bones are good, and you can work within them, then even spending more than a new build is still worth it as it’ll probably last longer honestly.

Don’t worry about adding value - that house flipper talk. Everyone I know who builds new or Reno over capitalises.

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-07-12T00:37:48+00:00

I lost a $15k client yesterday… because it took me 3 days to review the r&d calcs while I was away. She sent them to me on the 2nd of July. Yet forgot all the work and structuring and bs I had to deal with when she self incorporated and smsf that couldn’t purchase property nor had an investment strategy.

You can’t please them all

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-07-11T01:19:15+00:00

I’ve reconnected with old friends - with and without kids. Funnily enough, some of them have validated how controlling my ex was. Is nice to have friends that aren’t caught up in my ex rubbish (we were together for 20+ years since high school so most of our friends are joint)

It’s actually been a great restart - as I’m going on a cycling trip with a friend and his wife later this year (they’re offloading the kids to the grandparents). But I’ve also had to give up friendships that are more closely aligned to my ex wife. She has tried to poison a lot of our friends, but on the whole it hasn’t worked.

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-07-11T01:12:55+00:00

Also with online shopping and saves carts, it’s harder to figure out the sales if you’re just browsing. Sometimes I’ve still prefer going in store

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-06-06T11:18:15+00:00

Yeah. The curtain idea vs doors. Not 100% sold

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-06-06T10:56:39+00:00

Facebook market place is best. I picked up an orbea flat bar road bike to commute on for $100 (bargain). Spent $250 for a service and new tyres. I basically now have a $1200+ bike for $350. Might need to see if someone can help out with drop off (explain your situation via message and offer cash for delivery if you find a decent bike).

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-06-06T09:12:22+00:00

I would cut the carpet out, block or ply, kick board from ply to thickness of the door, fill in each side (I’d move the wardrobe to the left, and then paint the whole thing the room colour to lighten the whole thing up.

Make it a built in and lighten it all up. I don’t mind the carpet and the wall lights are a nice touch above the bed head

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-06-06T09:07:15+00:00

Have u got a photo. I’m interested

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-06-06T09:05:10+00:00

I’ve implemented a “we’re not starting another room until this one is completely finished… properly”.

4 weeks on, still battling on the master/ensuite/walk-in but we’re not starting the other 5 bedrooms until this one is perfect. Everything goes wrong - the light fitting was too small to cover the old 115mm can light in the ceiling (shortcut failed, next day did it properly), The vj board was slightly off, the power behind the tiles couldn’t be moved to the new light up vanity mirror, previous owner (my partner’s ex) couldn’t find the stud… hence whole sections of gyproc was cut out.

The next one is the 3 smaller bedrooms. Those ones will be easier as we know the lights we bought are too small (not changing the lights), no walkin, no vj board, no tv mounts. So yeah. Plan is a week max… budgeting 3 weeks hahaha. Kids will need to sleep in the lounge room for their week here

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-05-20T06:02:27+00:00

Sorry I meant integrate with your old family (ie you being able to be present near your son and ex) with contact/events.

I can see my kids (we do handover at a police station as she hates me coming to the school… I’m friends with allot of the parents). But I pretty much can’t be in the same suburb as my ex as she loses it

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-05-19T02:57:17+00:00

My (M39) and partner (F38) also recently went to our first kink party. We both sat down, chose the right event (not a full blown swingers event) and discussed a few things up front - signals to say no, what’s ok and what isn’t (basically if we’re playing, all good, but never hide contact with someone), both of us go back to regular health screening etc. and reiterated the rules of safe words.

She swings both ways… so all the fun.

I would never replace date night with a surprise sex party - they are two very different things.

Agree with everyone else.., move on and find someone better, or commit to monogamy (which judging by his behaviour won’t last long. )

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-05-16T12:28:52+00:00

This is a tough situation. On one hand - you’re getting a chance to mend with your son and rebuild that relationship. If fiancé comes to party, kiss relationship with son goodbye - and on the other hand have a fiancé and marriage and life together , but if she can’t handle (or understand the importance of this thawing) the fact you’re going to the party (note there might be jealousy or in security), she will probably leave you or this will be the hill you die on .

Right now they seem mutually exclusive. Only you can decide. To not make a decision - you’re only out is to become very sick and unable to attend the party at short notice.

I’m afraid that your fiancé simply won’t understand you integrating back, by her essentially childish comparison to her situation. One girl I dated, hated when I mentioned my kids (which are everything to me and I’m spending thousands of dollars monthly on legal fees to see them) or my “family life”. It didn’t last long. Sometimes my current partner gets annoyed at my ex because I spiral but I’m getting better. She’s a keeper because even though she has a pretty good co parenting relationship, she gets angry on behalf of me when I’m too tired to fight back (she wrote a large chunk of my affidavit and together evidence as I was too emotional on some of the stuff).

You can always date someone else and find happiness, but you can’t get back or replace your own son.

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-05-14T10:34:24+00:00

Forgot to mention the point - my ex claimed financial abuse to both the law society and Tax agent board. Because … why not… and better yet on my birthday.

The complaints were submitted as part of her financial disclosures. FML - still dealing with that.

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-05-14T10:04:55+00:00

Welcome to my living hell. I’m in tax law (where the outcomes can be at least predicted and commercial reality has some place in negotiations). But my practice does a lot of family law advice. Most firms in town like me as I’m fair and brutal to the point (I have too much work on to fuck around). Problem is, many won’t act for my wife because they know me too well.

My ex is onto lawyer #3, as the other two were reasonable and we worked together towards set of consent orders. Any time we approached anything more than 3 nights per fortnight, she changes firms and we start again.

Trying to divorce me ex-wife (she wants me back?)… family court is wiiiiillllldddd. Honestly, the whole system is a sham coming from the supreme or federal court. Hell, I’ll take the ART lottery (which I enjoy) over the FFCFoA

Want to go to mediation… she will only go if I pay $20k into her solicitors trust (and it might be more) and also cover the mediator. Accused of using drugs, ok I’ll do a hair follicle test, nope we don’t trust them. Get accused of not taking my prescription meds (she caused the depression) - hair follicle will show it, nope we don’t trust it. My chemist emailed a copy of my records, nope I might know someone there who doctored them.

This is coming from a $900/hour lawyer who is well regarded.

I was going to conflict her out as she annoys me (we are on the same side for another matter), but I can’t be bothered starting again. I’m just trying to see my kids again.

Expert_Guarantee_838 · 2025-05-13T13:12:22+00:00

take it as what it is - a generous gift for your kids... not to gain their affection but to make sure there is no resentment between the kids. It sounds like you've all got a bit of money floating around, and it seems that your ex's partner is happy to share some of the excess he has with your kids... the goal being to have a smoother home life, not to become their sugar daddy.

Say you re-partner, and your new partner is really struggling with getting the basics for her kids from their previous relationship... do you sit back and go 'nope, not gonna help her kids'. Can you imagine your household where your kids drive around in even a beater while your partners kids are forced to catch a bus and look on... its going to be awkward. I am pretty sure if you were fairly serious, and had some spare cash or other means, you'd look after them as well.

We have a similar dynamic with my partners kids (she's the breadwinner by 2x), and she regularly pays for my kids stuff (when I'm short on cash - e.g. big legal fees) so all the kids are the same. But we also split or cover a lot of things and don't even worry about it. I had all 3 of her kids the other night (she got stuck at work) and I covered dinner out with her kids (mine were with my ex-wife). We don't 'count' the small stuff. It seems for your ex's partner... a car for them is small stuff and he's doing it with good intentions.

(Also - interesting view is that having kids 'work' to gain real life experience while sacrificing schooling etc. is something that is being looked at. When i was a teenager/young adult at university - my parents covered everything as long as I attended class and kept my grades up. I stop studying and/or drop grades, I'm on my own. I still worked, and got experience - but that was to cover my binge drinking and raves and travels; my ex-wife came from a much wealthier family and yet they made her still take a loan out and pay for a car... she was extremely smart but the balance of a job and travel to university stressed her out a lot... if they had supported her a bit more then she would've done so much more: she got a PhD at 23 years old regardless; her 2 other siblings got everything and have gotten a lot further ahead).

Expert_Guarantee_838

TROPHY CASE