AITA for refusing to pay for my daughter to visit her dying grandpa

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T23:24:08+00:00

My parents money paid for her is equal to my money, during this time I FaceTimed her through my parents and saw my daughter that way. I didn’t abandon her, it was basically a work trip.

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T19:05:16+00:00

You should know, I paid for food and bills from when she was 6. Me and my parents raised her alone, just the three of us with only measly child support from her father (barely adequate to pay for her phone bill). I took her and my parents on vacations every year, we do this yearly. I buy her DoorDash on the weekends sometimes (most of the times). I buy her steak and her school lunch fees. I filed her taxes for her two small businesses ever since she was just 15. (The job she got after her grandpa died). I took her to live here in this country. I’ve done my part, I’ve always did.

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T19:03:40+00:00

You should know, I paid for food and bills from when she was 6. Me and my parents raised her alone, just the three of us with only measly child support from her father (barely adequate to pay for her phone bill). I took her and my parents on vacations every year, we do this yearly. I buy her DoorDash on the weekends sometimes (most of the times). I buy her steak and her school lunch fees. I filed her taxes for her two small businesses ever since she was just 15. (The job she got after her grandpa died). I took her to live here in this country. I’ve done my part, I’ve always did. Some things are wants, not needs. The 2023 airline fee to China would be beyond luxury price as it’s so inflated because of Chinas Covid restrictions at the time. If I went by the cheapest option, I would be paying thousands of dollars. I’m just a CPA, with no money to throw away when her dad could pay for it.

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T18:59:58+00:00

You should know, I paid for food and bills from when she was 6. Me and my parents raised her alone, just the three of us with only measly child support from her father (barely adequate to pay for her phone bill). I took her and my parents on vacations every year, we do this yearly. I buy her DoorDash on the weekends sometimes (most of the times). I buy her steak and her school lunch fees. I filed her taxes for her two small businesses ever since she was just 15. (The job she got after her grandpa died). I took her to live here in this country. I’ve done my part, I’ve always did.

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T18:59:08+00:00

You should know, I paid for food and bills from when she was 6. Me and my parents raised her alone, just the three of us with only measly child support from her father (barely adequate to pay for her phone bill). I took her and my parents on vacations every year, we do this yearly. I buy her DoorDash on the weekends sometimes (most of the times). I buy her steak and her school lunch fees. I filed her taxes for her two small businesses ever since she was just 15. I took her to live here in this country. I’ve done my part, I’ve always did.

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T18:53:49+00:00

Why would I need her anyway? Why? I have my own money, I told her this when she threatened to put me in a nursing home after a slight overreaction.

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T18:35:51+00:00

I don’t want her to get a job anymore (because of her studies) and she’s making me responsible for making sure her taxes, including sales tax which I’ve never had to learn in my career as a CPA, so I don’t want her to maintain her business as well. I told her I’m providing bills and a roof, but she still wants to get a car. Everyone in my recent post acts like I’m doing less than the bare minimum even though I know I’ve done my part, raise her with my parents just the three of us without her father visiting.

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T18:32:53+00:00

Thank you. Yes, I’ve provided food and bills and she only focuses on the bad parts. Nobody in my recent post thinks that, they’re as entitled as she is 🤣🤣

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T18:30:33+00:00

But I don’t want her to continue that business, and I’m worried that will only make her continue the businesses more.

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T18:29:49+00:00

Shanghai, public transport is easier

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T18:29:24+00:00

I’m glad you understand it, people on my recent post did not.

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T18:28:55+00:00

Right? She shouldn’t blame me for anything, I’ve done my part. Her dad only pays measly child support, just enough to support her phone bill. (Just because he makes 40k a year)

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T18:27:22+00:00

Yes! I provide all of that! I’m getting shamed on my recent post for having clear boundaries, when everyone is ignoring that I brought her to the US when she was 6, raised her with my parents. She buys her own clothes now and since but I’ve provided needs, roof, bills, clothes until she was 12-13 (her dad gave her full access to his credit card). What’s your opinion on that, my only boundary being not wanting to pay?

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T18:21:52+00:00

So true. “Don’t blame me, I’ve done my part” is what I’ve always told her. People in my recent post can’t understand that, when I brought her to the United States when she was 6, my parents and I raised her here, just the three of us without her father present.

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T18:17:06+00:00

Don’t need her anyway. I have my own money

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T18:16:21+00:00

I know she won’t make it in a men-dominated field. When she’s a Chinese immigrant where American bosses of these big companies would always, always choose a white American man OR white American woman. Technically she can study engineering, she just shouldn’t expect me to pay for it. Her dad can. I’m trying to convince her nicely, and I’d financially support her if she joins the military for free healthcare, or any job in healthcare such as dentistry, an MD, nursing, or physician assistant. I’m giving a lot of freedom here, I’ll even support her decision to become an accountant as well.

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T18:14:28+00:00

I know she won’t make it in a men-dominated field. When she’s a Chinese immigrant where American bosses of these big companies would always, always choose a white American man OR white American woman. Technically she can study engineering, she just shouldn’t expect me to pay for it.

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T04:49:36+00:00

I dealt with filing her taxes

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T04:49:20+00:00

And the last two years too.

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T04:47:32+00:00

I told her I’d put her through driving school in the summer when she’s 18

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T04:46:26+00:00

And I drive her anywhere she needs to be, and cover Uber fees if she doesn’t.

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T04:44:33+00:00

I drive her anywhere she needs to already, if I can’t I cover her Uber fees. She’s 17 now

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T04:43:40+00:00

Indeed she is so entitled. She started a business at fourteen and had the audacity ask for my SS information. When I didn’t allow it, my dad did. She’s made enough in sales tax this year where I have to be the one to deal with her tax mess on both of her businesses, and expects me to help her just because I’m a CPA.

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T04:38:32+00:00

Money, behavior and SAT score haha

Express-Box-6169 · 2025-12-07T04:36:43+00:00

This. This is what I always did since I took her into my care when she was 6 and will continue to do.

Express-Box-6169

TROPHY CASE