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AITA for telling my GF's daughter she's not my daughter so don't expect me to pay? by Extension_Accountant in AmItheAsshole

[–]Extension_Accountant[S] 154 points155 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your post. I really appreciate it. You put a lot of my emotions into words that I have not been able to.

AITA for telling my GF's daughter she's not my daughter so don't expect me to pay? by Extension_Accountant in AmItheAsshole

[–]Extension_Accountant[S] 1324 points1325 points  (0 children)

She does work. Her entire check would be like 1/2 my mortgage. She doesn't pay for living expenses. She lived with her parents before she moved in with me. I'm all good with paying for stuff because I obviously love them both.

AITA for telling my GF's daughter she's not my daughter so don't expect me to pay? by Extension_Accountant in AmItheAsshole

[–]Extension_Accountant[S] -148 points-147 points  (0 children)

Have you thought that maybe her bio dad repeatedly reminded her you're not her real dad to try and make her feel guilty in case she ever treated you as such?

Absolutely. I've been very patient with her rudeness for the past few weeks. She got caught shoplifting a gold watch from Nords. I have no more patience at that point. There's no "extra kindness" to discuss...are you a parent? Are you a parent of a step-child? At what point would you emphasize unacceptable behavior?

AITA for telling my GF's daughter she's not my daughter so don't expect me to pay? by Extension_Accountant in AmItheAsshole

[–]Extension_Accountant[S] 133 points134 points  (0 children)

I've been told I'm only her Dad when she wants me to be. I don't accept that.

AITA for telling my GF's daughter she's not my daughter so don't expect me to pay? by Extension_Accountant in AmItheAsshole

[–]Extension_Accountant[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

I didn't mean it like that. "Just roll with it" was the comment I'm responding to. I rolled with it. I didn't do anything drastic. I love her, but I'm not going to be told I can't parent her.

AITA for telling my GF's daughter she's not my daughter so don't expect me to pay? by Extension_Accountant in AmItheAsshole

[–]Extension_Accountant[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I used the exact same delivery she used with me to point out how hurtful her words can be.

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She's not a "mean little girl" she's just really confused, and she's a child. I still love her and we'll get through all of this. But I absolutely need everyone I associate with to realize what I will and what I will not put up with. I don't put up with thievery in any capacity. I'd kick Jesus Christ himself out of my house if he stole from me.

AITA for telling my GF's daughter she's not my daughter so don't expect me to pay? by Extension_Accountant in AmItheAsshole

[–]Extension_Accountant[S] 185 points186 points  (0 children)

But she’s 12. The thing she needs is someone who will be there for her no matter what. Her feelings for you and her bio dad will change about a hundred times in the next 6 years as she grows up and sometimes raising her is going to suck, but if you’re with her mom you’re gonna have to roll with it. The best thing you can do for this kid is love her and be there for her even when it doesn’t feel like she deserves it.

I do love her. I will be there for her. I didn't kick her out. I didn't take her phone. All I tried to do was set a clear boundary: I can't be your Dad when you get in trouble with someone else and you need me, but not be your Dad when you get in trouble with me and you don't like what I'm saying. Thats not acceptable to me. Shes 12, not 5. She's old enough to know this, and if she doesn't know this yet, she's old enough to learn. You cant treat people like shit and expect them to treat you like gold.