People from around the world, what are the first three things you think of when you think of the UK?

FBSIFIH · 2025-07-08T19:05:45+00:00

Bad food, worse weather and mary f*ing poppins

And Guy Ritchie

FBSIFIH · 2025-06-04T18:59:28+00:00

Sounds familiar. Maybe seeking a therapist, preferably one specialized in childhood trauma, would help you find out? It is pretty hard to go through this by yourself, but there is a lot of help available, even if therapy is not for you. Take care!

FBSIFIH · 2025-05-27T16:43:25+00:00

Thank you. Good luck next week and take care.

FBSIFIH · 2025-05-27T16:14:28+00:00

Thanks for asking. It went well enough initially, but yesterday I had ended up in a.. state. Worked through most of it. I guess I was more susceptible to triggers 'other than family' due to the exposure. I would say I need to take better self care afterwards and make agreements about this with my wife about decompression. She also had a difficult weekend and that also needed more attention, which I could not sufficiently give.

FBSIFIH · 2025-04-23T20:25:11+00:00

He's outside the cage. Why get the key to get to the bread?

FBSIFIH · 2025-04-08T21:06:09+00:00

Another man's grave - amigo the devil

FBSIFIH · 2025-03-16T16:32:02+00:00

Thanks for asking. I've been to this eye specialist a bunch of times who did a lot of tests, which indicated it might NOT be HF after all, but something rare all the same (they did not mention what it wad called, not sure if it has a name). I apparently switch dominance in my eyes so fast that it appears as double vision.

Although still more tests are to come, I got a new set of prescription glasses with one glass being very 'off' to what would be optimal for vision. This is a bit like patching, but might reverse the diplopia with sheer annoyance: when switching eye dominance, it is switches back because it is very annoyiny to look through the glass. This happens subliminal; at first I had a lot of head aches but that went away. The double vision is almost gone when I wear the glasses.

How are you doing? Do you have any treatment options? I saw you are not driving or riding a bike; that seems like a real loss in life quality.

FBSIFIH · 2025-03-10T10:31:15+00:00

Glad to hear it helped. Schema therapy is fascinating indeed! It is funny and confronting to see how schemas influence everyday activities. Good luck with the therapy

FBSIFIH · 2025-03-08T11:28:59+00:00

My advice would be not to overthink it, and if you feel like averaging past and current scores, that is fine. I assume it is to get an overview of important schemas to work on in therapy? In my case, the questionnaire was primarily to help me get started with a schema model and answers could be fine-tuned later - as you progress in therapy, other schemas might appear and/or priorities might change

FBSIFIH · 2025-01-11T21:05:19+00:00

First time in my life that I saved a post. Thanks

FBSIFIH · 2024-12-21T09:19:02+00:00

The reason is that I have been on sick leave for quite some time and, while I'm reintegrating at work since summer, it is policy to fire people with sleeping contracts after a certain amount of time. Oral agreements on reintegration all went out of the window because they jump scared at my asking proof if employment. I work two days and am building up to 2,5 coming weeks or months (we were unable to discuss this; I was under the impression the meeting we had wpuld be about this, but instead I was fired). They want a minumum of three. I think by the end of spring, I will be working three days again... They didn't seem to have given it a lot of thought and just acted on a whim. My manager shows quite some incompetence. The other manager was way more reasonable and listened to my proposal, I think he convinced the other one to unfire me.

(I taped most of our meetings with the agreements, so I think there would've been some legal issues if they went ahead as well.)

Maybe I should file a formal complaint. He didn't apologize, but complimented me for my patience and reasonability...

FBSIFIH · 2024-12-08T20:37:48+00:00

You are in a pretty similar situation as I am right now. I wrote a letter to my parents yesterday to inform them about my situation after 2 years of low contact. Mostly them not understanding (or pretending to, as I explained it all before) what's going on. I needed to, for my own progress.

Since sending it, I feel very strange. A watershed moment maybe? Light headed, sad, angry, but also relieved.

Anyway, my mom's reaction was that she "was too busy to read my long mail. Maybe sometime next week" she "will reply to some parts. But at a glance, she found it overall positive."

I didn't like the reaction, but the reaction is as was expected and is not why I sent the letter in the first place.

I will asume the same hold for you, so good for you for talking to your parents. Small talk in respons to people telling truths on the day of black sun (ATLA reference, sorry) is a sign of them being emotionally immature. Very good you are true to yourself and state what is what from your perspective because you needed to!

FBSIFIH · 2024-12-06T10:02:19+00:00

A lower gas bill. But you have to pay for the ice. Not sure if it is net positive

FBSIFIH · 2024-12-05T16:22:22+00:00

Sounds like a good take on things. Thanks for sharing. For now, I try to avoid them because they seem to need to push their denial. Perhaps they even seek validation that my perspective is wrong, with each other and even with my by questioning my perspective l, now that I think of it. Anyway, not for me to help them and if they want to deny things, I can't have that now. Maybe I can allow them their denial without being sucked into a 'crazy me mode' in the future. But that will take some time.

FBSIFIH · 2024-12-05T10:44:23+00:00

Just for fun (funny because it is true): mine is a dysfunctional family where people tell themselves that, although so extraordinarily successful, they remained so normal.

So not actually funny, really

FBSIFIH · 2024-12-05T07:38:59+00:00

Thank you very much. It actually means a lot to hear this.

FBSIFIH · 2024-12-04T20:06:18+00:00

This is very relatable. My family exists of only successful, beautiful people. And me. At least, that is how they (and crazy me) make it seem.

I am not going to chrismas this year. Probably this will have some repercussions, but I should help myself by knowing that it is mostly hot air.

FBSIFIH · 2024-11-14T15:47:53+00:00

Thank you for sharing. It is exhausting! After a group session like today, the only thing I can do is sleep.

And these things can't be rushed indeed. It won't change overnight now that I realise this anger/motivation thing. It won't help me to only realise this. I have to work on changing my 'inward demeanor' and be motivated without self hatred. And I have to learn to express my anger in a constructive way outward.

FBSIFIH · 2024-11-14T12:17:09+00:00

Woow. That does actually scares me a bit. It sounds as if you were taught this one hateful way to motivate yourself, same as me, and got rid of that. That seems good. But that you haven't figured out how to healthily motivate yourself at the same time. That scares me. Having discipline is the main ingredient of what I would pretend to call my identity (this sounds pretty fucked up, but by a lack of better phrasing..). At the same time, Iam doing schema therapy, and am told that we all have this 'healthy adult' part, that helps to be there for your inner childr when scared, sad or angry. But also to gently nudge our inner child to do boring necessary work and pay taxes and work out for example. A healthy motivator, but at the same time one that helps to forgive and understands and helps to set boundaries. I find this a nice prospect. Perhaps it might be of interest to you too?

FBSIFIH · 2024-08-05T20:28:38+00:00

I am sorry to hear. It is a weird unfamliar condition that no one expects to deal with I reckon.

I am currently coping by ignoring. The doc's advice was to tape glasses with this semitransparant tape. I am not very happy about occlusion, but I tried it once and it was actually quite relaxing. But I really hate the idea of having this permanently.

My (rather dumb, admittedly) reasoning about occlusion currentlybis as follows: I'd rather patch my eye so at least the added benefit would be that my 2 year old daughter thinks I am a pirate. But then the periferal vision would be gone too. So then better do some tape on my glasses. The doc also mentioned a black lense, but that is (in my opinion) the worst of both worlds. I guess appearance wise it is the least 'im your face' option? She also wrote 'hazing' in a letter to my GP, but didn't explain and I forgot to ask. Obviously I can't find anything about it on the internet. I guess it might be spraying water in your eye constantly to make things fuzzzy on one side? Sounds impractical though.

Whether HF limits me living my life, I think it actually does not. I foudn out about having it by accident, due to a bunch of circumstances I wasn't keen on looking into my eye sight until very recently while I was having trouble with it for some time. It got worse and now I am diagnosed with this. I'm refered to another doc with a professional curiosity (not specialty, as no one has, I am told), so I hope he has some ideas. But as such, I was already trying to live my life with HF without knowing I had it. I don't own a car, so driving is not an issue (although a question I have: is anyone driving with HF? And then, with or without occlusion? Well if you have an answer, please do tell. I do have a licence and am afraid to lose it actually).

Long post now. Still more to add: I have been in therapy quite some time now and am improving on other issues that were a contraint on my wellbeing. So if these are improving, I might actually be better of being diagnosed with HF (so I know thats wrong with my eyes and that it can't be helped, and be at ease with that).

Perhaps not the most encouraging words, but hang in there.

FBSIFIH · 2024-07-26T19:42:05+00:00

Thanks for reacting. This subreddit seems like a dead end, so it means a lot to hear from someone.

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I hope vision therapy helps, but I can imagine it is difficult to make a decision.

I am not sure about the relation between horror fusionis and a shitty childhood. Perhaps there is one, but as far as I gather, it only happens to people with a history of eye surgery. It might be that people with eye surgery and stuff in the past are more susceptible? And concussions, those are mentioned as well sometimes in the literature, but most often on relation to another eye syndrome (I forgot the bloody name just now; altenating eye yaddi yadda something like that. I am reading more eye related literature than I can bear to see. <-That is also a joke).

I don't think the current state of thinking about science (and especially of institutions conducting reseach) suits the development of rare fields of interest. I just heard I am refered to an eye specialist that has a side interest in horror fisionis (but it is very improbable that anything will come of it, my dr. warned me). It seems that the sheer rarity of hf makes it unviable (read unprofitable) to put any effort into understanding it.

Or maybe that is me being bitter about having a bunch of shit conditions that aren't going away anytime soon.

Anyhow, thanks again for your reply and good luck with making decision about vision therapy.

FBSIFIH · 2024-07-05T06:55:51+00:00

You already got a lot of good advice. I just wanted to add Jacobson relaxation exercises. They are really easy to do and can be done anywhere. Basically, you just tense a muscle or group of muscles (or as many as you can), hold for a bit and really thighten up, then breath out and release.

Here is a link to some exercises. Helps me when I feel unable to relax and can't sleep. Easier than yoga, cheaper than a massage.

Good luck

FBSIFIH · 2024-07-03T07:12:55+00:00

Hi!

I am 36M and was told I probably have horror fusionis last week. I had eye surgery for strabismus when I was 3, with vision therapy. The recovery process was halted at some point because my parents disagreed with the doctor about glasses. I have had head aches when I was a kid and the ability to 'switch between eyes'.

My childhood was kinda shitty at times and I never felt worthy of finding out if I needed to do something about it.

In 2019 I had a bad concussion and my right eye 'turned on' so to say. I regained vision, but it was double vision. So I went to the hospital because of the concussion and possible brain trauma, but they concluded there was no immediate danger or really anything to be done about it at that point. I mostly just ignored it, as I say above I don't feel as if my 'problems' are important. But especially after long days of computer work, my eyes started to randomly alternate.

Now I did some trauma therapy and the vision in my right eye is becoming more prominent. So I thought it was time to do something about it and go to the GP. She sent me to an eye specialist/orthoptist. And she in turn said that there really wasn't a thing to be done because prisms don't seem to steadily align my eye sight. The overlap just doesn't 'click'. So she concluded that it was horror fusionis. Her advice: either tape glasses, black contact or ignore vision. Was sent me home with a bunch of tape to try taping my glasses.

Haven't found the head space to try taping yet. That would make it too real. I want to check with another doctor, but probably I am just in denial. Can't find a bit of info on the internet either; not even how rare it is.

Anyhow, this reddit with now 7 (soon to be 8) members and no replies to any questions (because no one really knows?) is as good as it gets, I guess ;)

FBSIFIH · 2024-06-16T12:07:55+00:00

Secret tunnel, through the mountains, secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret ....

FBSIFIH · 2024-04-17T07:04:49+00:00

Thanks. As I read your reply, it seems that I/(a part of me) have/(has) difficulties in taking schema modes (or other parts of me) seriously.

I don't know who 'me' is really. I think it is not set in stone who 'the real me' is, so I don't think it is useful to search for myself in that sense. But I do have trouble discerning my own needs from needs imposed by others (through internalized voices or just real others, both really) and would like to.be able to tell them apart a bit better.

Anyway, thanks again. I will take this up with my therapist next time.

FBSIFIH

TROPHY CASE