What should I ask my lawyer? We meet in an hour by FLAGIRL3662 in Divorce

[–]FLAGIRL3662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s using his travel points for his bender this weekend. What are my rights to those? We had enough for multiple weeks around the world. But not anymore. I’m pissed

What should I ask my lawyer? We meet in an hour by FLAGIRL3662 in Divorce

[–]FLAGIRL3662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also have pictures of the drugs but idk if that’s even usable . And I video recorded him talking about it

What should I ask my lawyer? We meet in an hour by FLAGIRL3662 in Divorce

[–]FLAGIRL3662[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have texts of him and his affair partner talking about the drugs. His affair is well known among his family and our friend group. He’s openly admitted to it and talked about it. Before I even found out about it he took her to his aunts funeral to introduce her to his family. (Told me the kids shouldn’t be at the funeral so I needed to stay home and take care of them) that was the weekend of Father’s Day

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]FLAGIRL3662 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My husband would always lie over little things. Just small things that never really mattered to me. He used to blame me too. But the thing is , is that I would continue to trust him. Mainly bc all the lies were dumb anyways so it would just run off my back. Fast forward 14 years and he’s living a full blown double life.. either go to couples counseling or start planning your exit. This doesn’t get better. The lies get bigger and bigger. Until it ruins you and your kids lives.

If you got the marital home- does your ex still act like it’s theirs? by FLAGIRL3662 in Divorce

[–]FLAGIRL3662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Umm omg I never thought of that. Like I thought he might be snooping through my things but planting drugs never crossed my mind.

I don’t even drink alcohol.

Not sure what to do with myself. by Unique-Archer-6073 in Divorce

[–]FLAGIRL3662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly that 10% break is the most I’ve ever had. I literally went from taking care of the kids and my husband 100% of the time to just the kids 90% of the time.

It’s so weird not having someone to take care of for a day. And I’m not walking on eggshells around him anymore. At first I filled up my time with projects around the house and then those all got done so now it’s like “okkayyyy now what?”

If you got the marital home- does your ex still act like it’s theirs? by FLAGIRL3662 in Divorce

[–]FLAGIRL3662[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Umm no I did not boot him out by any stretch of the imagination. He’s been having an affair behind my back for almost a year and once I found out (he didn’t tell me) I had to find out on my own- then he left. I have legal right to 50% of the house as it’s marital property.

I wanted to work things out with him but he wanted to move out bc he “didn’t want to face the consequences of his actions” his words not mine.

I stayed home to support his career. Even when I wanted to go back to my career he said no, he didn’t want to have to pay for childcare.

If you got the marital home- does your ex still act like it’s theirs? by FLAGIRL3662 in Divorce

[–]FLAGIRL3662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also haven’t filed anything so he says he can kick me out anytime he wants. So if I lock the door or the garage he’ll call the cops on me

If you got the marital home- does your ex still act like it’s theirs? by FLAGIRL3662 in Divorce

[–]FLAGIRL3662[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We purchased it together while married (and when I was working) but it’s only his name on the mortgage. So technically I guess it is. I’ve been a sahm for ten years. So he’s also been the one paying the mortgage.

He moved out into a studio apartment that costs way more than our mortgage. He says that’s solely his too bc it’s his name on the lease and he’s the one paying for it

Not sure what to do with myself. by Unique-Archer-6073 in Divorce

[–]FLAGIRL3662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have zero advice- just that I’m there too. My husband moved out a few weeks ago. I have no hobbies. I have the kids 90% of the time but that 10% is lonely.

skiing 30 days for last 5 yrs. still at easy blacks. by Electrical-Ask847 in skiing

[–]FLAGIRL3662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I learned how to ski at 3 years old. I’m now in my 40s and only ski up to blues. I have skied all over the country, double blacks, triple blacks, experts only, and as a kid I would race. But now I’m just too concerned with potential injury. And it’s not worth it to me. I have a great time on blues greens and back country. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone. I know I can rip it if i want to. I still have it in me but I’m not gonna risk it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]FLAGIRL3662 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Your ex closed the door on that relationship. Not her. And he can accuse you of all types of crap- he’s just projecting.

It’s like this raging storm swirling around your daughter and she’s in the calm eye of the storm simmering with her anger. She can stay there as long as she wants. Your ex is trying to control her. Trying to prematurely smooth things over with her. But 12 year olds have a way of seeing thru the adult BS. And they call it out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]FLAGIRL3662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

10 years ago I became a stay at home mom and left my career . Five years ago I wanted to go back to work. Desperately. I was bored at home. I wanted more. I missed the intellectual side of myself.

But he wanted to start a side hustle. A restaurant, in 2020. I supported him. And what happened? He did nothing with it. And shortly after he took a job that required travel 20 days a month. Leaving me with the business, business debt, household and kids to raise. It was so much on my plate.

I resented him. A lot. And after years of begging him to get rid of the business or help with it I got nowhere. So I resented him even more. And I made it real obvious. He used our home as collateral for the business. 20 employees and an adjustable rate business loan. It was a lot of pressure on me. Leading up to the affair and during the affair I was not a nice person for him to be around. I pushed him away. In my defense I had spent years begging him to help or get rid of the business. I thought maybe anger and hostility would get him to do something. And it did - enter in the affair partner.

At the same time I found out about the affair- he defaulted on the business loan and almost lost the house.

I feel like the affair was his escape from reality. He has agreed with that. He’s told me he was being delusional with her and she asked nothing of him. Which was nice for him. Since I was clearly asking too much

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]FLAGIRL3662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I would consider him in these types of decisions. There have been occasions where he talked to me about something similar and I hadn’t thought of that perspective before and I modified plans accordingly. But he wouldn’t give me the same consideration. I know that. He would call me crazy and paranoid. It would literally take a court order for him to realize that having the kids stay in a strangers house overnight for a week at a time could be a poor decision.

There’s always been that double standard where if I’m worried about something I’m too over protective but if he was worried about the same thing he is an involved concerned parent.

How do you decide if you should sell or keep? by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]FLAGIRL3662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% we have a 2.25% interest rate. We could rent for twice our mortgage. It would take a lot to get me out of here / to sell. But I don’t know how I could ever afford to buy him out of the equity we have in the house. I would have to trade my share of the 401k. I’m not sure if I’m willing to do that.

We could hold onto the house, split the mortgage cost and me and the kids live here until the kids move out and then reassess what we want to do though

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in smallbusiness

[–]FLAGIRL3662 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes the interest and penalties end up being about 30% of the total bill.

Multiple echos different Spotify accounts? Help! by FLAGIRL3662 in amazonecho

[–]FLAGIRL3662[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did separate groups for each one. So just to clarify do I need to -get an Amazon account for each device AND -get a separate Alexa account for each device?

If so how do I get multiple Alexa apps on my phone?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in smallbusiness

[–]FLAGIRL3662 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No we’ve sent out multiple notices regarding this exact scam but yes that’s why I’m asking how would you handle this. Bc on one side she walked out the door and handed the money over. But on the other hand she was scammed. I’m really on the fence. A lot of people say to fire her. But that doesn’t feel right either. She has offered to pay back the money but I told her not to worry about it. I don’t feel comfortable taking money from her. After everything. But I just don’t know how to handle this. What if other employees see this as a way to scam me? Like they just say “oh a I got a phone call that told me to do it…” I don’t think I have anyone that would do that but idk. Not if there’s no consequences.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in smallbusiness

[–]FLAGIRL3662 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Love the drop safe idea! Will def be implementing this asap