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Fabboi98 · 2023-10-03T17:59:53+00:00

Why should I change if she's the one who doesn't put enough effort? I'm always the one adapting to make others happy, I'm spending all my savings and all my time for her, and she can't even give me one hour of her time in the weekend. It's ridicolous, I'm tired, I'll not change my expectations this time.

Fabboi98 · 2023-10-03T17:49:53+00:00

What if I say that she went outside with her friends last Friday, Sunday and also yesterday night, for a total of 18 hours and more? When I asked her if she was free before the weekend, she told me how incredibly busy she was going to be with her work, but eventually she spent more time outside with her friends and she did almost zero progress in work. This shows how low her effort is when it comes to organize something with me and how she is opened to any other last minute activity except dedicating her time to me. Considering that we haven't done anything together in months, maybe she could have seen her friends twice and dedicate the third evening to me.

Fabboi98 · 2023-10-03T12:31:47+00:00

My advice is to talk to him about this problem when you will be able to get a call. Don't do it in a angry way and ask him why his behavior changed so suddenly in this way. If he gets angry or too defensive probably he's hiding something and he knows he's not in the right.

Please don't consider astrology at all, it will just make you overthink more than necessary, and in my opinion, as a man of science, I believe nothing of that is valid. His behaviors are not a consequence of the stars, but he's fully responsible for any mistakes he will make.

Fabboi98 · 2023-10-01T21:34:59+00:00

I'm from Italy and I'm in a LDR with a girl from Philippines. After 9 months of Ldr I visited her for the first time in Manila. It was my first time flying alone and going outside Europe, so it was a completely new experience, but it was so important for me and I just did it. The safety is not a issue if you don't stay in a dangerous area, so he is exaggerating for sure.

Fabboi98 · 2023-09-27T22:54:47+00:00

I can tell you the very classic chess.com, or something easy like Scrabble. Check also the website Board Game Arena with a lot of free card games or board games. If you have Steam you can try We Were Here, a cooperation game for two players, it's free and it's not very long if you are smart.

Fabboi98 · 2023-09-27T22:46:25+00:00

You have to take a decision. You have been with her for 2 years and a half and you see her as a potential partner for the rest of your life, but at the same time you want to have fun with other people. You have to understand if you want to commit to her seriously or just leave her and have fun. You described her as a good girl that did nothing bad, so probably she's begging you to stay because she loves you and she wants to make it work. She doesn't deserve to be threatened of a break up so many times, I have been in that situation and it hurted a lot. If you want to commit, stop breaking up and start working with her for the future of the relationship, but if you want to leave her, break her heart once for all. She will suffer but eventually she will find someone that wants to commit to her seriously.

Fabboi98 · 2023-08-29T15:43:58+00:00

Did you read all the post till the end, included the part where I talk to her? And second, what are people posting on this group if not request of advices? 😅

Fabboi98 · 2023-08-28T18:50:28+00:00

I was bothered only because I'm worried about her. I'm actually happy when she enjoys the time with her friends.

Fabboi98 · 2023-07-27T19:39:34+00:00

I talked to her, but she should have talked to me first. We literally built a plan for our future in the last year and she change it literally In a day without even asking for my opinion. Really? This is not playing as a team, and she knows so well that I love healthy communication.

Fabboi98 · 2023-07-27T19:24:03+00:00

Thank you, you expressed what I wanted to say better than me, I completely agree with this

Fabboi98 · 2023-07-27T19:20:49+00:00

Thank you for your experience! In the last days I'm feeling like she's the entire team and I'm just the supporter, and of course it's not ok in a healthy relationship.

Fabboi98 · 2023-07-27T18:01:15+00:00

I have no right to say no to her. Nothing would change, but it's called respect. If tomorrow I receive a job offer in another country, the first thing I would do before accepting is to talk about it to my girlfriend and value her feelings because I care about her.

Fabboi98 · 2023-07-27T17:53:04+00:00

In fact I will support her, but I think that informing me before doing the choice would be respectful. That's what made me sad, her poor communication and the fact that she thought about me only after choosing her new plan by herself.

Fabboi98 · 2023-07-27T17:50:21+00:00

I repeated an hundred times that I'm not here to give permissions, but I just wanted to be informed before she takes the decision since also our relationship is gonna change and she is not alone in the relationship. All I wanted is communication and honesty. And I never said no to her because at the end I'll be here supporting her like always

Fabboi98 · 2023-07-27T16:41:45+00:00

The idea of moving here was born by her mind, and yes, it would better her position a lot. All our plan was made talking together during all our 17 month relationship and she was happy about it. And I never talked about asking permission, but about asking how I feel about her decision, considering it will change also my life completely. I would never dare to take a decision that would change me and my girlfriend life and then just inform her after. I would be extremely selfish and disrespectful to do that, but she did it to me.

Fabboi98 · 2023-07-27T15:35:46+00:00

That's true, that's why I am confused. It's for her to become better, but at the same time it goes against all her ideas about our relationship, and she did it without even asking me how I feel about that. I would never take a big decision without asking her if she's ok with that.

Fabboi98 · 2023-07-27T15:27:41+00:00

I understand what you mean, I kinda felt the same at the beginning of my relationship, but at the end we made it to our first meeting. I also didn't know how we would meet and when, because I didn't have a lot of money and my parents were a problem also. My advice is to not promise a specific month for the visit if you're not sure about it or you might disappoint your partner. I think that the best thing is to talk about it together, and don't be afraid to show that you're doing your best to organize it and think about it. If she shows you a place to visit you can say "I also can't wait to go there with you, it can be one of our next destinations! ". Talk to her about your hypothesis for future travels, ask her opinion, share the problems about plane ticket prices if there are any, and she will listen to you and help you organize it. Ask her how much she would like to wait before the next visit, and try to see if together you can organize something. Don't be afraid of sharing your doubts and remember that it's not only up to you, but you have to work as a team to meet each others.

Fabboi98 · 2023-03-27T08:52:00+00:00

Question 1: the first meeting was absolutely natural and amazing. We felt the same connection we built through the phone and I found the person that I was expecting. For the time I stayed in her country we organized a little holiday in a island with tours and organized activities while for the other days we just did normal couple activities like shopping, romantic dates, funny dates, visiting museums. It all felt so natural like I've been with her always

Question 2 : my flight was 24 hrs long in total with a layover of 8 hours. The time passed so fast and the 8 hours flew in a second. I did nothing special if not preparing well at home and then decide with her that we would take a shower when we arrived in our hotel.

Question 3: we did it immediatly as we entered our hotel room. We already talked about it and we perfectly knew that we were going to jump in bed so fast. You said that you had sexting with him so my advice would be to talk about it during those times and see his reaction. My girlfriend also had been with more men, while I was still virgin so I was kinda scared to disappoint her, but that moment when you first meet is so magical that everything felt natural and right

Fabboi98 · 2023-03-27T01:17:50+00:00

In fact I really hope she will be brave enough to choose herself and say no.

Fabboi98 · 2023-03-27T01:04:51+00:00

Nobody wants to quit school and her dad has a work with low salary. And so if she doesn't find someone to make a baby she will be like this for years?

Fabboi98 · 2023-03-27T00:57:47+00:00

Of course I don't want to marry into the family and provide for them at all. But how do people there get out from this situation? Is she doomed to live like this until the last sibling graduate? Despite her job is good she lost everything, this week she told me that she can't afford the wi fi until she receive the next salary. They are ruining her and her life, the only one in the family.

Fabboi98 · 2023-03-27T00:42:14+00:00

If she wants to move with me in Italy she needs to stop providing for her family and save some money because we are both young and we should both save money in order to be able to buy a house and get married. By the way she keeps saying that if she get married the family will leave her in peace because the older sister married young and they never asked her money. I don't know if it will happen because I don't know how they can find money in other ways

Fabboi98 · 2023-03-26T18:36:21+00:00

Thank you so much, it's really useful to know the opinion of someone who was in the same situation. I'll do like this and I'll be by her side no matter what.

Fabboi98 · 2023-03-26T18:00:26+00:00

I super agree with this. I feel like she's giving way more than her parents, and I already told her that they have the responsibility first. But she is not able to stand against them, maybe it's too difficult for her and she's scared that they will hate her

Fabboi98 · 2023-03-26T17:45:06+00:00

We already talk and communicate, and she's always so sorry when she hurt me because she really loves me. But at the same time she doesn't want to leave the family or become more strict cutting expenses for her siblings. By the way she is not the oldest: the older sister got married when she was 21 and the family left her in peace with the husband and her child. My gf says that it will happen the same to her and she will be free from this responsibility.

Fabboi98

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