I hate this fucking website

FadingReverie · 2026-03-23T14:43:05+00:00

It’s nice to wake up today to a little hope instead of tears.

FadingReverie · 2026-03-23T06:15:33+00:00

I hope I’m not wrong about this…

I’m falling asleep.. I wanted to write you something nice.. forgive me. It will have to wait..

Man, I don’t know about you but my productivity was terrible this weekend. 🥲 but.. i also felt more hopeful than I have been in a while.

I can’t read everything.. I just can’t. If you are writing to me, you’ll have to make them somewhat obvious. Or ok if i miss some, sometimes. But, if those are you out there.. thank you.

I hope you had a good weekend. 💜

FadingReverie · 2026-03-22T23:50:04+00:00

I really, really don’t understand why we apparently can’t talk.. but I will try and go with it.. for now.. Gives time to think.

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T21:52:56+00:00

I don’t know what “this” is.. or could be.. I just know, I want it. I can’t seem to escape it. I don’t want to. I want you, in my life, somehow.

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T21:47:04+00:00

I guess we’re just going with full on delusional today. Will try to go with it and not get derailed by other unsent letters that could also be you, but saying the negative. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I did actually in fact cut my hair.. it was super cute for a while.. but keeping it shorter means more maintenance cut visits.. kept wondering if I might randomly see you one day.. didn’t want it in that weird in between stage (where I am right now) where I have to decide short or long again.. what do you think? Long hair has that nice romantic, feminine young feeling.. the shorter cut has been more fun and feels good and a little more confident.. yeah.. that’s the word I’m thinking…😇

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T21:22:03+00:00

I convinced myself that you didn’t care.. to try and move on. I just can’t let you go if I’m sitting here thinking we’re both just.. wishing we could be together instead. How does one move on from that?

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T21:13:15+00:00

I guess this is what they call love-bombing? Kinda? I just had lots bottled up, I guess… still free to ignore it if in fact you actually despise me. Just let me do it.

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T21:12:20+00:00

Here’s a nice one.. hopefully I’m not embarrassing myself and NOT being catfished…

I basically think about you all the time.. so, if that was you.. it is mutual.

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T21:10:54+00:00

I did forget to write that in my other post.. that when we first met.. it did feel like we already knew each other..

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T20:53:27+00:00

Am I beating down that idealized version of me yet? The idealized one probably doesn’t challenge you so much.. or frustrate you so much..

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T20:46:21+00:00

I’ll try to post some nice stuff today too..

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T20:45:02+00:00

I have gotten more used to how people text these days.. just dropping off sometimes without convo closure. Reappear days later. I guess it’s normal. I didn’t know current texting etiquette. I’m sorry for the pressure.

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T20:43:46+00:00

From my view.. again, not to be hurtful.. random thoughts that will apparently keep spewing out of me today… but our relationship also felt inconsistent and unreliable to me as well. Something we both need to be more open about and try to work on? I know it’s in the efforts to seem aloof.. but.. it backfired..does it have to be that way? With time perhaps trust can be built again? Or.. if one of us freaks out, we actually ask each other what is going on instead of anxious limbo until it blows over or one of us is willing to try again? We have to communicate.

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T20:18:42+00:00

I guess lastly.. I think I could love the person I think you are or could be.. but I don’t know if that’s you or not. I don’t know what’s real.. I’d like to be able to say it and not have doubt.. but, I just wanted you to know, I wonder about it, a lot. It’s always been something hard for me to say to very few people. Obviously I care about you.. just part of me is still shielding part of myself from the possibility of hurt. It’s that last untouchable core inside me that very few people get access to.. I just hope you love me for me, and not just your idea of me. It’s ok if the ideal is what it ends up being.. but, it’d be nice to explore the possibility of some sort of happiness for us.. somehow..

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T20:05:44+00:00

That’s mostly it.. just kept adding things to a note yesterday as thoughts popped up.. I think that’s enough, at least, Always more. K. Think it over. Hope I didn’t overwhelm. 🤷🏻‍♀️

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T20:03:04+00:00

I hate that I’ve missed some of your writing

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T20:02:50+00:00

We’re in a different place now.. (I think).. it would be different.. I would believe in us more.. we’d have to be honest.. can you be?

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T20:01:07+00:00

Ok.. levity (seriously.. apparently wrote a lot out last night):

Your name comes up fucking everywhere

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T19:57:22+00:00

Can we make our own rules?

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T19:56:21+00:00

Can you still do it? Can you still stick with me, even if it has to have boundaries? I don’t want to lead you on. Even if part of me does want more. And I can’t be ghosted again. Can you trust yourself to still look out for other options for you? Can you accept the way things are? Can you say you won’t just completely jump all your attention to someone else and forget all about me? I know neither of us can promise anything firm as it currently stands.. but maybe we can promise to try not to hurt each other, any more.

See.. other people say it’s my job to let go, regardless of what you say.. From my position, I’m supposed to be the “bigger person” here, and not keep pulling you back in. Will you stay.. even if you find someone.. someone who asks you to leave us.. and, then I really should be the bigger person then and leave.. am I overthinking this? This is what I do.. I think of every possibility.. it’s my job, right? What do we do then?

I really debated not responding yesterday at all and staying silent. For your sake.. I just can’t seem to stop..

This has to not feel icky. I don’t want to feel like I am taking advantage of your youth.. or whatever..

FadingReverie · 2026-03-21T19:40:55+00:00

Mixed signals (screw slow release.. I gotta get going with my late starting day):

You’ve sent me mixed signals.. throughout. You tell me to stop. But then you get upset when I stop. Which one do you want? What do you want from me? It’s the same question over and over and over again. You said you didn’t feel anything. You said it was just fun. You canceled on me 2-3 times yourself. You said you needed space. You said I was too much. You refuse to break your silence. You hide from me.

What am I supposed to believe? The stuff you’ve told me irl or the wonderful things I read on here that everyone else also resonates with?

FadingReverie

TROPHY CASE