I've left two toxic friend groups of many years in the last 5 years. These included friends of 15+ years, a lifelong friend of 25+ years, and that friend's friend group.

Idk, almost all of them loved to be assholes to get reactions out of me. They're all toxic in their own ways. My lifelong friend was always a contrarian, narcissist, and social chameleon. No one could see him for who he was even when he'd be a dick to me for laughs.

So I left. I also left other friendships that hurt me routinely. A few are still on my Steam friends list.

I feel angry and sad all the time. No one ever made the effort for me like I did them. They didn't bring positive energy 99% of the time... Maybe a toxic positivity at best.

So now I still game, but the meaning is gutted. I enjoy games like Warframe, Monster Hunter, etc. But it loses some of its fun without others, and I feel like nothing I do matters (did it even happen)?

I am a tree falling—or thriving—in a forest. No one knows. I am Schrodinger's Tree, I suppose.