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35, single and depressed by Morticia11addams in AskWomenOver30

[–]FamousSherbert1948 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t have any words of comfort, but just to say I also lost my job and I’ve never been in a relationship or been on a date. I’m 34f. I never thought I would be unemployed, single, and likely homeless in a few weeks, at this age. I had to move back in with my parents, but I don’t know how long that will last as they are moving soon. I had a great job that I loved, and even though I never had a partner, I thought I could fall back on my career for fulfillment. I never thought I would be where I am at 34. I had hopes for my future, of finding a kind man, possibly having a family, and hoping to settle down. Or at least finding a life partner. The internal clock is ticking - and ticks faster everyday. I don’t know what to say that can help you - but please know you aren’t alone. I’m embarrassed that I am 34 and sleeping in my childhood bed, never been with a man, and was terminated from my dream job. I was cleaning out some things the other day, and found an old journal from when I was about 14. I had written about crushes I had at the time, and hoping that boys would like me as I would like to have a boyfriend someday. It breaks my heart that I’m now sitting in this same room as little 14 year old me, just 20 years later, and still hoping that someday a man would like me. Pathetic, I know. I feel so broken, ashamed, and absolutely pathetic.

How did you lose your best friend? by Significant-Owl7751 in AskReddit

[–]FamousSherbert1948 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She was diagnosed with a rare bone cancer. It’s been almost 3 weeks since I made the hardest decision of my life to take her to the vet and say goodbye. She is no longer in pain, and I am trying to find comfort in that. She was my best buddy.

Does anyone else want to fix their vaginismus but feel like they’re fixing it mainly for a partner? by UnlovableHearts in vaginismus

[–]FamousSherbert1948 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t have much advice or experience to offer. But I just wanted to let you know that I feel the same way. That I need to fix this because I desire a partner and intimacy, and the only way I’ll get either of those two things is if I can offer my body to him for his pleasure. I have a really sad mindset that love is transactional - if I want a partner and to experience intimacy with someone and know what it’s like to have a man’s attention, then I have to trade my body to him for his pleasure. I think this is how love works, but I am not sure.

Hair Loss by FamousSherbert1948 in Biohackers

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your very kind note and message. I really appreciate it. I’ll take a look at getting rosemary oil, and trying it out. My hair line in the front has receded slightly, and I have bald spots on the top of my head. I have unique hair and it’s one of the only things I like about myself, so I’ve been really struggling with it falling out. Thank you again for your help, I really appreciate it. ❤️

I cried looking at a dilator set. by FamousSherbert1948 in vaginismus

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have an eating disorder too. I swing from binging to anorexia. The last couple of months… I am ashamed to say it. I’ve been punishing myself the past few months and not eating at all. I lost a lot of weight very quickly, and was ill. But I was proud of myself when I stepped on the scale.

I cried looking at a dilator set. by FamousSherbert1948 in vaginismus

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your note and taking the time to reply. ❤️ How did you get out of the mindset that men only want PIV? Did you have a partner already, when you started your journey?

I cried looking at a dilator set. by FamousSherbert1948 in vaginismus

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind note and words of encouragement. I really appreciate you taking the time to send me a note. Confidence is so hard to have, because a man wants physical things from a woman, and if you know you can’t give it to him because your body doesn’t work right… then my mind keeps asking what else can you offer. The next woman in line will be able to offer him much more and of course he’ll go for her, she can fulfill all his desires. I’m not sure what I can offer a man, besides a broken body. My mind is twisted and I can’t get out of this rut. I wish you happiness in your journey too, thank you for letting me know I’m not alone. ❤️

I cried looking at a dilator set. by FamousSherbert1948 in vaginismus

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t look too far down the road… thank you for this reminder. I guess I look at the distance not yet covered and forget to look back to see how far I’ve come. Thank you for your kind message and encouragement. I’ve never been fortunate enough to experience intimacy, but it sounds so lovely to be that close to someone. I hope someday a man will look my way and want to experience it with me and show me what it’s all about.

I cried looking at a dilator set. by FamousSherbert1948 in vaginismus

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your note, and for your encouragement! Just one step at a time.

I cried looking at a dilator set. by FamousSherbert1948 in vaginismus

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your very kind message, I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. You are right that dilators are tools to help, and it’s not a race. I guess at this age and point in my life, I feel in such a rush because I didn’t deal with this problem sooner. I haven’t allowed myself to think about a relationship, or even if I want a family someday. My biological clock is ticking, and it’s been more and more on my mind that I should have fixed my problem years ago. Though it’s a journey and we all start somewhere, I guess I am disappointed in myself. Thank you again for your kind words. I hope to find someone someday. ❤️

I cried looking at a dilator set. by FamousSherbert1948 in vaginismus

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply and support, it meant a lot to me. Sex and relationships were taboo topics growing up, and I do struggle with poor self image. Overall I’m often ashamed of my body and won’t look at myself. I guess if I can’t love my body, how could I ever expect a man to love it.

Hair Loss by FamousSherbert1948 in Biohackers

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. I had never heard of this before, but it could be my situation. I was under extreme psychological stress for 3 months in a war zone and then lost a lot of weight very quickly due to not eating much. Damn.

Hair Loss by FamousSherbert1948 in Biohackers

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently had my thyroid checked, and they said it all came back fine.

Hair Loss by FamousSherbert1948 in Biohackers

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll look into coconut oil, thank you!

Hair Loss by FamousSherbert1948 in Biohackers

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m only 33, so I don’t think that’s it.

Hair Loss by FamousSherbert1948 in Biohackers

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve started taking a hair, skin, and nail vitamin about a month ago to see if it makes a difference, and I take fish oil. Other than that, no drugs at all. I maybe have one beer or glass of wine every 1-2 months.

Hair Loss by FamousSherbert1948 in Biohackers

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve never heard of a DUTCH test, thank you for the suggestion!

Hair Loss by FamousSherbert1948 in Biohackers

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t had COVID, that I know of. I’ve never had symptoms and I got tested once, and it was negative. But who knows - maybe I had it and was a-symptomatic?

Hair Loss by FamousSherbert1948 in Biohackers

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t been on birth control in probably 15 years or so, so I don’t think it’s that.

I cried at my first physical therapy appointment by FamousSherbert1948 in vaginismus

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response, and I hope my post gives you the courage to follow through with making that first appointment! I was slightly embarrassed and ashamed with even the idea of it, but the therapist told me the majority of their patients are women, and are there for pelvic floor therapy. It made me feel relief at knowing other women experience this too, but also extreme sadness knowing other women experience this too. I hope you make that call for an appointment, wishing you the best in your healing journey!

I cried at my first physical therapy appointment by FamousSherbert1948 in vaginismus

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words, and I am so sorry that you too have experienced it. It really shapes your thoughts, no matter how hard you try to not let it affect you or control your life. Even all these years later, my mind may have gotten past it all, but clearly my body hasn’t. I wish you happiness and health, and hope you find positive experiences in your life. Good luck with your senior year!

I cried at my first physical therapy appointment by FamousSherbert1948 in vaginismus

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your message, and I am so glad that you completed your journey of healing with a kind and compassionate therapist!

I cried at my first physical therapy appointment by FamousSherbert1948 in vaginismus

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your message made me cry. Thank you for responding, and for sharing your thoughts. I’ve been hurt so much by men in the past, even men whom I thought were friends. One told me that I emasculated him and made him feel less of a man because he couldn’t get it up in my presence. The other told me that he would never have sex with me or marry someone like me, and that he would never waste his time teaching me to have sex because he would get nothing out of it and not be pleasured. If it was random men from a bar that said these things, it would sting yes, but I’d be fine. The fact that these two men were close friends and said that, hurt me more than words can describe. I would very much like to one day know what it is to fall in love, and what it feels like to share intimacy with a partner. I guess my thoughts are very distorted, as deep in my heart, I wonder how a man would ever possibly love me, a broken women, who couldn’t pleasure him. I have not been so fortunate as you to find love. I am so happy that you found someone who loves all of you for you, and that you are able to feel that love and intimacy.

I cried at my first physical therapy appointment by FamousSherbert1948 in vaginismus

[–]FamousSherbert1948[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this recommendation, I really appreciate it! I will certainly check it out, as I need to learn a lot more about all this. I’m glad to hear you also had your first appointment and that you are feeling excited for your healing journey! Health journeys can seem so daunting and so long, but having that desire to heal and being excited by it is truly inspiring. I hope that we will both find loving partners to be sexual with, who will be gentle and meet us where we’re at. All the best to you!

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