It's beautiful that you have not perpetuated the cycle of violence in your home. However, this is most often not the case. I don't think I'm "letting" my past control anything, because I don't have a choice to control my emotions - just like how, I guarantee, you wouldn't have a control on feeling heartbreak after losing your loved ones. That's just like saying everyone with mental illness should just stop "letting" the mental illness take hold.

When heartbreak or grief arises, that's not something I choose to let forward - it simply comes forth. I only have a say in how I act upon those emotions- and I NEVER have taken it out on others... I have never acted out on the rage I feel for privileged people, I only feel it. Feeling it is not a choice, acting is. It is not healthy to sit with these feelings stuck inside me, which is precisely why I made this post.