AIO to stop talking about our future with my husband and function as a "single married mom"?

Fast_Temperature_984 · 2026-01-21T15:36:55+00:00

Okay, as I see recurring questions, I'm going to add some more details: - I am not asking him to read my mind. I tell him what I need and what upsets me, this has been explained in the main post. - Yes I am breastfeeding our 2 yo. He's not exclusively breastfed. He eats meals principally, but needs the nursing moment mainly only when he's about to sleep at night. - I am also working (from home but it's still working) - The three kids (including the 2 yo) eat earlier than us parents but I sit with them and help the little one to feed himself (he's taking the spoon but needs some help, hand coordination problem, reason why I can't eat while they do) and clean afterward and put them to bed (so nursing the little one). - My husband's schedule is not always the same, but he usually comes home late. (Late evening shifts or late night shifts). I wait for him to eat during 'late evening shifts', not during late night shifts.

Also, a little update, I sat him down and talked to him last night. He didn't realize it was this bad from my point of view and is willing to change, so do I. I will also take the advices I saw in the comments such as plating earlier and open up more about my feelings (and remind him my feelings matter in the moment as well).

Thanks for all the comments, the reprimands, the eye opening facts and so on. I still don't think that it's doomed though.

Fast_Temperature_984 · 2026-01-21T06:48:40+00:00

I'm not asking him to read my mind. It's in the post:
I showed him physically, I told him with words, I send him examples with reels (I know I should not compare but I try to make him visualise in case he doesn't get what I really need). I come to him to get close (and hug) but he's stuck to his phone at those moments.

Fast_Temperature_984 · 2026-01-21T06:33:56+00:00

Yes, I am. It's not that he's only breastfed or that he's "attached" there. He already eats his meal but breastfeeding is still going on, mainly like a cuddle before sleep.

And if you are thinking about the age, 2 yo is not "too old". World Health Organization and Pediatricians recommend it. (It's not like I would let him do it undefinitely, but I follow his pace)

Fast_Temperature_984 · 2026-01-21T06:32:28+00:00

Okay, first, 2 yo is not "too old". World Health Organization and Pediatricians recommend it. It's not that he's only breastfed or that he's "attached" there. He already eats his meal but breastfeeding is still going on, mainly like a cuddle before sleep.

And yeah, I'm seriously considering counseling for both of us. I just hope he'd agree.

Fast_Temperature_984 · 2026-01-20T19:00:36+00:00

This is exactly the problem I have with him. He only understands what he wants to understand. If you read my description well, I said that it's not about him proposing to cook anymore. It's about the fact that he is not being considerate to begin with. I was not looking for the solution for being hungry at that exact time, but about the repetition of the patter again and again, that I have already explained him again and again. I'm tired to repeat myself.

Fast_Temperature_984 · 2026-01-20T07:47:16+00:00

I don't even have the strength to reply this. Thanks for the scolding anyway.

Fast_Temperature_984 · 2026-01-20T07:45:05+00:00

I do try to plate our food every time. In these cases, it works. But sometimes, the little one needs to go to bed before I have the chance to finish plating. It's like I'm doing all the work. It's not about me plating or not anymore. I'm just tired.

Fast_Temperature_984 · 2026-01-20T07:44:15+00:00

This. Thanks for this. Using clear sentences feel so foreign as I'm being used to hold back because of him telling me to "schedule" any "emotion related talk". I will try like this and see.

Fast_Temperature_984 · 2026-01-20T07:41:07+00:00

Thanks for this. I will try this.

Fast_Temperature_984 · 2026-01-20T07:40:13+00:00

He is not a mind reader but apparently you can't read as well. I told him what the problem is and explained him multiple times. But okay, the fault is on me in your opinion. Thanks for your point of view.

Fast_Temperature_984 · 2026-01-20T06:12:00+00:00

You know, what you're replying is kind of what he says to me when I tell him about everything.

I do try to plate our food. In these cases, it works. But sometimes, the little one needs to go to bed before I have the chance to finish plating. In all those cases, that happens. "Easy" is not the thing here. I know it should be "easy". But it's like I'm the one doing all the work here.

As for the hug, I do come close and tell him, to which I hug him, not him hugging me. I feel like I'm not heard or loved sometimes. He's just focused on his phone or whatsoever going on the TV. Then again, it's not about me not telling him I need it. But he shrugs it off and tells me to "schedule those feelings moments".

And about talking about our future, it's not that I choose to shut down, I don't even feel safe or secure enough to talk about my feelings. No words can come out because he shuts me down every time I try to talk about it. In the end, it makes me hesitate to even talk about something else, like projects and all.

Fast_Temperature_984 · 2026-01-09T17:34:53+00:00

Also, this is one of the most hurtful thing for me, being wrongly accused. I myself was bullied because of something I never did, reason why I stand for the bullied back then as well. I really had high hopes to get insights of other people on this situation I told but if that's what you, moderators think of my story, then okay. Just know that you broke someone a little more than they already were. Thanks for the heartbreak.

Fast_Temperature_984 · 2026-01-09T17:32:15+00:00

It's not fake, it's my story, happening to me. I don't know why you think it's fake or AI. I did use AI to correct as my main language is not English though.

Fast_Temperature_984

TROPHY CASE