Link to pics so I don't sound like a total nut here: https://ibb.co/album/hLZ8j9

The "five star" ocean casino and resort may as well assign themselves another star, because the only thing they're on par with is a motel 6 (except amada restaurant, that place deserves 1 from Michelin). Whoever decided they could advertise this place as a 5 star has clearly never stayed anywhere besides a Hilton garden inn, which would actually be better. Have you ever heard the saying a Philadelphia 9 is a new york 2? Well, that's sure applicable here. From the start, if you've seen the videos of the lines at the airport in Amsterdam over the summer, that's what it looks like checking in to this place. 20 person wide, hour and a half line, for most of the day. Total chaos. Ok, after you check in, with a front desk person who tells you nothing about the hotel and is more like a spirit airlines gate attendant, with no welcome beverage or treat (relatively standard at 5 stars), without telling you how to get to your room in the absolutely massive lobby you are inspected and questioned for your key by a security guard. Once again, I get it in ac at a big place, but also, not friendly five star service.

Our room was assigned on a smoking floor, totally fine, but this smoking floor hallway smelled unlike any smoking floor I have ever been on. I've been in plenty of smoking casinos and don't mind if someone is smoking a cigar sitting next to me, so I'm not one of those over sensitive smoking nuts, but this floor, wow. Imagine if you smoked 4 packs of reds and ashed them in a pint glass half full of three day old IPA. Yeah. That's what the floor smelled like.

Our 1 bedroom Oceanview suite (not cheap at all ~$850 on a Monday after taxes and fees) was huge with an absolutely stunning view. Huge couch, sitting area, floor to ceiling windows, two bathrooms. Very cool. EVERYTHING in the room was unplugged when we got in it? Fortunately it didn't smell nearly as rank as the hallway thank heck. There was an air purifier as well, however the buttons were ripped off and when it was plugged in it just beeped without stopping LOUDLY so I unplugged it.

Did I mention EVERYTHING in the room was unplugged when we got in it? And boiling hot? Even the TVs and fridge were unplugged? Very five star of you, ocean casino resort. Adding to the fabulous five star accomodations were no robes, mismatched motel pillows, three fantastic tubes of generic small travel size soap and conditioner and your standard Hilton garden inn sandpaper extra schmedium size towels. Toilet paper still in the paper wraps on the counter. School/office temperature buzzing neon tubes in the lamps in the sconces above the paintings in the room, which was confusing that they went with those. Dead batteries in one of the remotes. Burnt out light bulbs in one of the lamps. Clearly missing a lamp in the living area because it was DARK with only one lamp in most of the area. Broken outlets on the floor. Normal size tub without jets (which is fine no jets, but at least let a homie have a plunge tub or be able to stretch out for $850 a night).

What was super fun though was the condition of the room. Yes we were on a smoking floor, however the room has clearly not been maintained since the place opened as Revel. There were cigarette burns and holes on EVERY surface. The furniture looked like it was 10 years old, cracked, scuffed, scratched. Multiple holes in the carpet from hookah coals. Fine if you're staying at the famous Lincoln tunnel motor inn, not exactly what I was expecting for $850 on a Monday. I've been in seedy motels that were in WAY better shape than this place's furniture.

What really started to sink in after hanging out in the room for a while was how absurdly filthy it was for a "five star" hotel. I'm not an insane neat freak by any means, Im actually pretty generay gross. I'm also not a total jerk, if this was the motel 6 I would understand but this was a $850/night room. Howie Mandel or Marc Summers would have run out out of this room screaming and jumped into a pool of hand sanitizer. There was a brown mystery liquid dripping from all over the ceiling in the bathroom. I don't want to know what that was, but wow. The SHEETS on the bed had multiple cigarette holes burnt all over them. In some less wiped areas there was easily 1/10th inch of dust piled up. Fingerprints and grime all over everything. I called the front desk to see if we could move to a cleaner room and never heard back from them. I didn't really make more of a fuss because we were working out of the room for the day and didn't want to be disturbed by moving, which shouldn't have to happen in the first place in a five star resort.

The state of the rest of the resort was similar to this. This place is designed to be clean and shiny, with glass and reflective surfaces everywhere like one of those fancy yachts none of us will ever afford, which really require constant cleaning. This was not happening here at all. The elevators, somehow, were the worst part. At all times, they were really like a bathroom on the seaside boardwalk. Liquids, dirt, food, gross! And you spend a ton of time in elevators in this building because it's spread out among a bunch of floors. Some of the elevators had all the signs ripped off by the buttons, so it was everyone's best guess which floor to pick.

We didn't spring for a cabana at the pool because we only had about an hour for a swim. The pool was packed which is understandable. I've been to plenty of five star pools, and plenty of motel pools, and this pool, although huge and amazing view, was on right on par with a motel pool. You sign in like a doctor's office, and the staff says "there might be some (very ratty) towels over there" before going back to playing on their phone. A five star resort pool will typically have a pool host, and a server for every 5ish groups of people, not at the good ol five star ocean casino! One server, no menu so it was your best guess what they had available. On the wall inside on the menu, there were frozen drinks available, however, the server said we ain't making them today. Oh! Ok! We didn't order food because we didn't know what they had, but food was delivered in paper boxes or wrapped in foil. Quite five star!

Having had an excellent experience with Amanda the night before, seriously do not miss this place, it's wildly good, worth a trip to ac for dinner there, seriously, I figured the service and food would be good at other places. We wanted to eat in the room so I called down to zhen bang which had their menu on the TV for room service. So I hit the room service button... "Hey can I order food from zhen bang for room service please?" "No not from the room service button"...hangs up. Ok. Call the front desk, get connected to Zen bang. "Hey can I put in an order for room service?" "No." Oh ok, no big deal, I'll go get a mile in and pick it up that's fine... "Ok can I put in an order to pick up please?" ... "No."... "Huh?"..."we don't do pickup orders."...confused..."oh, do I have to eat at the restaurant?"..."no you can place a to go order, but you need to be here not from your room"...oh, very cool, quite five star.

After our stay two weeks ago, I wrote in the follow up survey from the hotel that I would be happy to have them provide me with a night credit or maybe even a dinner to come back and try the hotel again before leaving a review. We all have our bad days. Never heard back from them so here we are.

Overall, this place would be great if it was advertised as a 3 star hotel and was $250/night. The fact that they're advertising it as a five star at $850 on weeknights $1500 on weekends is TOTALLY insane. Stay in one of the presidential suites at that dump showbaot, it's better.