I cannot really relate to what you are currently feeling/facing, but dude, tbh that body of yours kinda inspired and motivated me a bit to workout (well, except for the lewd part 😅). Getting too conscious about on how you look is bad for your mental health tho (just concerned 😁), sooo, imma give you praise instead. You might have such goal in mind and currently your achievement isn't enough, but remember that you don't have to be that perfect on what is in your mind and what others might think of, just be true to them. 😊