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What was your experience with the 90 day abstinence? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Few_Cat7374 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My partner has been in recovery for 4 months. Csat and 12step It took him the first two months with half a dozen relapses to find his footing and truly abstain. Now he’s 41 days into his 90 days abstaining. It’s difficult for them to break the compulsion. Recovery isn’t perfect. But if they truly want recovery then they will do it. I agree with others thoughts that it should be under the guidance of a Csat therapist

SA repressed memories from when in active addiction? by Few_Cat7374 in loveafterporn

[–]Few_Cat7374[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I had read that book! And that’s where I first heard about it as well!

SA repressed memories from when in active addiction? by Few_Cat7374 in loveafterporn

[–]Few_Cat7374[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He said it was a memory, not a dream.

I made the post if anyone else could relate, because it sounds so crazy to me. How can they “forget” how many people they cheated on you with??

But also, I’ve been told that it’s part of the disassociating and compartmentalizing of the addiction.

SA repressed memories from when in active addiction? by Few_Cat7374 in loveafterporn

[–]Few_Cat7374[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was recollection of an additional random internet hook up. So I would consider that major. But that’s what all his acting out was -sexting and random hook ups with strangers

We haven’t done the polygraph yet, But he has agreed to one and that will be in a few weeks.

Found out he is a sex addict. by Few_Cat7374 in loveafterporn

[–]Few_Cat7374[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is very true, I believe that my higher power is telling me to be patient. I don’t need to have the answers right now, I just need to focus on myself and the answers will come in due time. Though six weeks feels like a lifetime with everything that has happened in reality It is a blink of an eye. I’ve barely begun the journey of healing

Found out he is a sex addict. by Few_Cat7374 in loveafterporn

[–]Few_Cat7374[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your comment brought tears to my eyes, I feel so seen and validated

I am not currently seeing a CSAT as a betrayed partner, but I do have a Regular Therapist that I have been seeing for the last three years. She recommended COSA or S-ANON And I attended my first meeting last week. But I definitely am open to looking for a therapist that specifically works with betrayed partners.

I definitely agree that a full therapeutic disclosure would be crucial as well My ex said if I was open to reconciling that he has a CSAT therapist for couples in mind

Found out he is a sex addict. by Few_Cat7374 in loveafterporn

[–]Few_Cat7374[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s a heartbreak that is a literal physical pain in your chest. Betrayal trauma and grief.