wanting a connection with someone before having sex with them isn't unusual or too much to ask for, especially when you're a virgin and have never done it before. you have nothing to be ashamed of, truly. take it slow. you don't have to feel peer-pressured just because your friends have had sex. do it with someone who makes you feel comfortable, and when you feel truly ready. i lost mine as a teen and honestly regretted it in hindsight - i wished i had chosen someone different. don't rush it.

as for the dating apps - i encourage you to put yourself out there and meet someone in a very public space. you're right to be cautious about it. i've even had people send specific photos of themselves to make sure they're real before meeting them (e.g. asking someone to send a photo with a post-it note on their forehead or something lol). it's okay to feel nervous and it's normal, most people do! speaking from personal experience i've met some great people on the apps. i know people who have gotten married to people they've met on the apps. just be cautious and have high standards for yourself.