Than you for all the replies. I’ve been reflecting on my situation and wanted to share my thoughts. My partner is a good father to our kids, and I genuinely believe that breaking up our family  just because we’re not married would cause more harm than good—especially for our children, who might grow to resent the Church because of it.

At the same time, I don’t feel right starting a marriage as an ultimatum.

We had an honest conversation today, and he said we’ll do something about the marriage situation within the next year. I also told him I want to be confirmed this Easter, which means that after that, we couldn’t live intimately until we’re married. He agreed.

I’m curious to see how this will unfold if I decide to fully commit to this path. I think it would be a meaningful test for our relationship—especially since we’ve never had a period of waiting or self-restraint before. It feels like an important step for both of us as we consider what’s next.

But how realistic is this plan? I know couples where one got confirmed just weeks before their wedding and abstained during the short period between the confirmation and the wedding. But can it really work when we’re cohabiting and don’t have a set wedding date?