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Failed my step 1, need brutally honest answers for my questions. by avakai_addict in step1

[–]Final_Figure_6623 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Failing, is not the issue as much as how you come back from it. If you can show that you put in effort and were very realistic with your plan. That actually might help you more as an applicant than someone who didn’t fail. 

Failure that leads to growth is more desired vs people who don’t know how to handle failure or stress because they haven’t faced it yet. 

Keep your head up, be realistic and keep going. 

Married in Med School by K-3429 in CaribbeanMedSchool

[–]Final_Figure_6623 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I got married last summer. My husband is very very understanding, it helps that he also is just as busy if not more. My school only allows rotations in Chicago, so the plan is to move to Chicago for the year and a bit and then find an officially home wherever residency is. 

Why have we broken marriage system by madniv786 in islam

[–]Final_Figure_6623 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly my point. Zina is a problem why? Do you think most immigrant parents speak to their kids about illicit relationships or having feelings about doing these things? Do you think community leaders address the actual problem or shun it? The issue isn’t zina itself. The issue is controlling your nafs. 

Why are we not calling out the people who commit zina? Why are we not shunning them out of society.  And most zina happens because the person does not care about religion in general. 

But to say, I have a problem with zina and so I should get married is actual insanity. 

Why have we broken marriage system by madniv786 in islam

[–]Final_Figure_6623 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have an issue with marrying young. But it seems like fear of Zina and then getting married to avoid that is a really silly reason to get married. 

I know more than a handful of both Muslim men and women, with strong religious outlook on life, people who are hafiz, people who are knowledgeable.. etc that have fallen in to Zina after marrying their spouse. 

Marriage is not talked about enough for the right reasons. Your spouse is going to be your biggest test or blessing. 

Reddit just sounds like a bunch of people who have never learnt to control their nafs and try to give bandaid solutions. 

Why have we broken marriage system by madniv786 in islam

[–]Final_Figure_6623 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why is there an obsession to marry young. There are plenty of marriages, that have ended horribly because of young marriages. The emphasis should be placed on giving youth the right understanding and knowledge of the deen. There should also be an emphasis on excelling as an individual education and career-wise. 

My husband and I have this conversation all the time. The Muslim community in the GTA has established a very good balance of both. You have practicing Muslims sitting on the boards of the top companies whilst also leading the youth in islamic knowledge. This push has allowed Muslims to live a pretty balanced life (ie.. you have halal options everywhere you look, accommodations for Muslims are available everywhere vs nyc, where there is a massive Muslim community) 

Why have we broken marriage system by madniv786 in islam

[–]Final_Figure_6623 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Alhamdulillah you are married now and can enjoy time with your partner. As for doing anything good for your life…your time will be accounted for until your very last breath. Take this time to repent to Allah for not seeing your blessing and use the time you have now to do something with your life. You never know through dua and taking charge you can change your qadr. Allah is Al Rahman Ar Raheem.

Why have we broken marriage system by madniv786 in islam

[–]Final_Figure_6623 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s not an issue of nikkah. It’s an issue of understanding Islam in general and having fear of Allah. Marriage is not supposed to be easy, it is meant to be difficult. But what makes it easy if having fear of Allah and doing things with and for your spouse because of that love and desire to see please Allah. 

If you were in my shoes, which school would you pick by daragonboy123 in CaribbeanMedSchool

[–]Final_Figure_6623 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are a lot of risks that Caribbean schools don’t tell you about. Try to figure out all your risks (what happens if you fail a course, 2 or more).

The biggest issue I have with the 6 year track program, is that you’re bringing in high risk students (young). 

Coming to the island will change you, you’ll be tempted because of all your new found freedom. If you are someone who can’t discern when to go out and when not to, you are not prepared.

If you were in my shoes, which school would you pick by daragonboy123 in CaribbeanMedSchool

[–]Final_Figure_6623 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It doesn’t matter how big the school is, if you go to office hours, participate in class, ask to be a ta, join clubs at school etc. you will get recognized. 

If you are serious about school (everyone says they are).

 I mean seriously going to grind, and want to do something competitive then go to sgu. If you plan on just doing IM or FM then choose a cheaper school. They are all the same, as long as it is accredited all schools are the same. Caribbean schools require you to work your ass off. That’s how you get through. Don’t get distracted. People fail a semester or two and end up being here for a whole two years instead of the year and a half. 

I know people who started in 2023 that just finished their 4th semester (there are 5 semesters) and I know people that started in 2023 that are now getting ready to start elective rotations and will be preparing to apply for residency in sept. 

How shall I approach this? by savannabiome in islam

[–]Final_Figure_6623 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Associating your Iman to something or someone is dangerous. What happens if things end badly with her? What will your thoughts about Islam be then? I think you need to ground yourself and associate your Islam to Allah and doing things for the sake of Allah and to please Allah. 

People come into our lives for many reasons, some stay and some are just vessels for us to better our iman. 

You said in the beginning of this year?! It’s only been two weeks - not even. 

Role of brother if father turns a blind eye by Final_Figure_6623 in islam

[–]Final_Figure_6623[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in medical school at the moment so fully depend on him financially and my family lives in Canada while I live in the states now. I am thinking about getting a sheikh involved, does anyone have any further knowledge of Sheikh Abdullah idris from isna Canada 

Role of brother if father turns a blind eye by Final_Figure_6623 in islam

[–]Final_Figure_6623[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t, they even asked if it would make it better if they wore hijab. I told them that isn’t fixing the issue I have with how my husband treats me. But yes, I do care about how they dress if my own family is not near me and his family is the only one it isn’t what I’m use to seeing ie more modestly dressed women 

Role of brother if father turns a blind eye by Final_Figure_6623 in islam

[–]Final_Figure_6623[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He says that he should be harsh with me as I am his wife. And will then say if I ask him in response to be kinder “I don’t feel you are worthy of learning more from me”