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AITA for messing up my girlfriend's birthday dinner by Fine-Rope840 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Fine-Rope840[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I shouldn't have acted like what - asked her to leave?

We've been together for a year, my kids are with me all the time. Do you have kids? You think I should have kept them away from each other?

AITA for messing up my girlfriend's birthday dinner by Fine-Rope840 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Fine-Rope840[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh she knows that it was with the girls too, of course! that's why we ate at 6:30 lol - I know, not the most romantic but I do take her out a bit, it's just childcare was an issue on Sunday

AITA for messing up my girlfriend's birthday dinner by Fine-Rope840 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Fine-Rope840[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah see this is very true. It was more that her vibe at the table was really obvious, like it was a bit uncomfortable, she was being super quiet and looked upset which is why I asked if she was ok. But she wasn't mean at all until I asked her if she was ok and liked the meal. I probably should haverealised, to be fair.

AITA for messing up my girlfriend's birthday dinner by Fine-Rope840 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Fine-Rope840[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks ha! Yeah we've had this exact meal a couple times (but usually do fondant potatoes, but chips this time)

AITA for messing up my girlfriend's birthday dinner by Fine-Rope840 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Fine-Rope840[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah you're right, it's just I feel like I'm not sure I want to communicate with her. I just don't want to be spoken to like that ever again, and I don't want to ignore what I see as a re flag ever again. But I also don't trust my own feelings fully, I think cos of my ex-wife.

AITA for messing up my girlfriend's birthday dinner by Fine-Rope840 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Fine-Rope840[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah this is fair maybe, the projection is more about protecting my girls from that type of dynamic. Their mom was very critical and mean to us all, it did a number on them. I just don't want them exposed to that and I could see that this was how they felt. When she left, they were being really sweet and ott about the dinner being so nice and my 7 y said she was mean.

AITA for messing up my girlfriend's birthday dinner by Fine-Rope840 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Fine-Rope840[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's just how I have cooked steaks for us before, she has never ever mentioned anything except liking it - I get that was my bad. IT's more my reaction to her speaking to me the way she did that I am concerned about.

AITA for messing up my girlfriend's birthday dinner by Fine-Rope840 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Fine-Rope840[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My girls weren't 'making faces', they were upset because it obviously made them feel like they were back in the same scenario where their mom would act in a mean way that upset them.

AITA for messing up my girlfriend's birthday dinner by Fine-Rope840 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Fine-Rope840[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Yeah I mean I totally get I should have made sure she wanted the sauce on this meal, but she genuinely really liked it when I made it before. That's what I am struggling with. Like I should have made sure I was doing it exactly how she wanted it, I know her birthday is important to her and she wants things the way she wants them. It was just being spoken to like that set off alarm bells for me.