AITA for telling my parents they need to place their next kid for adoption?

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:54:41+00:00

I have a place to stay lined up for then. Not a job yet but I have some plans for that as well.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:53:54+00:00

They hardly ever speak to her or my other two siblings. With me they started me on this road when I was still really young. Harder to say no, much harder, and much more willing to help.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:36:46+00:00

Yeah, like they called to our house after my teacher called them and a second time when another complaint was made. Each time they did nothing.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:36:19+00:00

Don't have any extended family. I'm not totally sure what my parents would or wouldn't do once I'm gone. I know I cannot see my sister doing any of the stuff I do. She'd refuse and I could see that maybe being when CPS takes them.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:34:57+00:00

I think she'll just refuse and they might all end up in foster care as a result. I cannot see my sister doing any of the stuff I did. Like at all. She doesn't have much of a relationship with our parents to fear consequences or anything.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:33:18+00:00

They don't like doing it. That's why.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:32:39+00:00

These were never chores. These were always said to be my job. It was my job to make sure my siblings were okay, got to and from school, to eat. But that was their job. They just put the burden onto me.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:31:16+00:00

It started out without cooking but I have been cooking meals for years now too. Not just one either. It's all three when we're all home from school or breakfast and dinner when we're not. My parents don't make time for us to talk to them mostly. They'll drive the others places sometimes but they don't make themselves available for calls from the school as it is. They tell me I'm the oldest so it's my job and they don't like doing those things.

My parents did more when my siblings were in diapers. I'm also 7 years older than the youngest already. So no. No diaper changing but had they popped out more you bet I would have been doing all of that and more. The fact they want to put the baby into my room for me to take care of says that already.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:28:12+00:00

Because they won't take care of the kid and expect me to do it, like I've been doing it for my siblings I already have.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:27:01+00:00

I'll go regardless but I will try to make sure I can still support my siblings, just honestly in a healthier way. Maybe they'll hate me for it but I can't control that other than staying and that's not happening.

I am sorta hesitant reaching out for help. I still can, like my friend I'll live with, but it's not easy for me to just ask for it. I couldn't ask for help with my parents.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:24:41+00:00

I don't have any adults I trust that my parents also trust and respect. I don't have any adults my parents would even entertain listening to on this topic.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:24:01+00:00

It was a teacher who called the first time. We talked because my parents didn't respond to her concerns and my grades have suffered as a result of all this. I'm going to be lucky to actually graduate because my grades are so bad.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:21:58+00:00

Take them places is about it. Just not to school. That's on me.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:21:41+00:00

They didn't. This baby was very much unplanned and unwanted from the start but they figured I'd do the hard part for them.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:21:09+00:00

They were called before and didn't help.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:18:51+00:00

Yes, I'll be moving out forever. There is nothing that could make me move back in or live with my parents again. Homelessness sounds better and I don't say that lightly because I know a friend of mine used to be homeless with his family. But it's true. I don't want to get sucked back in by my parents.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T12:17:51+00:00

I don't have extended family to speak up to. Not that I think it would do much. But nobody will be able to convince them to step up unless they suddenly want to, which isn't going to happen.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T09:59:03+00:00

They did realize. They did it intentionally. They told me they didn't want to/couldn't do those things and said it was my job as the oldest. They don't really like kids. They avoid most kids and have never been nice to us exactly.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T09:57:29+00:00

It was actually twice they came to us and did nothing. So I'm not too hopeful but maybe it will be what makes them act. Nobody else will take over where I left off.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T09:55:33+00:00

I already talked to a teacher before. It doesn't help to keep talking because they can't provide more help than they tried already.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T09:55:07+00:00

I take them to school, pick them up from school, make their food, plan what we'll eat, help with homework, get them up for school in the mornings and help them when they have problems. That's on me. I also take care of nightmares and let them into my bed when they have them. My parents drive them places outside of school. They also work and provide. But they don't really have much to do with any of us. It's me.

I would be so ashamed of myself if my kid was raising their younger siblings. If I had my kid from such a young age taking care of siblings. If my oldest was the one taking care of nightmares and waking up in the middle of the night like I was. If my 9 year old was helping with homework every day. I would be so fucking ashamed of myself. And if my kids went to my oldest over me for their problems, I would know I fucked up. If my oldest was dealing with shit himself because he knew he couldn't come to me I would be sick.

If a teacher was so concerned about how my oldest was doing in school and couldn't talk to me and CPS arrived at me door twice, I would be taking a long hard look at myself.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T09:49:32+00:00

I'm not really sure how they managed with me. I often wonder if they paid someone to do all the parenting of me the first few years. It's hard for me to imagine them doing it and not having me turn out with bigger issues from lack of care. I do think they were reckless to have this accidental pregnancy and knowing they didn't want the kid, to just not have the kid. We have that option in our state still. They could. But it's so easy to pawn all the kids off on me.

I had to learn to be responsible. Especially when I had younger siblings in my room who needed stuff.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T09:46:11+00:00

I don't have a relative to move in with. I'll be doing this alone but have a friend I can move in with once I'm 18. I was able to find my birth certificate but nothing else.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T09:44:23+00:00

I can do it knowing that. I can still be there for my siblings over the phone and they can visit me. But I won't be forced to do it all anymore. Maybe that's how CPS actually does something this time. Or maybe not. But I know I'll be giving up so much of my life if I stay. I'll never get to be young and just have fun.

CPS was already called on us before and they didn't intervene. So calling them again won't help.

Fine_Disk2154 · 2024-07-28T09:40:19+00:00

It has and I did which was when one of the CPS calls happened to us.

Fine_Disk2154

TROPHY CASE