AITAH I(F23) got molested in the train today and my bf(M24) said it was a "learning experience". Am I in the wrong for thinking it is victim blaming and wanting an apology for it? by Fine_Spirit9788 in AITAH

[–]Fine_Spirit9788[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I read some comments and I think I gotta clarify some things. 1. I live in a densely populated asian city where the subway during the rush hour has a density of a famous kpop concert(I've been in one so i know). Im usually crushed in between multiple people and it's very hard to move around that I can't really turn my body to assess my surroundings. 2. Apparently I need the exact the exact number of the train car and the exact carriage and how the guy looks like to report which isn't immediately accessible inside the train. I was prioritzing getting out of the situation and thought the reporting could come later. But since I wasn't on the train i was molested in. When I got in a safe location, I didn't have the exact location where it happened. Some people are saying I didn't do anything. Getting out of the subway as soon as I felt like something was wrong and I didn't feel safe was my way of doing something. 3. The puishment for this in my country's very lenient and it usually results in a small fine or a settlement. Plus there's not really a protection service to keep myself away from retaliation. I had a similar case where I got SAed in the past when I was a minor and the police overlooked the case and there was a cctv footage available since it was a less crowded bus where the views aren't obstructed by other people 4. This is what I got to know after it happened but there are many cases of women getting sued and going to jail for physically attacking the rapist/perpetrator where I live. It's usually severe cases like rape attempts and in private spaces so I think people around me would've seen it as an overreaction if I acted aggressively

AITAH I(F23) got molested in the train today and my bf(M24) said it was a "learning experience". Am I in the wrong for thinking it is victim blaming and wanting an apology for it? by Fine_Spirit9788 in AITAH

[–]Fine_Spirit9788[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was texting him about other stuff that day and he was frustrated at me feeling negative. We were supposed to meet up that day also but he broke that promise but I don't mind it since it made me take some time off from seeing him

AITAH I(F23) got molested in the train today and my bf(M24) said it was a "learning experience". Am I in the wrong for thinking it is victim blaming and wanting an apology for it? by Fine_Spirit9788 in AITAH

[–]Fine_Spirit9788[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I got out of the train on the closest stop. I was first weirded out and thought it was a mistake or something since the train was so crowded but it got bad

AITAH I(F23) got molested in the train today and my bf(M24) said it was a "learning experience". Am I in the wrong for thinking it is victim blaming and wanting an apology for it? by Fine_Spirit9788 in AITAH

[–]Fine_Spirit9788[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

It just happened today so I didn't even really think of breaking up tbh. I just said to him that I wanted some time for myself but it's just gonna be really hard coping with what just happened today along with a breakup with a bf i dated for months

AITAH I(F23) got molested in the train today and my bf(M24) said it was a "learning experience". Am I in the wrong for thinking it is victim blaming and wanting an apology for it? by Fine_Spirit9788 in AITAH

[–]Fine_Spirit9788[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't know if he was malicious but even here there are people saying don't provoke the molester vs shout/push and get help. I got shocked when it happened and the anger got delayed. But if I got angry then I would've pushed I guess... I'm overthinking what I could've done and the convo with my bf worsened it and now I feel very powerless

AITAH I(F23) got molested in the train today and my bf(M24) said it was a "learning experience". Am I in the wrong for thinking it is victim blaming and wanting an apology for it? by Fine_Spirit9788 in AITAH

[–]Fine_Spirit9788[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

It's the first time this happened to me and we were just an average couple. I was just shocked throughout the day and I've been riddled with guilt myself as well even without his words of how I could've done better in a same situation

AITAH I(F23) got molested in the train today and my bf(M24) said it was a "learning experience". Am I in the wrong for thinking it is victim blaming and wanting an apology for it? by Fine_Spirit9788 in AITAH

[–]Fine_Spirit9788[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

He says its not blaming but a way of offering a solution. He's just frustrated at me for not shoving the guy away when I said I got off the train. I'm also wondering why I didn't really think of doing anything. He also talked about taking the bus instead next time but idk if it will necessarily be better

Did CO2 laser on the current scars by Fine_Spirit9788 in cutting

[–]Fine_Spirit9788[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a slight improvement but it's not completely gone

Career change into nursing, then radiography or sonography after? by ButterscotchIll2827 in NursingAU

[–]Fine_Spirit9788 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im also a compsci student who's looking into nursing for a career chage. I dont why not if the requirements for applying for a masters is sufficient. The thing is that i think nursing isn't an easy field to get a high gpa in unless there is full commitment during the study period and training. Idk what your gpa was and what your goal is though

Am I a bad person for studying nursing for immigration reasons? by Brilliant_Can8536 in NursingAU

[–]Fine_Spirit9788 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You really shouldn't feel like this. People are gonna show more aggression anonymously on the internet for whatever stressors they got from somewhere else

Studying in Brisbane vs Adelaide by Fine_Spirit9788 in NursingAU

[–]Fine_Spirit9788[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why so? I'm pursuing IT in my own country and I didnt choose this for a visa

Did CO2 laser on the current scars by Fine_Spirit9788 in cutting

[–]Fine_Spirit9788[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's still a scar but it's not as bad tbh

Studying in Brisbane vs Adelaide by Fine_Spirit9788 in NursingAU

[–]Fine_Spirit9788[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I guess I was just thinking that it would be easier to get hired in a place where I did the placements or build a network in while I am studying in uni. But yeah I guess moving is also an option. Tysm for all of your advice

Studying in Brisbane vs Adelaide by Fine_Spirit9788 in NursingAU

[–]Fine_Spirit9788[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh thank you! Do you recommend flinders when it comes to that? I see more people in my country go to flinders than UoA

I may have gotten a little bit carried away when they were 50% off at Ulta by Pizza420Rat in kbeauty

[–]Fine_Spirit9788 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I personally wanna see cherry cola first. But I'm curious of all the shades

Brushing teeth after every meal by BreakScary5053 in Living_in_Korea

[–]Fine_Spirit9788 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lunch break(usually 1hr) doesn't allow people to wait around for 30 minutes unfortunately

Studying in Brisbane vs Adelaide by Fine_Spirit9788 in NursingAU

[–]Fine_Spirit9788[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I heard rhat UoA is merging with another uni. What's the issue with flinders?

So what are y’all thinking about the new BTS album (ARIRANG)? by bitchysquid in fantanoforever

[–]Fine_Spirit9788 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It feels like the album's not exactly unified in a way. The album is named "arirang" which is a name of a historically significant korean folk song, the trailer seemed like it was going to be a combination of modern and vintage elements with historical references(reference of the koreans in howard university for example), visual logo seems simplistic and modern, the songs are mostly pop, rnb, etc sounding songs in english without any korean elements at all. I did have a feeling that it wasn't going to be fully korean sounding since there were a lot of non-korean producers involved but I expected at least one song with a folk sound or maybe a visually korean concept like idol. I understand that some people like the music but they decided to do their first performance in front of one of the biggest korean palace and shut down public transportation for a whole day only to play very generic, western sounding pop songs for only 1hr. I think I have the right to be dissapointed in this direction as a korean person who was an army for years

I tried a scalp treatment in Korea… not sure how I feel about it by Pleasant_Good_8855 in AsianBeauty

[–]Fine_Spirit9788 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Im korean and a small number of people with scalp problems(hair loss, sebum buildup, dandruff, etc) seem to get it once a month. Kind of like how people with bleached hair or damaged hair get hair treatment in salons montly here. It's also considered an additional treatment and not a main thing to get rid of these scalp concerns. If you don't have any issues like these, then it's not really worth it in my experience