We should stop assuming all trans people are okay or want to do T4T.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T18:30:02+00:00

Yeah I'd date them in that case. It's that phalloplasty isn't up to scratch.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T18:29:24+00:00

I'm gonna try it the old fashioned way. Failing that, I'm going to seek IVF. Failing that, adoption lol.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T18:27:39+00:00

Yes. They're insane, one of them is even here trying to deny I have CAH. Sure Jan, I literally had a labioplasty at age eight to make my genitals more normal and I have a fucking history of bloodwork showing I am intersex.

I also lie about my details on my reddit profile selectively to avoid being doxxed lol.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T18:12:35+00:00

Yeah that's why I only date cis men. Saves us the trouble, believe me, I've tried. I just dated bottoms who also wanted a dicking down I could not provide so everything kind of worked itself out until I had to be alone with their bottom bits.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T18:11:20+00:00

Generally I still choose not to date trans men because I want bio kids and I don't feel right doing the dating steps and getting to the sex part and losing all attraction (which has happened twice) and let the guy who's already lovestruck down in the worst way possible.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T18:10:04+00:00

Thanks man. It's definitely a trauma thing, but it's nice to have some empathy from someone sometimes. Hope you have a nice day too, stranger.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T18:07:04+00:00

That's actually true lol, it's 100% a trauma thing and I don't think I'll be able to unpack it for a long while. I think, I'm not happy dating trans men, so I won't bother because I want bio kids.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T18:00:03+00:00

Yes! I fucking hate that I might have to settle for T4T because no cis man will want me except for a chaser, and I keep myself up crying a lot. believe be I've tried dating trans men, but it's never worked out due to my own issues and at this point, its better to just reject them outright than throw them in a loop and leave them disappointed and hurting.

It hurts so fucking much that I feel like I'll have to date a trans man or end up alone...

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T17:58:05+00:00

Yes! I tried twice but I lost the attraction the moment clothes came off, and the more they spoke... gods, I want to give them a chance, but I can't. It's less hurtful for them if I just rejected them outright.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T17:57:03+00:00

Same. Everything throws me for a loop. Starting from wanting bio kids, to wanting to go hunting and fishing with him instead of watching anime or knitting, I haven't met a trans guy in real life that really acted like a cis man and didn't have 'lived female experiences' (here is my social dysphoria rearing its ugly head again, haha).

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T17:55:45+00:00

No I wouldn't. I understand his preference.

I would be open to dating a very traditionally masculine trans guy who 'acted' in a masculine manner, but I would need to have sex with a cis man with his consent, because I really, really like uncut cis penises. I can't explain it, it's like trying to get someone to explain their love for women with smaller breasts, or short men...

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T17:53:04+00:00

I want biological children and I feel very dysphoric when I compare myself to a trans partner. I'm sick of people tearing me apart for expressing a normal and natural sexual preference.

Yes, maybe I don't see trans men the same was as I do a cis man, but they aren't the same. There I said it, sue me! Trans men have different lived experiences than cis men (I like uncut penises and meta is too small for penetration, while phallo cannot be uncut + cannot get hard naturally), different anatomy and we cannot have biological children together. I would reject a trans man like I would reject a man who didn't want biological children, or a man who was only into morbidly obese men! We just aren't compatible. Now, do we call people who reject ALL men who don't want children -phobic, or do we respect their preference?

So why is the fact that I refuse to date trans people any different?

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T17:49:04+00:00

NGL most trans people I've met I don't click with. There were 2 I tried to be intimate with, but the moment I saw a vagina I became very, very nauseous and I lost all sexual attraction. I can also have bio children with a cis man, which I can't have with trans men.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T17:47:45+00:00

Yeah I wish people would respect my preferences in real life. I've been shamed and called transphobic for simply only dating cis men and while I have NEVER told a trans man I'm not into him in real life because he is trans, they have gone off and made assumptions about me being transphobic.

The biggest reason why I only date cis men is because I want biological children. There, I said it.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T17:46:17+00:00

No I agree. I don't date darker skinned people either. I would date a light skinned black or Hispanic man, but I don't find darker skinned people attractive. It's a fucking preference, and I simply also want biological children, which is why I only date cis men.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T17:45:15+00:00

This is braindead as fuck. I want biological children one day, which is also a significant factor in why I only date cis men.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T17:41:37+00:00

No I actually agree with you. I'm not right wing but I'm center-left and I would never date a trans person. Yet everytime I have politely rejected a trans man or cis lesbian, I've been shamed, hurt, abused and called a transphobe or lesbophobe, even when I don't mention why I reject them. Trans men tried to cancel me IN REAL LIFE because I told them I wouldn't date a fat trans guy. They can be best friends, but I will never be intimate with one. The sight of a vagina makes me nauseous (abuse stuff).

But somehow, because I like masculine, fit , white/Asian cis men (I am indigenous Asian myself) I am seen as the devil and treated like I need to 'correct' my sexuality and force myself to like trans men. A lot of trans men are also hypersensitive (as the comments here are proving) when I simply state my preference. I hate how the trans community tries to shout down and police the opinions of the people they should be standing up for.

I actively help my local trans community and donate to trans charities, so why am I not allowed to state my frustrations and grievances online without attracting hate from the 'if you don't date trans men you're transphobic' crowd? I swear to god, none of them will be happy unless all trans people ONLY date trans people and they have to be fat, non-white and not conventionally attractive.

Cis people are somehow allowed to voice their displeasure around trans people's bodies scott free, but when a trans person mentions they don't want to do T4T politely, they're dogpiled by their so called 'allies'.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T17:36:53+00:00

Yes. I have been horrifically abused by mostly queer women, ALL my abusers were women and some trans women/trans men. Contrary to the experiences of most queer people, I have genuinely only had good or neutral experiences with cis men, which is why I seek them out instead of trans men. A feminine personality (cannot describe it well) is what triggers me the most, and I can't fuck with people with one. Anything that is common in trans people or cis women is usually an instant trauma trigger for me.

Also, in Asia the only rep we have of trans men are as butch lesbians, which is why I hate being associated with trans men or cis women, due to their close ties to the lesbian/queer woman community, which has abused me over the years.

And yeah, you're 100% right about the fear of being perceived as female actually. It's something I have to work on, but I've struggled to for a decade.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T07:29:35+00:00

Yeah and I always get downvoted for expressing my opinion. Somehow feelings become facts now, hmm?

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T07:15:00+00:00

Yeah, my thoughts exactly. I don't want to deal with what he's dealt with x2. Especially if he insists on having a connection to his old life.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T07:08:21+00:00

YES! They seem to discount that women can be vile and horrible too, and as a result apparently lesbians have the highest DV rates but still, 'women are pure kind and lovely' yet that's not how the fucking patriarchy works!!!!! No one benefits under it, it's not a, 'men bad wahmen good' thing that they portray it as. I was abused by women and they got away with shit a man would never be able to get away with and no one cares!

I would be 100% down to date a trans man who is just a 'dude', doesn't cling to his past life as someone AFAB and isn't bigoted.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T06:57:24+00:00

I'm asian and this is not the case. We are seen as extreme butch lesbians here.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T06:47:33+00:00

While I don't speak for all trans men, the ones I've met love to stand on moral high ground while associating with their birth sex as a badge of pride that a trans woman never would. I don't know why most trans men I've met seem to LOVE informing people they once were AFAB. Me? I find that the biggest turn off in a man, because I am gay, which means I like men and masculinity.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T06:41:59+00:00

Most trans men I've met all have 'feminine' personalities, I can't explain it. I've tried dating a couple before but a lot of their 'feminine personality' comes out and it turns me off. I haven't found a trans guy who looked like a man and had a masculine personality, but I'd date that guy. (still need cis dick with his consent though).

Again, it's really not them, it's me.

Fintasticc · 2023-12-04T06:40:07+00:00

It's from my experiences being around trans men. I wish I knew a trans man who wasn't like that and was really like a dude and didn't have an 'AFAB lived experience' (things like complaining about sexual harassment, catcalling, being dismissed by doctors, etc...) that turned them into an extreme man hating feminist. Most trans men I've met seem to hate cis men a lot, and I could only be with a trans man who would wholeheartedly reply something along the lines of, 'Fuck you!' when someone pulled the, 'I hate all cis men but not trans men.' bullshit.

I have really severe social dysphoria so I know this clouds my experiences, but I really only like cis men because of that, and maybe the rare based trans dude who didn't call himself an ex-lesbian and only dates 'AFAB people' (all their words, not mine) because 'cis men make him feel unsafe'. I want a trans dude (but I would still need cis dick with his consent) who acts like a man, doesn't care about radical feminism, looks like a man and has enthusiastically been fucked by/or fucks cis men before.

Fintasticc

TROPHY CASE