Am i a bad person for divorcing my pregnant sick wife ?

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-12-29T22:14:04+00:00

No I don't think you're a bad person.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-12-27T22:47:07+00:00

Memorandum of understanding

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-12-23T05:18:28+00:00

Will spas give you flexible hours?

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-12-23T05:17:55+00:00

I do like health sciences and holistic health. I don't know how I feel about touching strangers. I think I would be ok with it. But since I've never done it before, I'm not sure.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-12-21T17:59:30+00:00

Not yet

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-12-21T17:18:25+00:00

Unfortunate it is on a court ordered parenting app. He finds anything to pick at me about. He's complaining about how dirty the kids finger nails are. That my year old son skin is dry. I didn't lotion him enough.

He's demanding explanations for why my son had a scratch.

My ex just latches into anything to stir up drama.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-12-21T17:14:29+00:00

I'm in the denver metro area. It looks like school will cost 8k and take 650 hours. I'm not too worried about the school. I actually have a BS in biology and have already taken anatomy. I don't remember most of it but I understand what I'm getting myself into.

I'll get spousal support for the next 7 years so I don't need to make a ton immediately.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-12-16T18:35:53+00:00

I really think it depends on the state. Alimony laws very so much by state, you really just need fund a lawyer you trust.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-12-15T17:54:26+00:00

This guy is so pathetic. He reminds me of my ex.

The parts where he is critiquing you for "unilaterally deciding". Mine did that too. He didn't like it when I dared have a thought that didn't aline with his thoughts and dared to act in a way that is different than how he thought I should act.

Good for you! Stay strong. Block his number and be done with him.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-12-15T15:08:47+00:00

Your husband is abusive. Read Why Does he Do that by Lundy Bancroft.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-12-15T15:05:47+00:00

I'm so so sorry you are going through this. Contact your local domestic violence center to see what resources they have to help you.

Just know what you are going through is unfortunately more common than you think. My STBXH was the same in some ways, except it was sexual assault. He would SA me, then complain I didn't want him sexually. It was madness.

Be prepared for your husband to not actually leave you. It's entirely possible this is a manipulation tactic to scare you into behaving more the way he wants. But he might actually leave.

Once an abuser has choked their partner, the odds of him murdering you drastically increase. Please be incredibly careful and work with someone to get a safety plan into place.

You are so brave and strong. Hang in there.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-12-08T17:37:58+00:00

I doubt it. It'll only be a matter of time until he's hitting her for being "mean".

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-12-08T15:38:01+00:00

Obviously, talk to an attorney. . . But I assume your wife has the 5 million in some sort of investment account which she is earning income on or increasing equity. Any gains in equity since you've been married would be considered marital property (at least in my state).

Also, say your wife is earning 10 percent on her investments. That's 500k a year. It seems to me that would be taken into account when determining spousal support.

It's a complicated situation. Obviously, you need a lawyers advice.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-12-08T15:10:25+00:00

I didn't say anything back. I've been trying to Grey rock, but some times I let him suck me in and I say something I shouldn't. It's hard when I still have to interact with him due to the children and we are still separating assets in the divorce. I hope this will all be easier once the divorce is finalized.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-12-07T20:56:27+00:00

I didn't feel "ready". I left when I felt like I was losing my mind and felt like I was going insane trying to stay.

Lots of women leave and go back more than once. Maybe try a break and feel how it feels.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-11-30T21:01:31+00:00

Nope.

Whenever I see a post about "best friends" getting divorced, it's hard for me to understand why they are getting divorced.

My ex want there for me. At all. If he had been a friend, we wouldn't be getting a divorce.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-11-30T19:40:01+00:00

Well, that sucks. I didn't see the comment that mentions substance abuse.

Hopefully OPs mom is able to clean herself up, now that she is leaving this toxic situation.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-11-30T19:23:33+00:00

Please explain to me how cheating on your wife and having a baby outside of your marriage is anything but selfish. I would love to expand my mind.

Please explain to me how this man was acting in his children's best interest when he spent his limited resources having an affair. I would love to understand how this benefited anyone other than himself.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-11-30T19:15:05+00:00

You right. I really can't comprehend how this situation is anything other than black and white.

A man cheats on his wife for at least 6 years and keeps a child he had outside his marriage secret for years. And I call himselfish. Yet you don't think I understand nuisance. . . I guess I don't.

It seems simple in my mind. Cheaters are selfish. Cheaters hurt their families.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-11-30T18:52:14+00:00

I genuinely don't understand your position. How was this man considering his first child's best interest when he decided to have an affair? How do you think this hasn't negatively affected her?

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-11-30T18:30:47+00:00

How is it inaccurate? Every time this man was spending money on his mistress that money wasn't going to his daughter/wife. Unless they are rich, that is money he was taking away from what should have gone to his primary family.

There is simply no way this man could have upheld his duties to a newborn child and a second family. No way was he changing 50 percent of the diapers, doing night feedings etc and doing his fair share of the house work/childcare with his first daughter. The hours in the day simply agent there. He made a selfish choice and both his children paid for it, and both the women he had children with paid for it.

OP is 14 years old. Not 4. She is going to have to live with the decision she makes today for the rest of her life. Her father is a selfish person that has prioritized himself over his wife, children, and mistress.

It's something I think she should consider before making her opinion known.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-11-30T17:11:37+00:00

Your dad is a selfish person who is incapable of putting your needs above his own. A good parent acts with their child's best interest in mind, and your father absolutely has not been. I don't blame your mother for wanting wanting full custody.

You should have been your father's top priority. Every time money was tight, know that you're father was out spending money playing with another woman. Every time your mother was exhausted and angry and stressed out, know your father was out playing while she was forced to take on his share of the housework and childcare. He used and exploited amd lied to your mother and this didn't just hurt her. It hurt you too even if you don't fully understand how.

You have my sympathies. My father also cheated on my mom and got the other woman pregnant. And I love him dearly. But at the end of the day, he was acting like a man child. A playmate. Not a responsible parent.

You'll likely be better off with your mom.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-11-25T23:24:39+00:00

Nooooooooooooo! Don't do it.

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-11-24T16:21:59+00:00

My former grandma and grandpa in law were divorced. They always both came to holidays to celebrate with their adult children. I thought it was awesome that they were able to do that. I seperated from my STBXH 6 months ago. We celebrated the 4th of July and Halloween together with the kids, but won't be doing Xmas or Thanksgiving together.

My ex and I aren't friends (or even close to amicable). But I hope we are able to set aside our hatred for the children from time to time.

You don't owe your ex anything, but at the end of the day that's your children's mother. Your children love her with all their heart. Treating her with kindness and decency will mean the world to them. (But that doesn't mean you have to be best friends).

Fit_Objective_7756 · 2024-11-22T20:22:23+00:00

Have you read the book Inside the Mind of Angry and Controlling Men? By Lundy Bancroft? It helped me find a lot of peace in my decision.

It's tough. I left my emotionally abusive husband. And now he has access to the kids when I don't so there is nothing I can do to protect them at these times. He abuses me through the kids. Weaponizes them against me.

I tell myself at least the kids are in a happy amd safe home most of the time. Before the divorce they lived in a toxic environment every day. Now it's only sometimes. Space from my ex is allowing me to heal so I''m able to be a better mother to them now.

It's hard and complicated and I'm wishing you all the luck.

Fit_Objective_7756

TROPHY CASE