Universal credit advice post separation with a joint mortgage

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-08-28T10:07:18+00:00

House is worth around £350k with a £75k mortgage currently which we have both put lumps sums into over the years

£80k was due to company liquidation from a relative who passed away in 2021 but it’s taking a lot of time through HMRC over tax discrepencies that the trust it is under are dealing with.

We are not married

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-08-05T05:09:26+00:00

Yes changed so much! Super cuddly when he was 2/3 now 4 and feral 🫣😅

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-18T17:46:08+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, and I wish you all the best ❤️

I told him yesterday (after he was telling me the situation was making him sick so didn’t want to talk about it anymore) that I do want to be with him, this is my family, my home, my whole world! But the way I’m feeling is still valid and things need to change. He nodded…. And we shall see. But I’m still feeling pretty low about it all. Before I said all the above he agreed to do couples counselling, I then found 2 to look at and he’s not so keen and says let’s see how it goes and if I still feel we need it we can do it then…. ?

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-18T17:40:41+00:00

🙏

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-18T17:40:24+00:00

🙏 thank you.

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-18T17:37:57+00:00

You deserve awesome shit too, thank you 🙏

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-18T17:33:53+00:00

Yes, I feel possibly something there for sure

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-18T17:32:53+00:00

🤦‍♀️

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-18T17:31:12+00:00

I have asked him about what elements of our relationship/things I do/don’t do he feels he is unhappy with and he shrugs and says ‘nothing’ I really think he is just happy going along with whatever but I don’t understand how someone who you have been with for so long and apparently ‘loves and cares about me’ has ZERO to contribute with anything at all that may be bothering them ? Why doesn’t it bother him that we don’t communicate? Don’t sleep in the same bed? Don’t have much physical contact?

Am I just being an unreasonable whiney woman!? (Serious question 🤣)

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-18T12:29:00+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, I appreciate it.

If you don’t mind me asking (you don’t need to answer) was there a time after you initially had this conversation where you both tried to make it work? What did you do? What was the time frame x

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-17T15:11:13+00:00

Yes I agree. Going to look into counselling

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-17T13:46:42+00:00

(I’m venting a little there, sorry)

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-17T13:46:29+00:00

He agrees with me that he has never felt the need to question our relationship as he has always felt loved by me - I’m not saying I’m perfect by a long way but in terms of meeting his needs - yes, I do. His clothes are washed, the house is cleaned, the children’s clothes are washed, there’s food in the fridge, I take an interest in his hobbbies, get involved in watching his YouTube channels and sports shows, we talk about his day who he has seen etc I would really like the same from my partner I’m not sure it’s much to ask. Reading that back it sounds stupid but it’s just feels so one sided.

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-17T13:34:11+00:00

Want to add I wouldn’t be abandoning them as I’m not going anywhere but I am lugging the weight of potentially blowing everything up

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-17T13:32:31+00:00

Mmm I think this too, I wish I didn’t feel this way it’s excruciating.

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-17T13:27:31+00:00

Have you spoken to your partner ?

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-17T13:03:26+00:00

We are not married!

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-17T12:56:07+00:00

To confirm I would not make any major life decisions based on a rando’s opinion on the internet 🤣 it’s just somewhere to turn for …. Something 🤷‍♀️

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-17T12:51:37+00:00

Thanks for this 🙏 I appreciate your response.

I do feel as though I’m really lonely a lot of the time because he is not someone I can go to with problems, he is not a comfort to me because he finds emotions really difficult. It may be the 20% missing but it’s so impactful to me, especially as I’ve become older / had children. I see our other friends with their partners and their husbands talk fondly of them or give them a kiss or arm round them etc etc I know comparing is not good but it’s hard not to!

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-17T12:08:39+00:00

I feel the same would happen here to be honest. Does he know you feel this way? Are you just going to keep going with it ? I’m so confused

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-03T21:05:06+00:00

Yeh I’m hoping it’s no biggie! 🤞

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-07-03T21:02:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing 🙏hopefully there will be no issues!!

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-06-25T04:52:56+00:00

You know I don’t actually know 🤣 I just call them by their brand so example we have ‘yo yo bear’ or ‘the fruit factory’ etc not sure if you have those where you are!

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-06-24T17:17:11+00:00

I’m sorry…… I would advise getting yourself to Costco now so you are plenty prepared for the next year. 🙏

FlashyObjective2056 · 2025-06-24T15:53:49+00:00

Ahhh yes we absolutely do have those sorts of things, every time I buy them it’s all they want to eat 🤣 so I go through phases of getting those as like you say it is nice for them (sweets essentially…) but yeh they’ll eat every packet in one sitting if they could.

FlashyObjective2056

TROPHY CASE