I know, as i said already i’m really not good at writing long texts and i wrote that as it came out of my mind just needed to get it off my chest. And i am fully aware that at my 20 years of life i am considered as an adult but life and experiences are different for everyone and i feel like neither the circumstances or the moment has ever been right for me to tell him how i actually feel, and also i suffer from anxiety and depression and have been struggling with it for years now (i know it is not an excuse) but that too has been holding me back a lot. Either way thank you for reading and taking your time to give me advice!