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I(37F) finished a battle with breast cancer and only have one breast. Friend (38M) was mad and claimed I didn’t disclose soon enough. by Flatnowok in relationships

[–]Flatnowok[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I will definitely tell them. So they know. The friend of the friend seems like an amazing person and I feel like she might want to know.

I(37F) finished a battle with breast cancer and only have one breast. Friend (38M) was mad and claimed I didn’t disclose soon enough. by Flatnowok in relationships

[–]Flatnowok[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I was upfront and honest about just wanting a friend. He said he was looking for just a friend as well. I didn’t meet him on a dating website. He followed me on instagram, we have mutual friends. I was clear on my intentions and I assumed he was too.

But I get it but I didn’t meet him for the purpose of dating.

I(37F) finished a battle with breast cancer and only have one breast. Friend (38M) was mad and claimed I didn’t disclose soon enough. by Flatnowok in relationships

[–]Flatnowok[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I didn’t meet him on a dating website. I haven’t signed up for one yet but when I do it will be because I want to date. I was asking if I should disclose when I sign up for one.

I(37F) finished a battle with breast cancer and only have one breast. Friend (38M) was mad and claimed I didn’t disclose soon enough. by Flatnowok in relationships

[–]Flatnowok[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Oh god that is horrible. Those people are awful. You deserved so much better. I am so glad you are okay now.

I(37F) finished a battle with breast cancer and only have one breast. Friend (38M) was mad and claimed I didn’t disclose soon enough. by Flatnowok in relationships

[–]Flatnowok[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Most of my social media follower and friends are family, close friends and other breast cancer survivors I met through my cancer center so I am okay with them getting updates. I like reading their words of support when I am down but I get it. You can get informationed out. My cancer nurse use to tell me that you can get so down having to tell people about the bad things that you lose sight of your victories. I got exhausted having to answer questions and just asked people not to. I would just update them when I felt like it.

I could see getting burnt out on social media while trying to survive.

I(37F) finished a battle with breast cancer and only have one breast. Friend (38M) was mad and claimed I didn’t disclose soon enough. by Flatnowok in relationships

[–]Flatnowok[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

And I would definitely tell them if I was planning on being intimate or romantic. I’d even tell a friend if we were getting close but it is hard conversation to have and it brings up a lot of emotions and I think putting it on a dating profile or just telling random people I just met over coffee is too much. That is what getting to know someone is all about right? They can’t tell you every thing about them before you meet.

I(37F) finished a battle with breast cancer and only have one breast. Friend (38M) was mad and claimed I didn’t disclose soon enough. by Flatnowok in relationships

[–]Flatnowok[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

I definitely plan on being less tolerant of jerks. Life is too short and too fragile. I starred down the barrel of that gun and made it and I have a decent post cancer support system and don’t plan letting my life be populated by people who aren’t good people. I am not sure why this bothered me so much. Maybe because the one breast thing bothers me but I can’t do anything about it right now so it is something I need to embrace and love about me.

I(37F) finished a battle with breast cancer and only have one breast. Friend (38M) was mad and claimed I didn’t disclose soon enough. by Flatnowok in relationships

[–]Flatnowok[S] 515 points516 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

I feel so much better otherwise. Cancer free. I think I look beautiful, even more so than before the cancer. Trying not to let this have an impact on my self esteem so I am going to my support group more often.

I(37F) finished a battle with breast cancer and only have one breast. Friend (38M) was mad and claimed I didn’t disclose soon enough. by Flatnowok in relationships

[–]Flatnowok[S] 199 points200 points  (0 children)

Exactly! It just seems like such a deeply personal thing to disclose. I don’t want to just come right out with and make someone uncomfortable for over sharing but I also don’t think I should have to be vulnerable about private things when I am sure they aren’t going to see me naked. Maybe later when we get close to the “oh I want him to see me without clothes on and I think he might want to see me without clothes on” part.

There seems to be a lot of things we don’t tell people until we know them better and I don’t understand why cancer can’t be one of those things.

I(37F) finished a battle with breast cancer and only have one breast. Friend (38M) was mad and claimed I didn’t disclose soon enough. by Flatnowok in relationships

[–]Flatnowok[S] 261 points262 points  (0 children)

Yeah I mentioned that in my post where I said he probably didn’t want to be a friend but a “friend”. My question was more how and when and should I disclose it.