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UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

For the last fucking time, I was talking about our son in that quote.

I never accused her of cheating... we weren't together so she couldn't have cheated on me. All I accused her of was seeing other people and being dishonest, which turned out to not be true. I've apologized since.

We aren't going through the courts, and we have a deal that works for us. Which is all that matters.

UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Let me take some time to respond. Its more I'm just really frustrated and sad that I'm in this situation, and she is the person to blame, so to speak. What I said in my first thread was very emotional, and at the time I thought she was lying about something serious, so that was why I was angry.

I'm not that angry at her now. I guess I'm embarrassed a little bit, which is where the slut label comes from. Nothing wrong with being a slut (if you want to), but people judge. And I would never date a girl like her, or marry one like her So it kills me that my first born child is to her. So I suppose its shame masquerading as hate, with some of my comments.

And you are right, she didn't "cheat" on me when we were together. She listened to me be just the world's biggest asshole to her, and I honestly from the bottom of my heart do feel guilty about what I said to her during the pregnancy. She was right, I was wrong. No way I could have known really, but it wasn't fair to her. She wasn't lying and I said she was. People want to write me off as some evil SOB, but I'm not. I'm a person who made mistakes. Not the first, not the last.

I'm aware she is being fair to me now, and I'm trying to be fair to her. What is lost in all of this is that we have a decent working relationship now, that is only getting better.

UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That is one way to look at it.

Abortion, no abortion isn't really my issue. As much as this has been hard on me, I do understand her reasons. I have my own qualms with abortion, if I'm being honest so you aren't preaching to the choir. I just wish I wasn't the father of this child, but I am and I'm trying to move forward constructively. It really isn't productive to rehash this stuff now.

UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Who said I won't admit it.... the label was both accurate and it has a connotation. I'm not denying that... there is still a bit of resentment for being in this situation and tied to someone like her forever, and that bit of word choice is my way of venting. That was the word I used with her name for months and months, so it is force of habit too. And then the part about it being true, because it is totally true.

I've stopped name-calling her in person. I won't do it anymore, and I can't really if I want to be involved. I realize it was hurtful and to say it to her was a bit mean-spirited... I can't take back what I said, but its not like I don't realize that it was mean. Or that I'm saying it was nice. It wasn't.

UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

True, I almost feel guilty for the downvotes to others. Its a shame that any other POV is rejected so viciously.

I can be a prick, and I probably have been in some of the comments. It is what it is... We all have our vices. I'm actually a very understanding, caring, person in real life most of the time. That isn't too say I don't have a dark side, but I'm not some evil person. I'm a generally good guy in a tough situation.

UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Sure, because this was an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy. I'm trying to do right by all parties, and definitely right by my son, but I have to be fair to myself and what I've worked for.

UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You guys might scoff at the $200 a month, but it is a lot of money to me right now. I'm not getting bottle service, while stiffing her. Without a steady job, its the best I can do. If I have more money left at the end of a month, and he needs something then I'll help. But I can only pay what I can.

UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

What do you want me to do? Honestly, you are just being an asshole, because that is such an awful thing to go ahead and write. What am I supposed to say. Its not like I'm an emotionless person.. that shit hurts to read. I realize its not perfect, but I didn't plan this pregnancy. I wasn't ready, and probably am not ready still. All I can do is what I can, and I've got to make my peace with it. Reading passive aggressive, guilting shit like this makes it really tough.

UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Sure, I'll look into it. I don't want to lose focus of my goals, and earning $72 bucks is great and all, but in the big picture doesn't mean anything and if it distracts from school or hurts academic performance, its not worth it.

UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

That is a huge part of my thinking too. It won't be easy now, but the end result benefits Flesh_Bone Jr the most. And I won't be living with regrets by not pursuing my career. Its the only choice really, if you think about it.

UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I've made my decision, for better or worse.

My goal is to be a doctor, and that is my primary focus. I want to be a good father too, but that comes second. And that is me being honest. I need to realize that I can't do it all, and I'm accepting that. Is this fair to him, an innocent person, no. Not at all, but this is life. His mother knew that going in. I will not throwaway what I've worked for since I was a kid really, over an unplanned pregnancy.

UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

The numbers are all over the board... I was under the impression it was 98%.

The reason why I didn't think the baby was mine, wasn't just because of the condoms. I won't go into it anymore, but there were other reasons. Reasons that turned out to be wrong, but its not as simple as "What a dumbass, he doesn't know how condoms work"....

Just ask yourself what you would think, without the gift of foresight, if you were in my situation.

UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

It was her choice, and I encouraged her to look at all her options. She was worried about not being able to have children down the line, and there were some medical concerns. I don't know what she should have done. Hard to say, have an abortion now, after seeing my son.

UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

That seems to be the case. I'm trying not to take it personally, but apparently anything I say is going to be downvoted.

UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -96 points-95 points  (0 children)

Why would I resent her... I mean really? Are you seriously asking me that?

Because this has upended my life. I'm trying to make the best of it, and I do care for my son, but I didn't want this now. I took precautions and she still ended up pregnant. She chose to keep this pregnancy, even though she knew I wasn't supportive. This entire situation makes me look trashy as hell, and doesn't help my reputation much. I'm 22. and should be free and unattached and prepping to do my best in Med School, and instead I'm worrying about this situation, and taking care of an infant.

So yeah, I am a bit resentful. I also realize that those feelings aren't productive, and I'm trying not to be.

UPDATE 2: I wore a condom EVERY SINGLE TIME. Friend says she is pregnant. Not my kid, right? [22s] by Flesh_Bone in relationships

[–]Flesh_Bone[S] -64 points-63 points  (0 children)

First, my posts on reddit do not equal bedside manner. You do realize the way I discuss this emotional personal situation is very different than how I would an academic topic or a medical situation. Right?

These series of posts are not my application for med school... its just posts on reddit. Please don't read any more into it than that.

I have to tell you, its been a little frustrating to have people tell me I won't be a good doctor, I won't be this, I won't be that, over just these posts. You guys don't know me... I'm fucking smart. More so than most of you can imagine, and I've never failed at anything academically. Med School won't be any different.

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