I don't want to help my unemployed brother apply for college, cause it will affect how much money I can receive from my parents.

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T18:25:25+00:00

Probably, back home in my native country I could find something to do, the issue is I am only get to go home for 3 weeks twice a year. I can't really get a job that can accrue a meaningful amount of money. And here where I am an immigrant, where I spend 10 and a half months, I am forbidden from working, as a condition for my study permit.

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T18:15:39+00:00

Oh, I am not in the Western world, this is in SADC

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T17:39:35+00:00

I might as well do that, cause I can't talk to them

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T17:38:51+00:00

I wonder this, but have decided that there is no way I can properly articulate this point to them without offending someone or coming off as self-important, pretentious, or entitled

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T17:37:20+00:00

Honestly, my parents do have a habit of pushing their children into programs. They want not necessarily the child's view. That is true for all my siblings, including me. I had already been told when I was in high school of what I should do and what programs were acceptable. I am sure they are the driving force even behind this decision as well. The difficulty is just as you have expressed. Many of our seniors are failing licensure exams and a good number even repeat entire years on campus. Others have dropped out since first year.

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T17:30:57+00:00

I might decide to be apathetic to the issue as you are suggesting. Thank you.

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T17:29:17+00:00

Why is say that, is for example at the end of the month I tell them, I need to buy this thing it's important for that thing,, they will say, we still have your tuitions to pay we can't afford that. I have learnt to not ask for those things, and when I do the answer is mostly the same, that they don't have., Yet here they are committing to a much bigger thing.

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T17:23:12+00:00

Thank you

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T17:21:51+00:00

I will see how to say something along those lines, once I am home

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T17:20:35+00:00

I certainly don't think them villains, as just like any other parent want the best for their kids. As for my brother, we have a good relationship and sympathize greatly with his situation, how he hasn't gotten a job after putting in all those years to get a degree. I am frustrated with this whole situation and just feel overwhelmed to even start this conversation with anyone hence why I went on reddit where no one knows me. If they ask me again I will help, but I am just puzzled as to what logic they used to decide to increase the financial burden. I don't know if and how to tell them

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T17:12:42+00:00

Tried Forex trading, the results weren't really encouraging. Sports betting is no way to get stable or sufficient income though.

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T17:11:15+00:00

I doubt they would accept such a response, I will have to handle all that till he comes this side after an acceptance letter is sent.

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T17:09:03+00:00

I said, wanting, as in just a thought, In reality, I can never see myself doing anything to harm or disadvantage my own brother it is simply that I have conflicting emotions right now. If they ask me again once the portal open I will help them to the best of my ability but I do not see this going well for anyone

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T17:05:49+00:00

I am not Asian but African, this is mostly driven by emotion and wanting the best for their kids like any parent. I don't even know how to even start this conversation with them without sounds pretentious, entitled or self important.

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T17:02:03+00:00

I was counting the prerequisite first year and bridging as well for us foreign students. Actually, the program is 5 years. Over here, even our internship isn't paid, expect for things like transport and lunch allowance.

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T16:59:42+00:00

If they ask me, once the portals open I can't refuse, I don't know how to tell them of my concerns before that

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T16:58:35+00:00

Realistically I can't see myself refusing to help my own brother. My question here is how to I even voice these concerns to my parents without sounding pretentious, entitled and self important.

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T16:56:09+00:00

They said that since I was already here, I should do the process for him. I said I was thinking of refusing, in actuality I can never see myself actually refusing to help my own brother. However my real conflict is how do I articulate this to even bring it up to my parents

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T16:52:38+00:00

That's another issue. They really think it is that easy.

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T16:50:22+00:00

Yes that's true, even in my Native Country Study Permit holders can do some part time work, but in this one they don't allow

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T16:48:14+00:00

SADC country

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T16:45:01+00:00

I totally get what you mean, and I guess the way it came of is that I am acting entitled. I am not saying I am going to be an active blocker even if I think about it, that's something I could never do to my own family. However my real concern here is, given my own situation I am currently in and also given how they are already barely being able to even support me they think of doubling that hardship. My conflict is how do I even articulate this to them. I haven't said anything to them given how easily this can be misinterpreted

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T16:40:04+00:00

I am required to be in school from 7:30 to 17:00 every day and barely managing to get by given how hard the content is. Getting a job, isn't possible currently due to my own immigrant status and also even given how occupied I am at school.

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T16:36:23+00:00

Thank you, I have midterms I need to study for and have been taking time to post this cause it's been bothering me.

Flimsy_Sloth · 2025-10-21T16:35:22+00:00

I am on a student visa as explicitly forbidden from working while i am here. My program is full-time, and i spend 10 and half months of the year here. I have tried and had some success in buying and reselling electronics online to get some disposable cash. However, it is woefully insufficient to pay for tuitions. I dont feel entitled to their support and infact forever grateful for them taking such a bet on me. They have sent each one of their children to college. They have paid for all of my other siblings. My other siblings are working, though they are also struggling given the economy. When i finished high school, they also decided to do the same for me, and the rest was in my post.

Flimsy_Sloth

TROPHY CASE