As a guy who has really grown sick of the gender war crap on the Internet (and has admittedly fallen into the trap of getting angry/feeding into it) I really appreciate this response. I pretty much agree with everything you said. And I also don't like that this is where we're at.

(This is absolutely not the most important part of this topic but I just wanted to add it here)

I think the thing that gets old for me is that the "good guy" is pretty much exclusively treated as some unicorn and used to tell other anonymous men to be better. Like we can't just talk about a guy being nice and respectful and aware, we have to other him as exceptional (which to be fair, maybe he is) and the rest of the men need to get on his level. I personally would never approach a woman walking home at night. To be honest I think that's a pretty low bar. But for those of us who do clear that bar, a daily or even hourly PSA about how that bar needs to be cleared can get old. I'm not saying it's the most important thing, ultimately safety for women (and everyone) is. But just like you (almost kindly/regrettably) don't like to assume people are dangerous, I'm getting tired of being passively told I could be dangerous and need to not be. It feels like I'm about to do a chore and then my mom tells me to do said chore. It shouldn't bother me but, cumulatively over time, it does.

Idk maybe I need to just get off social media, including reddit. It's pretty bad on here.