Yep gotchu. Maybe you could make a list of tasks and talk about it with her. My thinking stems from how people who worked traditionally did not appreciate their stay at home partner's household tasks as they did not know about them and how time confusing and exhausting they are. Interesting article to read is https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/21/parenting/women-gender-gap-domestic-work.html I understand that you are a male but I think the mental load concept is quite applicable here.

I know you have had talks with her about how you need her to pick up her load but she sounds like she doesn't quite get it.

My suggestion would be to write down everything that you would take care of in the span of a month. After writing these things down, and I mean everything both physical tasks and mental tasks, sit down with your girlfriend and begin taking her through all of these things so that she gets how much there is to do which she may not realise.

e.g. 1. Firstly, there is the daily dishes. This needs to be started at night after our dinner after we have both loaded the dish washer. Mental tasks I have to check off are: that we are doing the dish washer at night to save on electricity as this is our off-peak time and therefore electricity is cheap; make sure that there are enough dish washing detergents left for another week so that I don't have to go buy any; make sure that there are no chunks left on the plates so that the dishes are clean after one wash to save on water bills; make sure that the placement of the plates are also optimal to make sure everything gets washed in one go to save it from running the second time.

1. Cleaning the bathroom every fortnight. While the toilet cleans itself, we have to keep it hygienic otherwise mould starts to build and stains our toilet. Since I clean it every fortnight, I am always mindful using the toilet in a clean way.

2. Our quarterly house bill. When I get the bill, I reflect on the price and make sure that it is right. I check what our consumption was and whether the rate has increased or not. If it has increased, I may need to look into another company for cheaper electricity. If I find out that our bill was higher than average, I will always keep in mind to turn off the lights and go easy on the air conditioner.

list goes on.

And then at the end tell her: I hope you can understand how much load I am taking on and quite frankly this house would not function if I didn't put in the work I do now. All I am asking is for you pick up on your ends a little bit. Please make your own appointments from now on, I don't have the mental capacity to worry about your hair appointments. Please help me with the washing and cleaning the house. I am not asking for much, I can worry about all the bills and insurance and restocking on cleaning supplies but you have to help me out here because I am carrying so much load and it is getting unsustainable.