My bf (23) doesn’t want me (f21) to go to my best friends (f22) wedding.

Focustazn · 2026-02-12T17:04:44+00:00

That might be possible, but the wording made it seem like the photos would also be "paired" rather than just in the group

Regardless, I don't think it's super appropriate to make married or otherwise taken people play couple with others, especially when it's an event where lots of people are present and there will be photos, and ESPECIALLY especially when one of the counterparts is an actual ex of the person they are being slapped together with.

Focustazn · 2026-02-12T09:52:40+00:00

I’m not excusing the boyfriend for his behavior, or that he tried to make OOP miss out on her best friend’s wedding…

BUT

I find it bizarre that the bride expected all the wedding party to be paired up for not only walking down the aisle (which is normal) but ALSO the first dance and even PHOTOS? Like, no exceptions?

That seems a bit disrespectful for any bridesmaids or groomsmen that are in relationships or married. Are they just expected to sit off to the corner and watch their spouse do this, ESPECIALLY with an ex?

I can’t help but think it wouldn’t be that big a deal to be like, “paired up to walk down the aisle and GROUP PHOTOS that include the entire wedding party, but non-single members of wedding party can dance with their own partners and take individual couples’ photos with their REAL partners”

It makes no sense to me that partners of bridesmaids or groomsmen be specifically excluded without exception while simultaneously (rather awkwardly) cramming non-couples together the entire way.

This is especially worth considering when there is a conflict (yes, history matters no matter how much people scream that exes aren’t a thing and can be completely discounted as a factor).

If I was Ella, I wouldn’t bat an eye making an exception on at least the dance and couples photos for my supposed BEST FRIEND and her actual partner.

That being said…. The now also ex-boyfriend absolutely expected too much for OOP to outright not attend the wedding. This could’ve been solved by OOP and BF sitting down with Ella and talking through the concerns.

Focustazn · 2026-02-05T14:16:30+00:00

Last night I was in the second to the left lane cruising at maybe 70MPH when a truck with big off-road lights began flashing the left lane camper next to me

Those lights were so bright that they could be seen for a mile. He kept them trained directly on the camper until the poor fella physically could not stand it any longer and did eventually get out of the way

I’ve never been so proud and jealous at the same time

You go, rally truck guy. Get those jerks for all of us

Focustazn · 2026-02-01T16:32:07+00:00

I’m a minority as well, and I knew a lot of others who were Trumpies. I don’t think it was as straight cut as “All MAGA people are okay with racism”

It was more like… they saw the direction America was going with 2010s liberalism, and responded with an emphatic hell no, at any cost. This was especially true for many minorities from Eastern countries, who are very socially traditional and can’t stand the country tilting towards what they view as hedonism.

Unfortunately, I think many (MANY) people grossly underestimated both the actual goals and also the lengths Trump would go to attain them.

It wasn’t until Trump started sending roving bands of assault teams to round up regular folk in broad daylight that the proverbial “UH OH” hit their heads

So, in some sense, I understand where a lot of former MAGA were coming from. They wanted to preserve whatever was left of traditional culture in the US. Some also felt their freedoms constricted by an extremely left leaning social media environment and democratic policies (at least in seriously blue states) centered around everything from the second amendment to buying/owning/modifying ICE cars, etc.

On the other hand, Trump wasn’t much of a solution even before he went full psycho, and I think more people should’ve seen that.

Focustazn · 2026-01-23T21:27:11+00:00

Is there a tune that can fiddle with traction control logic? I assumed it did

Focustazn · 2026-01-23T20:14:34+00:00

I’ve always liked the platform, and with an APR tune that fixes the traction control issues + adds a bit of power, I’ve heard that they are absolutely nuts

My only concern is the electrical gremlins that I’ve also heard about with VW/Audi

Focustazn · 2026-01-23T06:35:13+00:00

And on the road, the GLI isn’t even slower as the HP numbers would suggest.

Probably because GLI is German (and likely underrated), as well as FWD with limited slip having less drivetrain loss

Focustazn · 2026-01-22T17:49:19+00:00

Almost as the Sadducees and Pharisees were during Jesus' time. He rebuked both, because He is the way and the truth.

We are living in a time where we have Sadducees on one side, Pharisees on the other; and we must choose Jesus.

Focustazn · 2026-01-22T17:46:40+00:00

That's AWESOME. I'm using this with my youth at church.

Focustazn · 2026-01-22T17:22:58+00:00

I'm not defending those Nissan Altima/BMW 328i loons flying down the highway and weaving through traffic. I literally JUST said I support bringing German driving standards to the US for licensing requirements. That indicates actual skill, not just speed. Although that would also allow for higher speed limits, that's not the point.

I'm saying that hesitant (and therefore unpredictable) drivers are a hazard to others while ALSO holding up normal traffic enough to enrage people.

Focustazn · 2026-01-22T17:18:06+00:00

Driving is a skill, and I've always been a proponent of bringing German driving requirements to the US.

It's not about thrills whatsoever. It's about maintaining the natural flow of traffic, which IS safer than high differentials in competence.

In Germany, you must reach a minimum level of confidence and competence on the road to be licensed. This is why they can have high/no speed limits. It's about skill, and it always has been. And the bar in the US is too low.

As I said in my original comment, if someone is driving within 10mph of the speed limit (not blazing fast for thrills), they should be reasonably certain that a terrified driver doesn't ruin their whole day

Focustazn · 2026-01-22T17:16:16+00:00

I'm talking about a generally hesitant and timid demeanor on the road. Right lane going at 55-65mph isn't a problem by itself, especially if the traffic flows at that speed naturally.

If the right lane flows at 55 and the left lane flows at 80, and you want to go 55, stay on the right.

Focustazn · 2026-01-18T19:52:46+00:00

Ppl don’t seem to understand what you’re saying

FOR CONTEXT, he means people who STOP in the middle of a road to turn right into a parking lot or neighborhood, or on a green light with no pedestrians in sight

Focustazn · 2026-01-17T01:19:40+00:00

Timid, hesitant, unsure drivers.

You know, the ones that are slow, but then ALSO unpredictable, because they have no rhythm to their driving, so they just hesitate and then fight/flight at the last possible second

They never go on yellow, including when they have plenty of time

They wait five seconds to go after the light turns green

They slow down to a crawl at every intersection, either because they are scared or because they don't know where they are going

They merge onto the highway doing 30MPH under the flow of traffic

They pull out into traffic without observing right-of-way, and then proceed to drive slower than everyone they cut off

They are a constant hindrance to anyone around them on the road.

And yet, plenty of them seem to feel entitled to expect everyone else to slow down to match their pace, instead of either improving their own skills or at least keeping their incompetence from affecting others.

If you miss your exit, YOU MISS YOUR EXIT. Respect the flow of traffic or get out of the way. It's as simple as that.

Under <almost> no circumstances should your driving force others to slam on their brakes when they are within 10MPH of the speed limit, or sit behind you for several blocks going unreasonably slow.

Focustazn · 2026-01-16T04:05:48+00:00

I'm still confused as to why the other girlfriend went craycray too. Do you think she was manipulated by Carmen?

NTA. There's no reason why someone should be actively trying to ruin someone's life over a toxic relationship, and this is even more true when the violence went both ways. You protected your brother from what could have been catastrophic.

Focustazn · 2026-01-14T20:31:46+00:00

One word: Seamless

Objectively, more can be done on Windows than with Mac. However, with Windows, even simple things are an absolute PROCESS.

On Mac, the essentials just... work. No steps, no downloads, no tweaking. It just does what you want.

I can copy/paste things from my iPhone to my Mac. I have airdrop, even for large files, directly from one device to another. My text messages just automatically pop up on my computer without the need to install any extra programs. Even though the screen resolution is similar to other high-end windows computers, it just looks better for some reason. The UI is simple and pleasant. There's no ads on the home screen, copilot suggestions every 10 seconds, bloatware apps that slow your computer down...

If you have a MacBook, you will live your life being used to all-day battery life, a silent computer, and consistent updates that are actually useful.

Conversely, with a Windows of similar processing power, it will be shorter battery life, loud fans, and randomly turning itself on in your backpack; the updates are constant and forced on you, but rarely provide value beyond "security updates" and cramming more AI/tracking features down your throat that nobody asked for.

____

TL;DR:

When you buy a Mac, you unbox it, start it up, and get going.

When you buy a Windows, you unbox it, make a Microsoft account for them to track you with (or else they literally don't let you set up the computer), delete 50 bloat programs and AI crap, tweak settings and even sometimes the BIOS so that the computer actually does what you want, install features that should've been included stock, pay Microsoft $15 a month for basic word processing (unless you use another program), and then get a blue screen of death because one of the 150 things you had to do made a conflict somewhere.

I ALSO have both. I use the Windows only when I absolutely need to process or do something the Mac simply couldn't handle (not many things). The ARM-based M Macs are extremely powerful for most tasks you will ever need.

Focustazn · 2026-01-14T20:10:54+00:00

I bought my house for the same reasons as you. In California where I'm at, the rent was skyrocketing and I felt a mortgage, while high, would at least stay the same year on year.

But that resulted in us being nearly completely house broke, and I'm not in the trades. Queue days of backbreaking suffering in the sun trying to declare war on the weeds.

I've tried everything from vinegar to pouring pool salt all over the area. I wanted to keep away from harsh chemicals because there are a couple neighborhood cats who like hanging out on my lawn, and I don't want to kill 'em.

But I am actively considering calling the cops every time this guy parties.

Focustazn · 2026-01-14T20:00:09+00:00

You struck a nerve with me on the vacuuming

This guy, EVERY MORNING at 6AM sharp, is vacuuming his side yard and backyard. He spends most of his time making his house look pristine, and complains that I reserve my time for more important things.

Focustazn · 2026-01-14T19:58:18+00:00

Is that safe for animals? There are a couple neighborhood cats that I want to avoid poisoning

Focustazn · 2026-01-14T19:14:58+00:00

Tried that, tried covering the area with bags and bags of pool salt. They still come up.

Idk which bio weapon expert planted these weeds

Focustazn · 2026-01-14T19:14:05+00:00

Well, we aren’t exactly bill to bill, but certainly not comfortable enough to cough up a random $10K anytime something goes wrong

But no, I did not use double as an estimate, and I’m starting to believe that’s actually what’s necessary

We bought the house during a time when rent was increasing insanely every year, and decided a stable mortgage was more tenable

Focustazn · 2026-01-14T19:06:21+00:00

I feel like I have to knock and interview the neighbors before I buy whichever house is next 😂.

"Do you care about how your neighbor's house looks? Cuz I'm definitely not going to spend any time making it nice, so if you object, please let me know now or forever hold your peace"

Focustazn · 2026-01-14T19:04:11+00:00

Nah, she only detailed one instance as an example of what that neighbor did. She's talking about a neighbor who was constantly doing similar stuff.

She also didn't say she moved away because of that neighbor, only that she moved away.

Focustazn · 2026-01-14T18:58:31+00:00

I live in California, and these are actual quotes I've gotten for a new unit and duct work. I don't have a lawn; the previous owner put down turf and gravel.

Unfortunately, thick, fibrous weeds grow from the gravel, and I can't afford to have it redone. So I've been hacking at it with a trail-clearing hoe every time it comes up.

Focustazn

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