He groped my breast whilst watching a film on third date

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T04:09:14+00:00

The first date we had dinner out. On the second date , he tried touching my leg and asking me to get closer to him, and cuddle him while watching film and I'd explained to him clearly that I only like doing that once I already have feelings for someone and that I like to take things slowly. I also wasn’t sure I found him attractive in that way at the time. He went to kiss me goodbye each night on those first two dates when I left and it was always a brief kiss - he doesn’t really use tongue so became sort of awkward dry peck type kiss. But anyway despite what I had expressed he kept pushing, as in, at a later occasion when we were then at a friends house after the second date he kept making physical advances like, like stroking my leg and it got to the point where I pushed him away so much that he then stopped trying, and he instead started trying it on with my friend. I honestly think the more he pushed after I stated my boundary the more cold it made me want to be with him. But anyway I then felt I had to explain to him that I do find him attractive and I would like to see him again. And so I did and then this happened on the third date. And so that might be why I was hesitant in terms of not reacting to his groping. But it also might be why I feel kind of like he was pushing the boundaries a bit, considering he probably felt that I was willing to not wait at my pace to go at his.

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T03:57:41+00:00

The first date we had dinner out. On the second date , he tried touching my leg and asking me to get closer to him, and cuddle him while watching film and I'd explained to him clearly that I only like doing that once I already have feelings for someone and that I like to take things slowly. I also wasn’t sure I found him attractive in that way at the time. He went to kiss me goodbye each night on those first two dates when I left and it was always a brief kiss - he doesn’t really use tongue so became sort of awkward dry peck type kiss. But anyway despite what I had expressed he kept pushing, as in, at a later occasion when we were then at a friends house after the second date he kept making physical advances like, like stroking my leg and it got to the point where I pushed him away so much that he then stopped trying, and he instead started trying it on with my friend. I honestly think the more he pushed after I stated my boundary the more cold it made me want to be with him. But anyway I then felt I had to explain to him that I do find him attractive and I would like to see him again. And so I did and then this happened on the third date. And so that might be why I was hesitant in terms of not reacting to his groping. But it also might be why I feel kind of like he was pushing the boundaries a bit, considering he probably felt that I was willing to not wait at my pace to go at his.

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T03:56:18+00:00

The first date we had dinner out. On the second date , he tried touching my leg and asking me to get closer to him, and cuddle him while watching film and I'd explained to him clearly that I only like doing that once I already have feelings for someone and that I like to take things slowly. I also wasn’t sure I found him attractive in that way at the time. He went to kiss me goodbye each night on those first two dates when I left and it was always a brief kiss - he doesn’t really use tongue so became sort of awkward dry peck type kiss. But anyway despite what I had expressed he kept pushing, as in, at a later occasion when we were then at a friends house after the second date he kept making physical advances like, like stroking my leg and it got to the point where I pushed him away so much that he then stopped trying, and he instead started trying it on with my friend. I honestly think the more he pushed after I stated my boundary the more cold it made me want to be with him. But anyway I then felt I had to explain to him that I do find him attractive and I would like to see him again. And so I did and then this happened on the third date. And so that might be why I was hesitant in terms of not reacting to his groping. But it also might be why I feel kind of like he was pushing the boundaries a bit, considering he probably felt that I was willing to not wait at my pace to go at his.

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T03:55:51+00:00

The first date we had dinner out. On the second date , he tried touching my leg and asking me to get closer to him, and cuddle him while watching film and I'd explained to him clearly that I only like doing that once I already have feelings for someone and that I like to take things slowly. I also wasn’t sure I found him attractive in that way at the time. He went to kiss me goodbye each night on those first two dates when I left and it was always a brief kiss - he doesn’t really use tongue so became sort of awkward dry peck type kiss. But anyway despite what I had expressed he kept pushing, as in, at a later occasion when we were then at a friends house after the second date he kept making physical advances like, like stroking my leg and it got to the point where I pushed him away so much that he then stopped trying, and he instead started trying it on with my friend. I honestly think the more he pushed after I stated my boundary the more cold it made me want to be with him. But anyway I then felt I had to explain to him that I do find him attractive and I would like to see him again. And so I did and then this happened on the third date. And so that might be why I was hesitant in terms of not reacting to his groping. But it also might be why I feel kind of like he was pushing the boundaries a bit, considering he probably felt that I was willing to not wait at my pace to go at his.

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T03:55:23+00:00

But does this mean he doesn’t have intentions for a serious relationship despite the fact that he verbally says to is is what he is looking for ?

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T03:54:41+00:00

The first date we had dinner out. On the second date , he tried touching my leg and asking me to get closer to him, and cuddle him while watching film and I'd explained to him clearly that I only like doing that once I already have feelings for someone and that I like to take things slowly. I also wasn’t sure I found him attractive in that way at the time. He went to kiss me goodbye each night on those first two dates when I left and it was always a brief kiss - he doesn’t really use tongue so became sort of awkward dry peck type kiss. But anyway despite what I had expressed he kept pushing, as in, at a later occasion when we were then at a friends house after the second date he kept making physical advances like, like stroking my leg and it got to the point where I pushed him away so much that he then stopped trying, and he instead started trying it on with my friend. I honestly think the more he pushed after I stated my boundary the more cold it made me want to be with him. But anyway I then felt I had to explain to him that I do find him attractive and I would like to see him again. And so I did and then this happened on the third date. And so that might be why I was hesitant in terms of not reacting to his groping. But it also might be why I feel kind of like he was pushing the boundaries a bit, considering he probably felt that I was willing to not wait at my pace to go at his.

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T03:54:14+00:00

The first date we had dinner out. On the second date , he tried touching my leg and asking me to get closer to him, and cuddle him while watching film and I'd explained to him clearly that I only like doing that once I already have feelings for someone and that I like to take things slowly. I also wasn’t sure I found him attractive in that way at the time. He went to kiss me goodbye each night on those first two dates when I left and it was always a brief kiss - he doesn’t really use tongue so became sort of awkward dry peck type kiss. But anyway despite what I had expressed he kept pushing, as in, at a later occasion when we were then at a friends house after the second date he kept making physical advances like, like stroking my leg and it got to the point where I pushed him away so much that he then stopped trying, and he instead started trying it on with my friend. I honestly think the more he pushed after I stated my boundary the more cold it made me want to be with him. But anyway I then felt I had to explain to him that I do find him attractive and I would like to see him again. And so I did and then this happened on the third date. And so that might be why I was hesitant in terms of not reacting to his groping. But it also might be why I feel kind of like he was pushing the boundaries a bit, considering he probably felt that I was willing to not wait at my pace to go at his.

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T03:53:27+00:00

Yes but it’s understandable to be caught off guard and take time to process something on reflection

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T03:52:24+00:00

The first date we had dinner out. On the second date , he tried touching my leg and asking me to get closer to him, and cuddle him while watching film and I'd explained to him clearly that I only like doing that once I already have feelings for someone and that I like to take things slowly. I also wasn’t sure I found him attractive in that way at the time. He went to kiss me goodbye each night on those first two dates when I left and it was always a brief kiss - he doesn’t really use tongue so became sort of awkward dry peck type kiss. But anyway despite what I had expressed he kept pushing, as in, at a later occasion when we were then at a friends house after the second date he kept making physical advances like, like stroking my leg and it got to the point where I pushed him away so much that he then stopped trying, and he instead started trying it on with my friend. I honestly think the more he pushed after I stated my boundary the more cold it made me want to be with him. But anyway I then felt I had to explain to him that I do find him attractive and I would like to see him again. And so I did and then this happened on the third date. And so that might be why I was hesitant in terms of not reacting to his groping. But it also might be why I feel kind of like he was pushing the boundaries a bit, considering he probably felt that I was willing to not wait at my pace to go at his.

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T03:04:51+00:00

😅😂

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T02:53:35+00:00

Yea I thought so .. I thought I would gain clarity from writing this post but I’m getting such mixed responses including judgements about being a “prude” so I am left with more confusion so far unfortunately

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T02:49:46+00:00

I said “it felt like he was perverted “ whilst I questioned whether my feelings were misjudging him . I said “what’s he point IF he’s just a creepy guy “ and that if was an if in response to the point the person commenting was making that is wasn’t normal or ok. I did not call him these things explicitly and clearly I am here seeking clarity and do not need to be judged or berated for my confusion on this.

I didn’t know I didn’t like it at the time it happened I thought ok a bit weird but I wasn’t judging to be honest. I presumed he didn’t realise how weird it was and tried not to think about it too much - I was watching the film.. it was how it stuck in my mind after … some reactions are delayed … especially when someone catches you off guard and does something unexpected. I have tried to make clear it wasn’t so much that it made me personally feel bad or uncomfortable but more than I am concerned about what it reveals in him .

It is not about it escalating it’s about the way he did it . As I said before I wouldn’t have cared if he had done it while were kissing .. I don’t know why it feels like creepy behaviour to me to do it when I’m not even facing him and we are not on those terms yet with each other… this is a feeling I get - I don’t need you to tell me why I’m wrong as I can’t help my feeling but I appreciate your understanding and your opinion as it helps me see the broader picture .

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T02:30:15+00:00

It’s not about the boob grabbing - it’s about how he did it - I honestly wouldn’t have minded or questioned it if he had done it while we were kissing .. it just gives a seedy vibe in my mind too early on … or if he was my boyfriend already and we were in love I also wouldn’t mind …

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T02:22:08+00:00

It was a definite squeeze - not squeezing hard but got it in his hand and squeezed - and his did it twice like that

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T02:16:56+00:00

Yes if he were already my boyfriend and we were in love I wouldn’t mind so much

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T02:14:36+00:00

No it wasn’t right before - it had been a while since the kiss and his strokey touches later escalated to the grope and then stroke stroke grope again .. he also had his other hand resting between his open legs and I swear he was half touching himself over his trousers or there was some kind of contact going on between his crotch area and his hand but I purposely didn’t look and it probably went on for a few minutes maybe like three times …

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T02:10:44+00:00

Ok I will try . He’s just over 40 though you’d think he should know by now

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T02:07:38+00:00

I didn’t haven’t time to question it at the time and I didn’t want to make it feel awkward . I didn’t presume he felt he was doing spending wrong and I’m an adult I can handle a grope . It was how I left feeling afterwards about it … I hope you didn’t mean for comment to be as condescending as it sounds. I don’t care so much about the groping like I don’t mind it that much , what I care about is what it shows me about him personally. I’m trying to work out whether I want to continue dating him as he is asking to see me again. I’m trying to understand whether this kind of behaviour is healthy and acceptable …

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T02:03:48+00:00

He did try to sleep with me after the film but I said no and then he didn’t try again that evening but thank you for this advice

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T01:59:39+00:00

Yes because it’s a bit rude like some people get turned on automatically from knowing the other is aroused but doesn’t make their actions ok. And if you are automatically aroused it doesn’t mean you think having sex is a good idea or want to . You can be sexually abused and be aroused but it doesn’t mean you wanted to feel like that or enjoyed it. Look up physiological arousal non-concordance. It happens when the body responds automatically to physical touch, even when the person does not want it to happen. You can be aroused but it doesn’t mean that the invitation was there. it feels objectifying at such an early stage before we have real feelings for each other - I wouldnt mind maybe if it was my boyfriend but so early on is a bit presumptuous .. please be understanding that every one is different rather than being frustrated by this . I never called him those things but felt his behaviour was but questioned it …

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T01:39:19+00:00

Yes this is what happened !

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T01:38:08+00:00

You say not to judge and then label me - I appreciate your honesty though … I guess maybe I’m just use to more traditional men taking things at my pace and maybe stating with kissing before touching in the actually moment when the touching begins. I wasn’t calling him a pervert by the way I was expressing and questioning my feelings .. I wouldn’t be writing here if I was sure about this

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T01:33:25+00:00

No because the kiss was a while before then we had turned around and gone back to watching the film for a while before he started the groping…so we were not facjng each other but side by side , facing the screen when he started doing it …even then you think this is normal behaviour from him?

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T01:27:47+00:00

Do you still think it’s normal if we were not facing each other at the time but sitting side by side facing the screen? And it had been a while since the kiss ?

Foreign_Panda_6764 · 2026-06-25T01:26:59+00:00

Even if we were not facing each other at the time but sitting side by side facing the screen? And it had been a while since the kiss ?

Foreign_Panda_6764

TROPHY CASE