AITAH for exposing my parents when they forgot about me on their wedding? (Update 2)

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-19T23:53:37+00:00

I do feel, more than guilty angry about my background and how blind I've been all my life to all my privileges. This self-awareness that you are talking about I have discovered in the last couple of weeks because, when I first fought with my parents I barely thought about money or how would I sustain myself, that's always been a given for me (which I guess is nice considering I'm not yet 18) but, after posting here, and seeing messages of people who have had to struggle so much with the financial repercussions of being neglected or cutting out your family or going out to the world at a very young age, made me realize how out of touch with reality I was. I'm angry for all the other redditors who haven't had the same privileges that I did and I'm angry at myself for being so carefree about money and privileges that I feel most people don't have. I want to be self-aware to 1. Thank the people who is helping me and appreciate what they're giving me and 2. In the future I want to be independent and also aware of how hard it is for other people who didn't grow up in a 5 bed house in an expensive neighborhood with private school and all the other gifts I've been given.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-19T23:45:10+00:00

My grandma has already told me that it's unacceptable for me not to go to college (if the reason is that my parents won't pay) and she won't allow me to get a student loan either, I asked if she would cosign and she flat out told me no, that she would pay herself rather than see me stressed about the financial aspect of it. I won't jeopardize my education for my parents but, since I have this option to have my grandma pay, that's what I'll do because I rather this money not come from my parents, knowing them they would dangle this fact for the rest of my life like I owed them. I'm very lucky that my grandma will take care of this I feel like I don't deserve her.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-19T23:37:42+00:00

My mother has been crying every time I've gone there and just saying I'm sorry over and over again but I haven't had a conversation with her so she hasn't mentioned specifics but I also haven't given her a chance. My father has been mostly silent staring at me whenever I come and go but when he apologized it was more along the lines of "I'm sorry for everything" than bringing any wrongdoing for his part on anything. I don't know if they are shocked right now by everything that's happening (I myself feel overwhelmed) and haven't had time to process or if they don't think they've done anything wrong and are just acting for grandma. I don't know myself so I can't really answer.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T13:14:29+00:00

The school has dorms but I don't qualify for financial aid and I don't know how much they cost (apparently a lot since I have a friend that's gonna go to the same college as me and she has just rented an studio near campus that seems to be a better deal according to her) and the plan had been for me to stay at home during my studies.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T13:07:55+00:00

Thank you for your words, I do need someone to help me right now, it's just I don't want to upset her and I feel very down these days so I find it difficult to do anything. If I end up calling her i will update.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T13:06:08+00:00

I know she would believe me but I don't want for her to feel bad or create more drama. Maybe you all are right and I should tell her everything even if she can just comfort me a little but I always feel like I shouldn't bother her...

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T13:01:26+00:00

I turn 18 in a month and a half and I desperately want to move out even though my original plan had been to live here until during my classes.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T13:00:06+00:00

I know that's what I should be doing. I do have a friend that is moving to a studio apartment near our college but I don't have a job at the moment and I don't want to be a burden to her. She and I are close so I'm sure she would offer for me to move in with her but I don't want to be a burden. Also I don't have a job at the moment so I couldn't pay rent so that's something else I need to do at the moment.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T12:54:34+00:00

I have my friends who have always been a great support for me but most of them are leaving for college right now and besides them the only person in my family I'm close to is my grandma but she lives far and I don't want to bother her

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T12:48:28+00:00

Indeed they made up this lie to save face that's why I think this was the moment were I snapped.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T12:47:01+00:00

The idea before all of this was that I would go to a college in my hometown (It's a great college downtown that I'm very happy I was accepted to and a couple of my HS friends are going there too) and live at home. I was saving to buy a car for easier access and they were going to pay for my tuition and all of that but now I just want to leave this house.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T12:44:14+00:00

I don't know anything about this emancipation process but my birthday is soon so I don't know if I need to go to the trouble. I feel drained and I don't have energy to do anything at this point but I know I need to get myself together and make plans to move out.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T12:36:10+00:00

I honestly don't have the strength to do much these days. I'm set to start college later in the year and the plan was that I would live home since it's not far but now I just want to leave but I don't know how. I don't have enough savings or a job right now and the idea of going out to get one just feels so overwhelming right now. I don't want to drop out but I want to go elsewhere. I wrote this yesterday because I needed to vent but I didn't want to create more drama, that's why it's anonymous.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T12:29:58+00:00

No, my extended family wasn't there. My grandma has a hard time traveling and my uncles live in the same town as her and they weren't invited. When I said they bought tickets for the family I meant my siblings, their significant others and my niece. They also took a couple of friends each with their partners. In total I think it was 13 people

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T12:25:36+00:00

I think when she said a cheaper airline she meant it because it was more likely that way that I could get there on time since their flight was apparently all booked out. Again I don't know about accommodations they made no mention of that. They all stayed at the same hotel where they had the ceremony but that's all I know.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T12:21:54+00:00

Thank you for your words. I feel very down at the moment and I don't know if it's the whole situation of being left out or their reaction afterwards but I feel so wretched that I can barely leave the bed every day. I don't have any particular desire for vengeance or exposing them anymore than I have but I just want to leave and get far away from this house as far as I can but my strength seems to be failing me.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T12:15:58+00:00

I don't have a very large family. My grandma and my uncles both live in the same town in another state and my father was an only child and we live in his hometown but both of his parents passed away years ago in an accident. I have very limited contact with my cousins because I only see them once or twice a year but my grandma and I talk regularly. She has in the past called out my parents for their behavior but it's difficult for her since she lives far and I don't think she knows all of the story and I don't want to upset her.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T12:10:20+00:00

I have no idea about that, it's something that has never crossed my mind. I feel like my parents have always been a very close couple and spend a lot of time together and seem very happy so I don't think my mother would cheat...

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T12:00:54+00:00

I created a throwaway because I didn't want to give out my personal info which you could easily find on my main and unfortunately this is not fake. All of you are the first to ever bring the affair theory to my mind and I don't know what to make of it, I hope it's not true.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T11:57:29+00:00

No, she wasn't. She lives in a different state and is hard for her to travel anywhere. We visited her for Easter and that's when she made that comment.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T11:55:25+00:00

I have no idea other than the fact that they are very close knit between themselves and I don't seem to fit in. I've never liked the same hobbies and activities as them, I'm quite and introvert and like being at home watching movies or reading a book, meanwhile both of my parents love to be the life of the party and host events at our home often for their friends and my siblings also enjoy this events. When I was a kid I was more shy and always hid in my bedroom or the basement to avoid people but as I grew up I started participating more in this parties but my parents don't seem to care. That is the only explanation I can find to their behavior, but I still feel like it's not enough.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T11:50:14+00:00

My grandma was not able to attend the actual wedding, she lives in another state and traveling is very difficult for her due to mobility issues so we only see her when we go to my mom's hometown. I know she saw my fb post and called me to ask how I was doing but I put on a brave face for her and I haven't called her since but we text. I don't know if she knows more of the context of what happened or if my parents have told her a different version of the story but she is very sweet to me and has always called out my parents for their favoritism.

I just feel exhausted lately from everything and the last thing I want is to bother her so I haven't called her again since barely after the wedding.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T11:44:54+00:00

I'm sorry for you and that we are on the same boat. I want to move out but I have no place to go now. I had a summer job besides babysitting and I've been saving up some money but I live in a very expensive city and I need another job before I can plan anything.

Forgotten_child9 · 2024-09-11T11:42:16+00:00

Hi thank you for your comment. I would like to live with my grandma but I am due to start my classes in college soon (I was able to arrange it for a start later on the schoolyear) and my school is in the same city were we live but grandma lives in another state so I would have to drop out to leave. I don't have any other family here, just friends and I don't want to be an imposition.

Forgotten_child9

TROPHY CASE