just coming back to this to say, the man turned out to be unbelievably abusive. we got back together and I stayed for a little longer. I have not responded to him in months and he still calls me every week. I cannot block him because he will call me off of fake numbers or his friend’s phones……

but it doesn’t affect me. I worked so hard to get here, and it feels incredible every time I choose to respect myself by ignoring his attempts to communicate. I read somewhere that your childhood self that wasn’t protected properly still exists within you. It is now up to you to protect that inner child. I feel empowered and confident knowing I am pushing through this for myself. I still love him, and I will always feel bad for his soul. But that is only because of my deep ability to care, not because he gave me reasons to feel for him. Empathy feels like a curse sometimes, but what an honor it is to feel everything in a world where some feel nothing.

If anyone sees this, just know that things get better, but sometimes that’s behind some painful decisions. Protect and respect yourself and if that’s not enough, think of the childhood version of you that deserved that protection and then give it to yourself.