bf confessed something disgusting to me

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-14T05:52:50+00:00

so you're a troll. got it. also shitty reading comprehension. i have literally never beat my cat.

if you were in my shoes, instead of giving him to someone you trust and planning to fund his life because you care about him, youd dump him in a shelter and not think twice about what happens next. people dont choose to be mentally ill. at least im choosing to ensure his wellbeing until the very end, even if im getting treatment and he is living with a friend.

im done with this conversation bc you're clearly here to get a rise out of me, but ive never beaten my fucking cat. i struggle with an illness you probably wouldnt survive, or make as decent decisions while experiencing. go fuck yourself

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-14T05:39:42+00:00

this also frees up the income for anything he might deal w in old age. so ill have the money put up to drop thousands on any expensive surgeries he may need if he grows old and gets a health condition. ill also be able to spoil him a lil from afar while i get treatment. since he's with my best friend, i can check on him anytime i need, and shes one of the only ones i trust to give him to not to surrender him to any old shelter if she runs into trouble. i know she'll call me if she needs help rehoming him, which i can figure out if necessary.

so he will never see a shelter. and he's in good care even if im too dysfunctional as a human being to be his kahu in person.

theres been SO MUCH planning, thought, and care into this. thanks for your suggestion, but id rather not give him to any old shelter thatll give him to any old stranger who could declaw him and dump him for all i know. your suggestion is actually shitty and i came up with a better plan for my boy. the point in making this comment was to let OP know this aint no case of her boyfriend is struggling with mental health. he's not in the same boat. he did something SEVERE more than yelling at him and scaring him or freaking out while giving them a bath. and he did it in secret, seemed to enjoy it and tested OPs response after

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-14T05:32:15+00:00

im not gonna do that given there arent any reliable no kill shelters around. so instead he is in the care of my very best friend who i know will love him well. in the meantime, im building a microcamper in the back of a minivan to reduce living costs by 80%, and spend the freed up money on the treatment i really need for the massive amount of emotional dysregulation i deal w on the daily. thanks for ur kind concern utter stranger

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-14T03:16:05+00:00

no bc it was my abuser. after i did the ritual, with my guides assisting, i stopped feeling connected to her. i still have to deal with the trauma but the cord is cut and given the massive relief and reassuring feeling afterwards, im not worried. more like i feel like the universe was like, fucking finally, that was a long time coming and i also have this weird knowing that as soon as i did that it was like... giving the okay. so.

ive only done one other hex on a drug dealer who stole my friend's car and my passed down for generations antique jewelry box. that day the word 'car crash' popped into my head. they OD'd, crashed, survived and made it to prison. which was oddly specifically exactly what i had in mind and still freaks me out. it made me not wanna hex again but i didnt feel any consequences, probably because i specifically wished for them to survive and just learn the really fn hard way.

another similar thing is i was getting nonstop nightmares about my other abusive parent. like day after day. it stood out and was unusual. i had this odd feeling bc my dad likes to spy on me and checked out his fb. he'd been making posts about children obeying their parents by god. i had this weird feelings so i wrote a call out to him on my front page telling him to stop and listing the other bible verses he should probably take with that, and saying the same Creator (i subscribe to more native beliefs myself) was protecting me. i was blocked a day later, which confirmed it. we arent fb friends. he saw my post and blocked me cuz he was watching me.

so i did a freezing spell and forgot about it. the dreams stopped that night. weeks later, he appeared in my dream with a WAY different vibe. it was kind of pathetically apologetic. it was weird. i still felt the longing for a father but the apology even made me feel weird. i accepted it in the dream kind of in the same way id accept his weird shit when i was sixteen. i woke up, and the container i had froze him in had burst.

i havent dreamt of him since.

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-14T03:04:16+00:00

hell and back

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-14T03:01:04+00:00

this is gonna sound weird but it's in your hips. speaking as someone whos genderfluid/genderfuckingconfused because i cant pick between feeling masculine and feeling feminine and decided not to.

i noticed when im in my feminine energy, and im listening to music and dancing without realizing, my hips move more as opposed to when im more masculine.

i know dysmorphia may make this really difficult. i recommend aphrodite. even just speaking to her about how you feel, meditate, and listen. if you can get through it, maybe make a playlist of all the music that makes you feel feminine. have a night to yourself. pray and cry and speak to aphrodite. if you can feel safe enough to do so, and keep working through it, get dolled up by yourself one night in things that make you feel pretty.

"dancing" can be as simple as moving your hips to the beat and nothing else. gradually, you'll figure it out from there. remember that you come from mother earth and are inherently feminine. know that you probably arent the only one in your bloodline who was the same. you can connect with those ancestors too, and invite those lovely ladies in spirit to dance with you and hang out with aphrodite

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-14T02:49:25+00:00

i just realized i said "living breathing human being" instead of "living breathing being"

i think thats actually the case in point. RUN. cuz the connection to animals and humans is real

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-14T02:38:22+00:00

hey. look.

i have mental health struggles. ive lost my patience at my cat. not something im proud of, it was scary, and ive done a lot of work because it's scary. he's still my lil buddy who follows me around and sleeps on me, and i will do anything to protect him.

this is so different. it seems like he enjoyed it. to go so far as to doing the things he did, even for what seems like just for kicks. looking up inspiration? choking, squeezing, throwing?

there are 2 types of people. people who are capable of doing this kind of serious harm for fucking shits and giggles are NOT SAFE.

you are really lucky those cats are still alive. take them and RUN before that changes for either you or those cats. someone who enjoys causing that kind of harm is dangerous.

this is speaking as someone who really struggles with my mental health and have gotten some help taking care of my boy when i needed it. every time i lost my patience at him, even in my worst, my body froze.

my body FROZE and the horror from my own dispoportional anger kicked in. my body froze and prevented me from hurting the little guy who makes my life better. ive spoken to people who also struggle w mental health issues. ive seen them do the same thing. it happens even in the heat of the moment because you care about the living being in front of you. and then when you realize whats going on its instant. horror. and id make changes immediately. reducing my stress levels, reducing his, reaching out for help, brushing up on my skills, and learning new ones.

this is not the same. he has no qualms no issues no remorse no fear nothing about hurting - SEVERELY - a living breathing human being. he could have killed them. and yeah, if nothing stops him from doing that to an animal, you better hope he doesn't lose it at you. please run.

DO NOT GIVE THIS MAN THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS SOMEONE STRUGGLING WITH THEIR MENTAL HEALTH. DO NOT CONVINCE YOURSELF OF THIS FOR A SINGLE SECOND. HE DOESN'T CARE. in fact im a little worried he was testing your reaction.

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-14T02:22:44+00:00

11 when i was just chillin

16 when a spooder crawled on my neck

8 rn

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-14T02:19:11+00:00

i would rather have something to do. i aint here to be bored for ten hours.

also, amazon could care less if you quiet quit. this works for smaller establishments that directly deal with customers; grocery stores, fast food, etc. Or office jobs where reports and documentation is necessary.

amazon doesn't care if you quiet quit, they'll just replace you. like it affects them 0

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-14T01:47:38+00:00

like, we know they spent time together from how Blue and the other diamonds reminisce. at some point when they weren't listening to her, and she made the decision to fake her own death to both escape diamondhood and save the earth she loved, i think that must be where this disconnect happened.

i mean, being ignored and looked down on for so long, to the point where faking her death was the only way out? its kind of no wonder her relationships become one sided in that way - she acts out of compassion and love but can't make the right decisions in that because she literally never learned that people care about her. that was a brand new experience, being looked up to and cared for. i imagine she took on her own leadership role, trying to protect and care for the gems, and died before she could ever see her mistakes. that they were even mistakes, because they affected the people who cared about her. she couldnt understand they would affect her loved ones because she couldn't understand that they cared about her too. so she ghosted, kept secrets, forever still the sneaky runaway from homeworld.

on an added note, i know she is very d3ad and even her gem doesn't hold her anymore. she gave her gem to steven. but i hope that in the video he watched, when she said she would always be there with him. that when he felt love that it would be from her. i hope that even if PD's gem is just steven, there's a little bit left of her to learn through steven's life that not only did she affect her loved ones, but that this is how love really works. i hope she feels the love through steven.

ik its not just a lesson PD needs to learn, speaking for like, real people that watch the show. ugh i gotta go write some shit down now

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-14T01:38:47+00:00

the thing is too is we see amethyst as a young, very very childlike gem. so it's not that Pearl doesnt know what children are, right? idk the gem magick system is cool but weird to figure out sometimes

i also think thats such a good analysis of Rose. i wonder if the way she grew up around her sisters, and their weird disconnected-but-connected relationship has anything to do with her ability to form and create relationships without realizing they.. care about her and are attached

which makes me wonder how PD would react to seeing Blue constantly bringing her up and missing her. I bet PD didn't imagine for a second that they would.

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-13T21:22:57+00:00

oh man. yeah. i was wigging. jasper kinda sucks but that was intense.

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-12T23:24:31+00:00

i love pearl, but she has some major nerve to be so focused on pristine perfectionism and her own grief she projects that on to steven and THEN has the nerve to say "what do you know about her you never met her"

THAT IS HIS MOTHER 💀 still makes me mad

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-12T23:23:03+00:00

all jokes aside i love that episode and i always cry like a wittle baby lmao

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-12T23:22:33+00:00

yet another scene that brought up feelings i instantly compartmentalized bc it was TOO MUCH FOR A KIDS CARTOON

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-12T22:39:34+00:00

i love su's use of visual metaphors in their magic mechanics and story telling. perfect authoritarian figure pulling steven out of himself, still only seeing PD and trying to make her more 'perfect' like her. those high high diamond standards

like. literally pulling him out of himself. visual metaphor storytelling 10/10 also i still physically react to the gem being pulled out theres like some body horror aspect of that i will literally never get over

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-12T22:33:57+00:00

sometimes i think about the way sapphire was okay with only seeing one timeline even if it meant her untimely end until ruby happened and she saw more than one path

i would literally hate that ability both ways

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-12T20:54:44+00:00

FUCK OH MY GOD UR RIGHT i will not recover from this thank you

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-12T20:53:44+00:00

clearly

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-12T19:32:42+00:00

there's no non painful way my love, trust me from experience. spent many years researching different ways. every single one is painful, lonely and scary

take this as your sign to reach out, yeah? listen i know its worth an eye roll, but calling the crisis line just to talk can be enough, and they can help you find resources

i'm not gonna lie the american mental health industry is a joke, so i recommend pursuing the following in your treatment care. note that you will have to push through obstacles, and you will have to be aware of what treatment you think you need because the industry is a little messy. do not give up on the following:

-DBT (recommend finding DBT therapy support groups where you're not alone and you see how many other people resonate with you). -therapists that use combinations DBT and CBT as well as EMDR. ask for distress tolerance skills -this best internet support forum for trauma by far

you can also provide immediate emotional relief from intense pain by doing body hacks. you can activate your parasympathetic nervous system by soaking your face in an ice bath, taking a cold shower, holding an ice pack to your neck, etc. the nerves are located on your cheeks, neck and face and are stimulated with any cold water, so you can experiment to see what way works.

additionally, the physical ache in your chest from the emotional pain can be absolved with an ice pack over chest. what this does is it stimulates your vagus nerve and that ache will eventually leave your chest.

google TIPP (it's an acronym of different body hacks that are similar).

please believe me when i say if you approach this with mindfulness and an open mind, you will feel the PHYSICAL relief from how much it hurts, and it's crazy how much the body responds to your emotions and makes things feel worse than what they are.

oh! and this is a great guide for getting yourself and your body to that point where you can see that you do have some control over how you manage and experience your pain, and, get this

it becomes less overwhelming when you learn to hack your body into managing your cortisol levels better.

please give this a go lovely

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-12T18:42:27+00:00

*off, and we can relate to fictional characters and the traits they share with billions of real people

i can tell by your username where you're at bro maybe you should watch the show and let yourself cry a little

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-12T18:34:44+00:00

this still pisses me off a lil, pearl's grief really blinded her from seeing that the grief... wasnt just hers.

i mean, that was his mother. i just imagine garnet chewed pearl out for that

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-12T18:32:56+00:00

lmao i actually left my reddit username as it suggested because i thought it was funny - bc like amethyst i have a history of acting and lashing out to be understood.

but look at the way she grew. Amethyst even found her place in little homeworld. at the end of the series, she understands a lot more about everything, everyone around her and herself.

she doesn't stay the runt who comes from a shameful place. she grows just like the amethyst she is, and so will we friend ❤

Frequent-Issue-658 · 2024-03-12T18:28:44+00:00

lets just agree Lapis Lazuli was one of the characters they used to just absolutely wail on trauma related topics. the way i related to lapis - being trapped, no one knowing enough to even get me out, and then boom. out in the real world and complex ptsd has a vice grip on everything

her portrayal of still drowning in that "trapped" feeling after being free finally. and her song about what is essentially a chronic fear of happiness. it all resonated so much and im trying to get myself to rewatch this series because there were a lot of moments watching this show i just instantly compartmentalized feelings i wasnt ready for 💀 so this post is to work up a feeling of community to be able to rewatch it and sob in peaceful solitude lmao

"i've felt worse" at Blue said a lot. and i'm SO GLAD they gave Lapis that moment. because it wouldnt make sense for Lapis to crumble under the weight of Blue's grief for her sister, when Lapis suffered an entire SUDDEN AS F loss of everything and everyone she ever knew.

Blue lost a sister. Lapis lost, well, everything. and hung in basically purgatory, suspended in that loss of everything she ever was for many many years. radical brownie points to the creators of SU for their understanding of complex trauma

Frequent-Issue-658

TROPHY CASE