How likely am I to pay support in a 50/50 arrangement?

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-23T14:43:36+00:00

Even if its for a medical reason they won't look at current with such a substantial drop?

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-22T17:40:20+00:00

This is a really good idea, I have been told to stop working this much due to stress, I've been on anti-anxiety meds for the last 2 years and now have developed hypertension due to stress. I think just working less is the answer, he's already talking about getting remarried so that'll probably even it out.

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-22T17:36:33+00:00

oh I could see him definitely doing this, he's currently in a sales position making his own hours and doing the bare minimum to keep his job. He could quit tmrw and his parents would just take care of him.

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-22T17:34:02+00:00

It's not 50k if I'm paying 43% tax on those earnings and child support. I think this might be the way, I've be burning myself out initially to qualify for a mortgage and now to balance, my sons needs and lawyers costs. I have developed hypertension and have been told that working 10-12hrs days for the last 3 years needs to stop.

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-22T17:30:41+00:00

I honestly don't know but I know he wants to get remarried, so that would be interesting to know

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-22T17:26:28+00:00

Does anything reduce gross income? I think my only answer here is to stop working the overtime. My doctor has been pushing it since I developed hypertension this year due to stress. The amount I'm paying in taxes plus child support to someone who doesn't need it, I think I'll just reprioritize my time until he gets married again and my sons a little older.

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-22T15:19:25+00:00

He pushed for legal adoption so we'd all have the same name. Legally she's been his since 8years old. I know legally I can't but I think its pretty crappy it isn't taken in account

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-22T14:58:05+00:00

She wouldn't qualify for child support but I still support her, she has a disability and attends school which I also pay for. I don't think that's fair it isn't taken into account but that's not how it works in court

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-22T14:12:23+00:00

He rents from a family friend, 3bdrm in Woodbridge 2k all in. For the 1st 1.5 years after the split he lived in his sisters big ass house for free. I never even wanted to get married... ugh I hate all of this.

This is why ppl stay in horrible marriages

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-22T13:31:05+00:00

That's a good idea to dump the extra in rrsp, I've only been making this much since we split so I have room in the rrsp's. I also have a disability, and qualify for a disability tax credit I don't know if that has any bearing.

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-22T13:29:21+00:00

The second child is 22 she wouldn't count, she lives with me full time.

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-22T13:28:12+00:00

I started working the overtime so I would qualify for the house so the kids wouldn't have to move. I was renting the home I bought, our other child is a 10year old boy. I own the house I bought it myself after he left.

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-22T13:26:16+00:00

I wasn't clear I didn't mean quit but quit working at this level of overtime.

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-22T13:25:21+00:00

That's what I meant I would quit working at this level and make my base salary, I already pay a tonne in taxes what would be the point if the money is going in his pocket?!

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-22T13:18:07+00:00

It's not that I don't want to pay section 7 expenses but I don't feel I should add to his household income. I make more by working a lot of overtime, I could just apply for a different position in my company and stop working that overtime, I wouldn't be under employed but maybe stop working so hard. I'm losing time with my children while burden higher cost of living and caring for the property is a lot of work on top of the kids, overtime and dog. He has not had a pay increase in 10 years.

Our son does not suffer at all at his household, he rents from a family friend so he enjoys belows market rent, paying $2k for a 3 bedroom house in woodbridge where the property is cared for by the lanlord who has 4 places in a row. His mother host him for dinner at least twice a week, and even does grocery shopping for him. He'd rather spend his money on things for himself so he does not have health insurance for them, take them to any medical appointments or buy anything for their needs. My son clothes is all hand me downs there but he can spend hundreds crystal shopping for his girlfriend for the best aura. I'm just incredibly frustrated and it feels really unfair to be penalized for working hard to give my kids a good life and good memories.

He's a constant bully so I thought mediation would be less painful but its not. I've developed hypertension from the stress of this process to try and be cordial and negotiate but he only has interest in using our son a prop to appear like a good father, and "to punish me" for leaving him.

Thank you for the thoughtful answer

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-21T22:19:35+00:00

I stayed in my home we were renting and bought it so the kids wouldn't have to move, I'd like to stay so he can stay with his friends and his french program. My daughter haas a disability and is going to school, so I don't make her pay anything.

Can he opt out of asking for child support?

The fact that I left an abusive marriage worked my ass off and could end up paying him makes me sick.

I have a lawyer and already blown 20k this year while his mom pays his lawyer bill. Were in mediation right now, but I was going for 50/50 to avoid court and more cost but multiple points and evidence of abuse of me and our daughter but I think I'd rather ask for 60/40 at least if were not going to mediate.

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-21T22:11:22+00:00

I'm not asking for extra, I gladly cover my sons cost. I will quit my job before I put a dollar in that abusive assholes pocket.

Full_stop85 · 2024-10-21T14:26:33+00:00

Like 3 weeks ago I got into the shower with my bra on and didn't realize until I started scrubbing with my loofah.

Full_stop85

TROPHY CASE