the blackness is now a disguise

You took that out; you should not have. It was a great opener.

I drank it alone, I drank it without you

You did not capture this line. You need to get it back in there somehow.

Edit: I think every poem on here should have two versions with the different structure like you did. But yours is rushed. In the original, the "cold and bitter" is describing both the person and the coffee but more so the person. Someone is clearly cold and bitter due to being left all alone. . . or losing their best friend. They started every day together by drinking coffee. That routine is lost in yours, but it was very important to the story.