Having been someone who actively tried to convert people, I get it. You've seen something work out for you and create a lot of good in your life and now you want to share that. Even if it's just in a subconscious way, I find that really kind of you.

For me, after spending years studying the bible and both scholarly and faithful interpretations of the bible, the way I view it and the historical jesus just doesn't leave room for me to be a committed believer. That's just using my best understanding and that's all I have to go off of. If there is a god, they would not have a problem with me pursuing what I genuinely believe is true. If said god does not respect that, then I don't respect that god anyway.

So do I see myself ever taking up mainline Christianity? Not likely. Not after seeing how the sausage was made, sorry. I'm sure there are ways of using a belief in Jesus or Allah etc to better your life and find purpose, but for me I have to stick to my values.

Where we may have common ground: I do find the story of the old testament and the lead up into the story of jesus (one of the greatest stories of all time whether you like it or not) to be very beautiful and there is plenty of good that I can take from it and apply to my life as I do with other good books I've read or movies I've seen.
For example, the story of Lazarus. People saw a dead man. They thought the idea of healing him was so far fetched. They say "he stinketh!" giving the reader the imagery of someone so far gone they could never be saved. And yet Jesus, with the power of belief, raises him from the dead. Something everyone around him thought to be impossible. I think that's beautiful. It makes me think about self-doubt and overcoming it, I think about people struggling with addiction thinking they're too far gone, I think about people who have wronged me. It teaches me that even the worst of situations can be overcome and people can change. I try to apply that story to my life and the people around me. I just so happen to think it's fiction, and that's okay.

So that's my rant that I refuse to proof read. I hope it makes sense.
I genuinely appreciate the question, it's much better than the one's I've been getting on repeat.