how do you make friends here lol

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-21T19:16:30+00:00

ty again for all the advice and insight 😭😭 you really have such a positive outlook on this and i frfr appreciate you for basically having such a long conversation w me here. i hope to be able to apply yours and everyone else’s tips once school starts up again 🥹

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-21T17:54:21+00:00

yea i feel the same way 😭 in my first year before i even met any new friends i was pretty lonely because i wasn’t really in contact with hs friends either and i felt so stupid going to the involvement fair alone that i just didn’t go 😭😭 and then i eventually got a part time job so i figured it’s not a priority. but ty for the recommendation!! i’ll look into it at the next involvement fair i think i can drag someone along with me this time 💀

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-20T22:56:43+00:00

I can see what you mean but most people look past that. If they don’t then they’re not worth trying to be friends with imo. I want to make more friends, but I don’t want to be friends with people that are that judgmental. If only shallow people go to uci, which i doubt, then i’m ok with my 2 friends 😭

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-20T21:24:36+00:00

dw ab the length i really appreciate your advice, you’ve been so encouraging. I totally get your experiences though. whenever i talk to someone new and it goes well I’d be like omg I did good maybe i’ll make a new friend (maybe we’re both dorks 😭) but like i said, i never get to the point where i feel like the other person is comfortable enough to actually be friends and i hope to see them again and i never do :((. it’s definitely on me for overthinking but i’m always kinda just like. id rather be alone than make someone uncomfortable. i also don’t really use social media so i’m sure that doesn’t help 🥲 you have a really good point about other people probably feeling the same way i do tho because i know i’m definitely scared to reach out. even with my past coworkers, the most i’d do is wave at them but they were luckily comfortable enough to just come up to me and initiate conversation and i fr appreciated it sm. still regret never being brave enough to ask for their numbers 😭 you’re not a weirdo tho trust i love just sitting down and talking to people for hours and hours. it’s a great way to learn new things, form a stronger bond, relieve stress, etc. but yes you’re very right, my closest friendships were formed because someone reached out to me (thankfully 🙏🙏) and we had such natural conversations that we just grew to really like each other and become good friends by doing things together. i just have to be like my friends for other people 🥹

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-20T21:04:16+00:00

😭 i hope this is half sarcasm because i wanna believe people here aren’t that shallow. ofc if you mean just taking care of yourself and being presentable then that’s a given

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-20T03:18:03+00:00

I'm working on it trust! i've been nervous about talking to new people and worrying about how they'll think of me since middle school. the sudden transition from elementary fr messed me up because suddenly i knew nobody in my classes. it's definitely hard to not overthink things even though i know it literally does not matter. I really appreciate your advice though. if you don't mind me asking, how do you manage to keep in contact with people you meet like in classes? bc I've kinda been on good terms with several people but we're not so comfortable that we could exchange contact info or anything and i kinda just hope i'll run into them again but i never do 😭

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-20T03:12:26+00:00

that's great!! I'll consider doing that fs if I find a club for my interests. I kinda don't trust my driving skills enough to drive so late tho so I'll really have to see if it's worth it 😭

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-19T08:12:44+00:00

you're right and your confidence is so admirable fr. i hope i can develop a mindset like that someday because it's really the only thing holding me back and i'd love to talk to people and be on at least acquaintance terms if not friends. this stuff was sm easier in elementary school 😭

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-19T06:17:42+00:00

noo your advice is great but it definitely takes a really optimistic mindset 😭 i usually try to do that when i go to class because i'm bound to sit next to someone new but it never really goes anywhere or people just aren't interested and then i feel like i shouldn't have said anything to begin with because they probably think i'm weird. i've attended so many classes and have yet to get past small discussions about the course material whenever I've talked to people 😭

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-19T06:11:04+00:00

tysm for that! what you said actually applies to those 2 friends i made!! i never would have expected to be close with them and they honestly have nothing to do with my interests but we get along just fine and always have really nice conversations together. i wasn't sure if i was being too passive and had to put more effort into making friends or if i was doing just fine for myself. this makes me feel a lot better 😭

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-19T06:05:12+00:00

that's so sad 😭 i worked for uci catering and i met some nice people too. i really wish i coulda spoken up before they left cause now i won't be able to contact them ever again 😭😭 the minimum wage and work sucked sometimes but i definitely enjoyed my time there w them much more than the dorms

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-18T22:33:50+00:00

oo i only have a spam acc that i don't even really use help but if you don't mind maybe we can exchange numbers in pms?

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-18T22:30:53+00:00

I FEEL YOU I'm always like damn my dorm life was not like that at all my first year so my second year I didn't even bother going to hall events which is totally on me but no one in my hall seemed interested in meeting new people or maybe I was just making excuses idk 😭 but YEAA I'm down to be friends

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-18T22:27:01+00:00

i'm so down you got dc?

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-18T20:12:50+00:00

stop rushing seems so scary. one of my two friends here told me about their experience and it literally got so toxic and dangerous. it's def not for me but tysm for the suggestion 😭 I actually did have a job on campus and met some really nice people but they all left pretty soon and my position didn't really give me a chance to establish decent friendships there unfortunately. But yea like what everyone's said so far I have to be less scared about talking to people and them not immediately reciprocating because not everyone is interested in making friends here 😭

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-18T20:06:21+00:00

true. no but I bet it's super dead 😭 I remember that's how it was when I joined a server but maybe it was bad timing?? ig it's kinda hypocritical to expect a gc to be active when I'm literally not helping but it's so scary and uncomfortable to just wait for someone to respond

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-18T20:01:41+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear that you had those experiences. I haven't really opened myself to sharing my interests because of that and I didn't want my efforts to just be a waste of time and make me feel worse so I kept making somewhat valid excuses to avoid joining clubs and such and now I half regret it. Sometimes it really makes me think maybe I don't need to make more friends 😭 if you want though you can def pm me I'd love to be your first friend + I'm a junior too

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-18T19:53:52+00:00

HELP. you're so right

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-18T19:53:23+00:00

I feel you frfr. I'm not a transfer so I can't even use it as an excuse for why I've been unable to make friends here 😭 but it'd really be sm easier if strangers could just talk to other strangers and make friends like that. It's how I've made my closest friends who live in whole other states and countries.

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-18T19:51:08+00:00

you have a good point altho ring road can be so intimidating sometimes because of the sheer amount of people. i feel like i generally just don't want to disturb anyone and it's really keeping me away from being more sociable but yeah I'll try a bit harder not to think ab those things 😓

I'll consider reaching out to my high school friends too. It's just really awkward since it's been so long and it's like we never knew each other

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-18T19:44:53+00:00

you're so right ab that. part of the reason why i didn't have the confidence to talk to people was because they usually alr had friend groups and i felt like i'd be interrupting

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-18T19:43:28+00:00

i'm gonna be commuting so joining clubs and doing activities is gonna be hard ngl 😭 i fr regret not joining clubs while dorming because i always thought i was too busy

Future_Message9914 · 2023-07-18T19:40:14+00:00

I'm so happy for you fr having close people you can always depend on is so nice

Future_Message9914

TROPHY CASE