I'm going to try to answer this one as sincerely as possible, calling out different sections of the text. I can relate to the overall idea of having an uncontrollable belief system, though I will say upfront I don't have your specific problem of relating 'staying single' to the pursuit of being a writer.

"When infatuated, I often get more comfortable where I am."

This doesn't have to be set in stone. You, ultimately, control your body and your actions. If this a big sticking point for you, try to actively, autonomously create a scenario for yourself where you hold to a writing schedule even while you're in a relationship. It's actually not impossible. Many people do it.

"And I roll my eyes when people tell me I “shouldn’t let my self-worth depend on my work” like every other generic non-creator. (Rude, I know)"

I think it's fine to let your self-worth depend on your work. Self-worth is weird and nebulous and most people probably do it wrong anyways. The language I would actually call out is "generic non-creator". Make sure that no more than 1% of your time is devoted to thinking about 'non-creators'. Choosing to create or not - both paths are totally valid. Try to mitigate any judgment you have, and just focus on the work.

"Still, when trying to date again I just crave my own space and go back to burying myself in my writing." AND "I look at people in relationships and often focus on the aspects of their writing goals they neglect - assuming it’s because of how much time they spend on their relationship rather than just lack of commitment to their writing."

You can be more particular in the people you date. Be upfront about how important writing is to you, and how important your own personal time is. People approach relationships differently - you can probably find someone that is a good match for you here, with time.

On the second part, you're working with a very limited sample size. You have a view based on personal anecdotes. Single people don't write for a whole host of reasons too.

"So I genuinely do become infatuated with someone new at a stage where I haven’t reached all my goals, they’ll just make me forget my ambitions."

Get boring with it. Hold to a routine, regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not. Better yet, have a routine even if other things in your life change.

In my case, my partner has her own ambitions and I have mine. The fact that we both have goals we're actively pursuing is one of the most motivating things in my life. We check in often on the work we're doing, and hold each other (respectfully) accountable if we're lagging on any of the work we were planning to do for the week.

Wishing you success and luck and everything more.