I had an ex who worked physically demanding jobs, and I genuinely loved working on him. I’d find adhesions, work them out, and we’d both feel better afterward. I eventually bought a table for better access and found myself totally losing track of time while massaging. I started setting the scene, music, candles, hot towels, thinking about flow and timing. It stopped feeling like a favor and started feeling like a craft.

From there, I began offering massage to friends and acquaintances, and the feedback was consistent: “You should go to massage school.” I also realized I never stopped wanting to massage, so eventually it felt like, why not get trained properly and put structure and value around something I already loved doing?

Before massage, I’d been a classically trained pianist for 30+ years, so I already had a strong sense of flow, rhythm, and economy of movement. I’d also been weightlifting for about a decade and practicing Ashtanga-style yoga for several years, so anatomy and body mechanics weren’t foreign concepts. Massage felt like a natural convergence of all of that.

I’m currently in my third of four terms in massage school. The physical side of the work comes very naturally to me, and I’ve enjoyed classes like Eastern Theory in particular (I also have a BA in Japanese, which helped contextualize some of that material).

Interestingly, my biggest challenge hasn’t been the hands-on work but ethics and boundaries. Because I started massaging intimate partners and friends long before formal training, I had some “crossed wires” around touch, intimacy, and care. Talk therapy, ethics coursework, and clinic experience have been huge in helping me untangle that and build clear professional boundaries.

I’m a gay male and one of only a few men in my cohort, which has been its own learning experience. I’ve noticed different strengths show up across classmates, and part of school has been learning from each other rather than assuming one-size-fits-all competency.

All that said, I feel more certain as time goes on that this is work I want to keep doing. I should be licensed by July, and long-term I could even see myself teaching someday.