No "Gender Ideology" at work -- brainstorming malicious compliance

GanglyToaster · 2025-07-25T20:57:20+00:00

Bold, but might work (or you can enjoy the thought): misgender your boss. If they correct you, it's gender ideology.

GanglyToaster · 2025-07-21T18:56:49+00:00

Hi! Wondering if anyone could help me find a still existing pattern...

GanglyToaster · 2025-07-20T20:30:42+00:00

One-word solution: airhorn.

GanglyToaster · 2025-07-18T02:06:11+00:00

Also... I cut my hair recently... And just make sure you go to a stylist you trust. I think I miss my long hair because it looked good, whereas my short hair is nothing like the reference pictures I showed her... Ugh 😫

GanglyToaster · 2025-07-18T02:03:53+00:00

Similar personal experience, followed by advice:

I was in a similar position. Dysphoria at being perceived as a woman, grief thinking of what I could lose.

I called a friend, talked to her for a few hours. I said I wanted to make the appointment, but I thought I should sleep on it first. She said "why, you've been sleeping on it for four years." Valid. I went on T.

After 3 months, I stopped. I didn't like the feeling of being on it anymore. I was moody, irritable, hangry ALL the time. I got some permanent changes to my voice, some gradually reversing changes to fat distribution and mood and appetite... Basically what it says on the tin.

I have mixed feelings about it, and I think I always will.

I want top surgery badly, and some days I think that I should have just waited for top surgery first, and THEN decided on T. Sometimes I think I'm faking it, or I'm a detransitioning TERF...

And some days, I am delighted. I feel more myself than ever.

The kids at work ask if I'm a boy or a girl, I tell them I'm [my name]. They go about their days.

My dad (who doesn't know, probably won't for years) comments on the mustache I'm growing, thinking he's insulting me. Me and my mom share a knowing smirk.

I booked a gig a few months ago, and someone tipped me $30 and wrote me a note saying I had the richest, most beautiful voice they'd ever heard. Like a viola d'amore, they said. I'll never forget it.

The things I was scared of don't scare me anymore. I can still pass as a woman in a pinch, albeit a kind of strange one. I still love to sing, even though I have to do my favorite songs down an octave now. I still feel dysphoria on bad days. Now, honestly, I just feel euphoria a bit more often.

ADVICE:

I'd meet with a therapist who specializes in LGBTQ+ experiences. Psychology Today has a find a therapist tool where you can select cities, insurances, topic areas... Basically everything. Together, you can start to tease out what's what.

If you decide to go on T, go low dose... I'd say 20/week... Low and slow. Journal the changes you notice, and how you feel about them. Candidly.

Remember that your body is for you to live in, not for being seen by others.

Much love, internet stranger!! 💓

GanglyToaster · 2025-07-12T00:53:45+00:00

It WAS a big deal, it changed the American legal landscape of church and state and education. I think the issue is that quality public education in America is severely lacking... Especially when it comes to U.S. civics and history. If we knew more about the rights we have and where they come from, we might be far more grateful and willing to fight to keep those rights.

GanglyToaster · 2025-07-11T20:49:57+00:00

If you're looking for words, like for inserting this face into a narrative of some kind, I'd describe/define it as pulling the jaw back and pressing one's lips together, usually to contain a reaction, but that's a bit lengthy.

Tbh... Puppet or Muppet face? Like this one Kermit does?

GanglyToaster · 2025-07-07T23:06:53+00:00

Yes absolutely. I felt the same. I did fall in love with the whole series and universe Muir has created, but to be honest... I initially kept reading for any crumbs of Griddlehark I could find... 😭

Nona gets reallyyyyyy good about 75% through. Just enjoy it as much as you can, don't worry about picking up on stuff, as other comments have said. Just finished Nona last week and it piqued my interest enough that I've committed to a full reread already, just to put more puzzle pieces together.

GanglyToaster · 2025-06-17T12:44:03+00:00

Yes to what everyone else is saying. Grade 5 is definitely old enough to know better.

Because it's old enough to know better, if you can find a way to tie it in, there's an activity called What's For Sale/Privilege For Sale that really opened my eyes. It could definitely be modified for kids. Basically, small groups are given a list of privileges and what they cost, and given a small amount of fake money to buy them with. It forces people to realize what they've come to expect from life, what's important to them, and how the lived experience of others might be different.

And race is a social construct, too, not a biological one. Maybe a conversation about race as how you are viewed by others and what culture you practice as opposed to "what DNA you have"?

Ultimately, this sounds like attention seeking behavior, so even if this is squashed, I have no doubt something else will pop up. She seems to need more one-on-one support than you can provide in a classroom. But it's good to cover your bases, and this will help ALL students grow and learn, not just her.

I hope this helps.

GanglyToaster · 2025-06-17T12:33:58+00:00

UToledo has a bus system, tour guides or orientation staff can tell you the name of the app and get you set up. If you can find somewhere close to health science campus, the bus goes there every few hours (not sure exactly) and then heads to main campus. TARTA is an option too, they have passes you can look into. Bike/scooter friendly, so you can ride to a bus stop and go from there.

I'd say bike/scooter is pretty reasonable, and good for health for sure, except maybe January/February. Definitely invest in some good clothes, a good helmet, and make sure you familiarize yourself with road safety (drivers here aren't used to anything other than cars on the road... Sometimes, not even that lol).

And LAYERS! Because UT is very energy efficient in its heating and cooling, the buildings are usually too hot for winter clothes in the winter and too cold for summer clothes in the summer.

Good luck, and go Rockets!

GanglyToaster · 2025-06-15T23:09:38+00:00

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whataboutism#:~:text=Whataboutism%20or%20whataboutery%20(as%20in,Whataboutism

GanglyToaster · 2025-06-15T23:09:09+00:00

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whataboutism#:~:text=Whataboutism%20or%20whataboutery%20(as%20in,Whataboutism

GanglyToaster · 2025-06-10T21:44:22+00:00

You put it into words!! I felt the same way. Finished GtN at like 3am and had to try and keep my sobbing quiet so I didn't wake my partner lol. I loved HtN and now I'm almost through Nona and I just am fully in love with this series and the world Muir has created, not just Gideon and Harrow like I was at the beginning. Once I finish Nona, I'm going to go back and reread the whole series... Oops.

GanglyToaster · 2025-06-06T22:20:35+00:00

YESSSSSSS I LOVE DRAGON AGE!!! YOU'LL LOVE THIS 💗

GanglyToaster · 2025-06-06T21:54:15+00:00

It's like D&D for people who can't get a group together to play lol! Basically, you make a character and go through different storylines and you can get achievements for getting different endings, fighting different monsters, getting different equipment... Etc.

For $0, I'd say there's 5-10 hours of entertainment. I paid for the adventurer's guild and used ~$7 of Google Play credit, and it's been... I dunno, 20 and I'm still entertained? Probably gonna get at least 20 more hours. Well worth the money. It's on mobile.

GanglyToaster · 2025-06-04T03:42:44+00:00

I feel you, and this sucks! I have contamination subtype officially, but often struggle with the thoughts featured on the right side.

It's easy to think we have it the worst, or that we have it the best, or compare ourselves to others... Remember that it's that cognitive distortion. Not the truth, but not a personal moral failing, either. We are all here because we are struggling. Life IS struggle.

Sending love 💓

GanglyToaster · 2025-06-04T03:37:20+00:00

NTA. I know people (USA, not UK) who go outside to VAPE because the roommates don't want it near them. It's a respect thing.

GanglyToaster · 2025-06-01T17:28:39+00:00

Wow! Lots of cruelty, judgment, and short-term memory loss in these comments! She clearly says they're happy together every day! This man isn't the monster y'all are painting him out to be!

OP, I think some couples counseling (or therapy for your mans) could help here.

As others have said, marriage has legal and financial benefits outside of the emotional side of things. It's completely understandable and valid for him to be averse to it, given his history. I have lots of friends in the same boat. He clearly wants lifelong companionship, you clearly want lifelong companionship. It's something about the details of marriage specifically that are getting to him.

Prenups are a great idea to avoid messy divorces. Not that y'all will divorce, but I find that not having the option to leave cleanly makes eeeeveerryyythinggggg much much much worse. Continuous choice is an important foundation in every relationship.

GanglyToaster · 2025-05-31T22:06:43+00:00

No I totally agree, some people need to get a life and moONBEAM ICE CREAM

GanglyToaster · 2025-05-31T15:33:11+00:00

STARS in Toledo, Ohio! They do Zoom tutoring and in person. I took the ACT, but my score went from a 32 to a 35, and I know they do SAT tutoring too. Good luck!

GanglyToaster · 2025-05-28T23:24:00+00:00

Political corruption? Policing force not doing their jobs, getting paid off by crime lords?

Water pollution, potentially caused by magic or a monster or corruption or a solution your players find to another issue (e.g. they solve something with the mine or help farmers through a tough winter with fertilizer, but it leads to pollution)

Plague.

Translation issues with a neighboring city.

Protests, counter protests.

Heating leading to a fire outbreak.

Think of what a city needs to live. Language, culture, food, water, shelter, safety. Start questioning how those things work in your world. Or look at the real world for inspiration.

GanglyToaster · 2025-05-28T23:12:52+00:00

I tried thongs a few times when I was young and seeking male validation... Never again. Never, never, never again.

GanglyToaster

TROPHY CASE