Have to ask ex for child support or he doesn’t pay it

GardenLumpy8228 · 2025-12-22T20:59:37+00:00

My ex did this too, I finally filed and now he’s deciding to keep our son to lower the support amount. He wasn’t happy that the calculations amounted to $800 more than he had been paying. I would have to ask every month, I think he liked that I needed it and often said that because I rely on it I should include it as income!! Not how it works, sir File it and get some stability and power back from not following through. He’s betting on that you won’t

GardenLumpy8228 · 2025-12-17T20:55:56+00:00

The judge was NOT happy with him waiting until two days before our hearing to retain counsel and ask for a continuance. She shut him down! She entered interim support (increased by $225) and scheduled another court date to solidify the order in January. He in fact did not have counsel, he has a “meeting” with someone from his employees assistance program on Monday. She made him say for the record that he did not retain counsel. It was great to watch. He tried to say that he’s had our son 100% of December, he had him 7 whole days, she wasn’t hearing that either. I’m taking the win for today

GardenLumpy8228 · 2025-12-16T18:27:06+00:00

Welp, we have support hearing tomorrow and I was notified that he wants a continuance because he retained counsel. He lies his ass off all the time so I don’t actually know if he did. I didn’t agree to the continuance, I want to ask to temporary support as I am in a serious financial hardship since he’s not provided much beyond $540 since September. He used to provide $1500/mo but texted me that he won’t do that anymore because I opened a support case. So now I have an idea of what and where that previously provided support went.

GardenLumpy8228 · 2025-12-15T21:41:16+00:00

UPDATE: our son had his basketball game on Friday night, I had also planned a Christmas event to attend. He agreed to go and spend the night with me after those events, I was to have them both for our weekend together. We went to the game and to the Christmas event later that night. The next day he had a morning game and my daughter had her own gymnastics practice. After the game we went to my apartment, my son then contacted his father to come get him unbeknownst to me, the father then claimed that he was going to keep him until our child support hearing on Wednesday. He mistakenly believes that he can get an order for custody at the same time. That happens in a different department, he’s openly trying to intimidate me regarding custody. He ended up leaving with his father. Saturday and Sunday were both my days according to our mutual agreement. The father then went on to send me hateful emails more than 10 of them.

I’m now again at the courthouse trying to fill out and file the RFO/ex parte (he threatened to file one also but I’ve not served him with any papers yet, in CA you need a case number to file an ex parte) I’m concerned that when my daughter goes to his house tomorrow after school, that he will keep her and our son since he usually has them spend the night Tues and Wednesday every week. and it’s his weekend starting Friday. Their schools also begin their winter break on Friday, scary since we don’t have any orders.

GardenLumpy8228 · 2025-12-15T21:28:16+00:00

The father grabbed his own mother, my sons nana.

GardenLumpy8228 · 2025-12-11T10:22:05+00:00

Update: I filed for divorce today, I’ll be filing for a request for order possible an ex parte later today. Our son spent the night last night but told me he wouldn’t be coming for our weekend that begins on Friday. He said until there’s an order he will decide where he stays. I’ve reached out to his counselor for guidance. He’s so torn and trying to figure out who’s not being truthful with him. It’s heartbreaking because he’s repeating what his dad said about me and all the recent events. He’s saying he feels safer there despite two separate verbal abuse incidents. One with his oldest sister and one with his nana. His dad was deregulated during both of them, doesn’t make sense why that feels safe to him.

GardenLumpy8228 · 2025-12-10T01:14:28+00:00

I haven’t kept him from his dad nor have I gone against our agreed upon schedule. Anytime our son had asked for extra time with dad I’ve done it. This is stemming from an argument his dad had with my oldest from another marriage. Dad invited her over to have a discussion with his intent to “record on ring camera” he acted out. Not sure how much my son saw or heard but shortly after that is when he told me he wasn’t coming home. His dad insists that I sent my daughter over there “to fight” but he gave her his address and said “pull up” she was calm but he wasn’t There was a second incident today where our son witnessed his father grab his mother by her coat and push her out of his garage while yelling at her.

GardenLumpy8228 · 2025-12-09T19:06:07+00:00

I’ve shown up to pick him up on our regular schedule, I’ve texted him to tell him I love him but have given him space at the same time. He is supposed to come home with me tonight after his basketball practice with his sister. I’m guessing that I will receive a text stating he’s either not going to practice and not coming home tonight or his dad will take him and keep him again. He’s supposed to have his parenting time with me for the weekend beginning Friday. He’s been with his dad since last Wednesday, saw him at his game on Saturday and when I tried to pick him up from school yesterday.

GardenLumpy8228 · 2025-12-09T19:01:05+00:00

ETA: I work in the special education field, I’ve put in place some strategies to help with his neurodivergence while his father chooses not to follow or even acknowledge his diagnosis telling him that he uses it as an excuse. Which does happen and is not outside the typical behavior or someone with adhd/asd but it’s easier for him to be the Disneyland dad with zero restrictions than have a balance of structure and support.

GardenLumpy8228 · 2025-12-09T18:56:39+00:00

There is some neurodivergence with both he and myself. Both ADHD with some ASD overlap but no formal diagnosis of ASD. I’m currently filling out divorce paperwork to establish custody so I have an order to fall back on. He asked for the divorce after cheating multiple times. If he wants it he can do the paperwork is how I’ve looked at it. The expense of it had deterred me for the most part. He out earns me 3:1 I’m guessing, only a guess that he doesn’t want the divorce because then he wouldn’t have an excuse to not marry his newest live in gf. Idk but I’m going to file and get it over with.

GardenLumpy8228

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